Things DP said to me while on holiday

[noodlewoo]

Commented on what I was wearing to the airport. He said “you could have made more of an effort. “look at all these girls wearing trendy clothes. You need to start wearing clothes like that” I mean we literally had just got to the airport to go on holiday. Not a great start

Then when we got there he continued to point out what other women were wearing. “I like those gym leggings and sets” Don’t you wish you could wear stuff like that”

Continued to remind me that when we get home I need to get back on my diet. Maybe this is where I’m being sensitive because he said “for your sake not mine”

Then he asked if he thought people would put us together. Wasn’t sure what he meant so I asked him. He said well do you think people would think either of us were punching.

I sometimes have trouble with my back where it “goes” We were on a boat trip and when it was time to get off and stand up I said ouch and told him my back had a little twinge. He said “don’t start”

Then on the morning we were due to go home I came on my period and said I was “angin” for people who don’t know what that means it basically means disgusting

I’ve come home feeling a bit shitty and unloved but I’m not sure if I’m being over sensitive. Seems like he possibly doesn’t find me attractive which if that’s the case then fair enough but how would this make others feel?

Genuine question, why do you put up with this?

Or

”Dress smarter for the airport.”
”Go fuck yourself.”

”Would people put us together?”
”What the fuck are you talking about? Why do you think ‘people’ give a shit? Are you twelve?’

Etc

To answer his question, yes I do think that one of you is punching. He is so far below your standard that he can't reach your toes.

I read this and felt grateful to be single.

The way he talks to you is utterly horrible!

This whole situation is immensely damaging for children of either sex.

Imagine growing up where it’s demonstrated that it’s ok for verbally abuse a partner and the other just puts up with it. The circle of abuse continues with children either stepping into the role of the abuser or victim.

OP - you have the power to stop this before it’s too late. Get out now, if only for the sake of the children.

Wow, what a shit. Get out now. Youre only 29 so have a long life ahead of you…. And do you want this behaviour for the next 50 years! No way!

She has 2 kids with him though

OP, LTB

He sounds the type to complain if you give any outward sign of discomfort but you can be assured wouldn’t not stop banging on about headaches, man flu, bad back, you name it, and expect you to offer the utmost sympathy each time when he’s feeling below par.

Unless this is a one off, which I don’t think it is, I’m sorry to say he doesn’t love you, or like you very much by the sound of it.

Are you scared to stand up to him and put him in his place, OP? Is he equally as critical of your children? He sounds corrosive to your self esteem and it’s likely he is just as obnoxious unit comes to your kids, which is even more intolerable.

If this is a sudden development it could be that he is on the brink of already possibly involved in an affair, and nothing you do will be good enough.

If he’s displaying other abusive behaviours you should call Women’s Aid for advice, but what he’s already doing would be enough for a lot of women to start planning their exit strategies.

Good luck OP. I’m sorry he ruined your holiday with his appalling behaviour. I hope your children were unaffected, but they will notice the way he is speaking to you and that it is upsetting you, which is 100% his fault x

i would have dumped him at the airport
no its not you its him

What a disgusting man. You should never allow someone to speak to you like that, certainly don't stay in a relationship with someone who does.

Time for a change OP. Trade him in and let some other poor woman experience his 'love'. Rescue yourself before you find you can't.

Awful man. Get out know before he destroys all your confidence and you can’t. People just don’t say these things in loving relationships.

I hope that you aren’t married and don’t have kids, because walking away would be easier. And that’s what you should do.

I think you should leave even if you are married and have kids and a house and all the other things that make separating feel hard.

he doesn’t sound kind.
he clearly thinks you are lacking compared to other women
and thinks it is okay to tell you.

My dad was like this to my mum.
she didn’t leave.
whilst I pretty much loathe my (dead) dad I have always struggled to feel respect towards my mother, and find it easy to fall in to rudeness when talking to her.
I think because I watched this for so long. @

12 years OP has been with him
presumably he’s been a twat for most of it
and here we are

no chance

Exactly
this children have been thoroughly failed by their parents

And it was on her birthday. What a twat. Op you deserve better

Get out Op. All this looking at other women and comparing you to them…I wouldn’t be surprised if he started cheating.

He is vile and awful but it’s obvious he isn’t happy. So I suspect he may cheat if he hasn’t already. Get out for your sake. Whatever weight you need to lose is his!

He's vile. Get rid.

But you’re not married? I hope you’re not a SAHM or only working part time of something.

As usual first response nails it.

Why are you with this complete twat OP?

I bet he thinks Andrew Tate has been fitted up 😒

Is he usually lovely or has he form for putting you down?
Could he be a narcissist?
They love to ruin holidays for those nearest to them.

What a colossal twat.

Single....it would make me want to be single.

What an absolute bell end. He thinks he's better than you, but he's shown that he's not!

You’re not being overly sensitive. His words show how little respect he has for you.

He also sounds like he’s slowly eroding all your self-confidence. Honestly OP, get out now before you completely lose yourself. Better to be alone than treated like this.