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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Things DP said to me while on holiday

641 replies

noodlewoo · 08/10/2024 07:01

Commented on what I was wearing to the airport. He said “you could have made more of an effort. “look at all these girls wearing trendy clothes. You need to start wearing clothes like that” I mean we literally had just got to the airport to go on holiday. Not a great start

Then when we got there he continued to point out what other women were wearing. “I like those gym leggings and sets” Don’t you wish you could wear stuff like that”

Continued to remind me that when we get home I need to get back on my diet. Maybe this is where I’m being sensitive because he said “for your sake not mine”

Then he asked if he thought people would put us together. Wasn’t sure what he meant so I asked him. He said well do you think people would think either of us were punching.

I sometimes have trouble with my back where it “goes” We were on a boat trip and when it was time to get off and stand up I said ouch and told him my back had a little twinge. He said “don’t start”

Then on the morning we were due to go home I came on my period and said I was “angin” for people who don’t know what that means it basically means disgusting

I’ve come home feeling a bit shitty and unloved but I’m not sure if I’m being over sensitive. Seems like he possibly doesn’t find me attractive which if that’s the case then fair enough but how would this make others feel?

OP posts:
Moonshiners · 08/10/2024 07:14

Please get rid of this vile bastard.

Trebolle · 08/10/2024 07:16

Good news is he's not your husband.

Dump him immediately.

Summerhillsquare · 08/10/2024 07:16

I bet you are gorgeous. Big hug OP. Some people get off on putting others down, because they are so inadequate themselves.

noodlewoo · 08/10/2024 07:17

Thank you everyone. You’ve made me feel better knowing it’s not me. For those who have asked, we’ve been together 12 years and have 2 DC

OP posts:
BogRollBOGOF · 08/10/2024 07:17

Hopes that "DP" is meaning recent boyfriend and is very straight forward to dump...

He's vile and you're already doubting yourself. Get him out of your life before he crushes your self esteem.

If he's grossed out by periods, he'll be beyond hopless with pregnancy, birth and fatherhood so there's no happy future in that department with him involved.

Bugger- cross posted.
I hope it's not too difficult to unentangle your lives.

HavingAnOffDAy · 08/10/2024 07:17

OP please make plans to leave this ‘man’.

My ex-H ruined many holidays, my self esteem, and our marriage making similar comments. I wasn’t allowed to be ill/demonstrate pain, and towards the end even emotion of any kind.

He was abusive and so is your partner. Get out. Fast.

Oceanviews · 08/10/2024 07:19

What a nasty man. How would he like it if you made such comments towards him? He wants to destroy your self esteem, make you insecure about yourself and that can take years to recover from. I'd leave asap.

ahemfem · 08/10/2024 07:20

noodlewoo · 08/10/2024 07:17

Thank you everyone. You’ve made me feel better knowing it’s not me. For those who have asked, we’ve been together 12 years and have 2 DC

Oh. I was hoping this was a new relationship and you'd find it easy to leave. Is this how you want your 2 DC to behave? Is this what you want them to think love is? You need to leave him to show them it's not acceptable.

Sceptical123 · 08/10/2024 07:20

A BIT shitty and unloved??? 😳

Backtoblack87 · 08/10/2024 07:22

Wow he clearly doesn’t like you much! Bin him NOW!

noodlewoo · 08/10/2024 07:23

So we are still young (29) and had our first DC when we were 21. While we were on holiday he said “do you wonder what our life would be like if we didn’t have children so young” now I can’t remember exactly what he said next it was either that we probably wouldn’t still be together or that we might not still be together. Then when I questioned that he said he was joking

OP posts:
Gettoachiro · 08/10/2024 07:24

He is way, way way below your level. He needs to be shipped out with comments like this or, given your life together, a complete change in attitude and with how he speaks and treats you, starting from now.

Blooming awful.

noodlewoo · 08/10/2024 07:24

And to top it off he said all this on my birthday🤣 it gets better

OP posts:
dayslikethese1 · 08/10/2024 07:24

LTB; he's basically saying he thinks you're not good looking enough for him, that's horrible.

ExtraOnions · 08/10/2024 07:24

What do you say back to him when he says there things ?

”dress smarter for the airport”
”I was following your lead”

”would people put us together”
”probably not, as I’m such a catch”

You don’t need to be passive in this.

speedmop · 08/10/2024 07:24

So this all came out of the blue and otherwise he’s a loving and supportive partner?

please say no kids involved

Gemmy96 · 08/10/2024 07:25

All I can say is thank god you're not married to him

speedmop · 08/10/2024 07:26

Gemmy96 · 08/10/2024 07:25

All I can say is thank god you're not married to him

yet

TrumpIsACuntWaffle · 08/10/2024 07:26

SerenityNowInsanityLater · 08/10/2024 07:04

OP, you need to have MNHQ edit your title to read "Things ex-DP said to me while on holiday".

This

LuckySantangelo35 · 08/10/2024 07:26

Dump him OP!
onwards and upwards

speedmop · 08/10/2024 07:26

noodlewoo · 08/10/2024 07:17

Thank you everyone. You’ve made me feel better knowing it’s not me. For those who have asked, we’ve been together 12 years and have 2 DC

poor kids

what kind of a benchmark for a relationship will they have OP

LunaNorth · 08/10/2024 07:28

If my DH said just one of those things to me, I’d be punching all right - punching the number of a divorce solicitor into my phone and also his stupid face.

What an abusive, vile, objectifying and thick cunt he sounds. Awful excuse for a man. Fire him into the sun.

mylkshake · 08/10/2024 07:28

he sees you as an appliance, not a human being

the question is why you tolerate it

Waitingfordoggo · 08/10/2024 07:29

I hope neither of the DC is a girl. It’d be immensely damaging for a girl to have a dad who thinks her period is disgusting.

DBSFstupid · 08/10/2024 07:29

Oh OP. What a total wanka.
It will not get better, sorry x

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