Things DP said to me while on holiday

[noodlewoo]

Commented on what I was wearing to the airport. He said “you could have made more of an effort. “look at all these girls wearing trendy clothes. You need to start wearing clothes like that” I mean we literally had just got to the airport to go on holiday. Not a great start

Then when we got there he continued to point out what other women were wearing. “I like those gym leggings and sets” Don’t you wish you could wear stuff like that”

Continued to remind me that when we get home I need to get back on my diet. Maybe this is where I’m being sensitive because he said “for your sake not mine”

Then he asked if he thought people would put us together. Wasn’t sure what he meant so I asked him. He said well do you think people would think either of us were punching.

I sometimes have trouble with my back where it “goes” We were on a boat trip and when it was time to get off and stand up I said ouch and told him my back had a little twinge. He said “don’t start”

Then on the morning we were due to go home I came on my period and said I was “angin” for people who don’t know what that means it basically means disgusting

I’ve come home feeling a bit shitty and unloved but I’m not sure if I’m being over sensitive. Seems like he possibly doesn’t find me attractive which if that’s the case then fair enough but how would this make others feel?

I fervently hope this arsehole is only a boyfriend, lovely. Tell him to go take a flying fuck to himself, the twonk. While you're at it, inform him that you going on a diet won't cost a lot but it'll cost him a fortune for cosmetic surgery (let him work it out😀). You do NOT need negative 💩 like this w⚓ in your life.

Yet another deluded man who thinks he can do better.

Sorry OP, he sounds horrible

Sounds like he thinks he can do better so set him loose and let him try! You don't deserve that bs from anyone!

He's punching because you've ended up saddled with a completely disrespectful and disgusting DP and he has lovely you who should have dumped his ass a long time ago! Leave him. Seriously.

He's a bell end :-) Get rid, pronto.

Ditch him, and don't look back.

He is definitely punching. Bin this see you next Tuesday and find someone on your level

You once were compatible, that's why you were 12 years together und have two kids. But, he doesn't find your attractive anymore. Maybe he is right, maybe you let yourself go. Maybe not, we cannot tell from this post. But we don't know if you still find him attractive either. The way he went about it was rong, however did he actually make these comments before? Surely this is not coming out of the blue? You feel unloved but have you asked him why he is saying all these things? Might be a better idea to talk to him, rather than asking strangers on here who will only tell you to dump him, without having the whole picture.

wtaf?

wtaf?

You think you're being over sensitive to what is essentially mental & emotional abuse? No, absolutely not.
This behaviour is just what abusers do, they put you down, compare you to others, & mess with your head by chipping away at your self worth & self esteem until it's gone.
I won't say leave, because after years of having dealt with this myself, I know it isn't always that simple, or easy. That said, I learned the hard way that if your kids are girls, his abusive ways will soon target them... & If you have boys, they're seeing everything & thinking that this vileness is how to treat women.
At this point, you need to decide what you & your kids are worth/deserve & run with it.

He's vile.

Is he absolutely gorgeous with fantastic taste in clothes, do you feel awed next to his presence? If the answer to any of these questions is no then tell him to shut the f**k up.
How you look and dress is up to you- it's nothing to do with him.
Personal comments like this means he does not love you for who you are-we all deserve to be loved for who we are, anything less is a compromise.
He thinks you are not making enough effort, but he is just not enough, even if he looks good he is decidedly lacking, he also has no empathy which is something every person needs to be suitable as a partner for anyone human.
Any man thinks having a period is disgusting is either a massive misogynist or a closet homosexual, or both- you would be better off alone IMHO.

Please know it's not you. Once you leave him and recover you will meet the right one. Yo won't need to look, he will appear.
You needed this painful experience to allow you to appreciate your new man. Good luck and kind thoughts. Please let us know x

Pick your self esteem up off the floor and move on. He doesn't seem to like you, let alone love you. I'd run far far away. I remember seeing a very young couple in the south of France on holiday. The guy treated her like garbage for the the entire 15min bus ride. He was tall and muscular and she was just a regular girl (cute anyway). He walked 10 steps ahead of her, talked down to her ane he oozed contempt. I am telling you: run. People likely felt sorry for you on holiday. Do not spend another day with him. Don't let people watch you and feel sorry for you. This life has only so many holidays in store and you don't want to waste another second with this guy.

Really sorry you're being treated in this way.That's a really shitty way to speak to you/treat you.What a horrible person he is!
If you've been in the relationship a while and he's been chipping away at your self esteem you'll need to be kind to yourself and build yourself up.Bin him....Take care of yourself OP You are worth so much more! 💌🫂

Really sorry you're being treated in this way.That's a really shitty way to speak to /treat you.What a horrible person he is!
If you've been in the relationship a while and he's been chipping away at your self esteem you'll need to be kind to yourself and build yourself up.Bin him and take care of yourself OP. You are worth and deserve so much more!💌🫂

What an arsehole.

Criticised your weight, dress sense and attractiveness, comparing you to other women, making snide remarks basically suggesting you're not good enough for him and shows zero care for you being in pain. Also doesn't get that women have periods.

He does not like, love or respect you.

So what keeps you with him?

Seriously. What EXACTLY does he bring to the party?

What did he mean by "punching"?

Jesus, you're not being oversensitive, he's bullying you. Leave him. Nobody should talk to you like that, let alone someone who is supposed to love you.

He is 'angin'

Id dump him based on his angin comment alone. One reason being is that he's actually a stupid person, he's actually not intelligent in the slightest to say that about a period.

But the way he's made you feel on holiday- that's awful. A caring person who was in any way worried about your weight for your health would sit you down in the comfort of your home and sensitively speak to you about how they can help you be healthier (sometimes we need a little help and that's ok!) but this is NOT what is happening here. He's not worried about your health, he prefers other women's style and figure and thinks that he's too good for you.

DUMP HIM

He sounds like a prize wanker! He is clearly having a problem with your weight, whatever that is. The fact that he added the caveat that he was mentioning your diet “for your sake” and for your health was just avoidance in order for you not to realise quite how much he was actually expressing his own views. And regarding the fact that he wonders whether one of you is punching above their weight, well clearly he thinks it’s him! I think you need to reevaluate your relationship with this man as he’s going to grind you down. I’m sorry for you.

This is clear-cut emotional abuse. It isn’t likely to get any better, and may well get worse. It will be hard after the damage he has done to your confidence, but get out and find someone more deserving of your love. Every single one of those things you mentioned is a dumpable offence, so you’re definitely not over-sensitive. That’s what he wants you to think. Men like this probably have low self-esteem themselves, and they’re afraid of losing you so they want to drag you down as well. Deep down he knows he’s not worthy, and he is right. Don’t waste any more of your time on him.

“Punching above your weight” - a metaphor from boxing. It’s used when someone is dating someone “objectively” more attractive than they are. So “you’re punching” means “your partner is much better looking than you”. In this case, based on his negative comments about her appearance, he clearly thinks she is the one punching, because he thinks others will think he is the better looking partner. However based on the evidence we have of his personality, he’s very wrong!

Lots of tough love for the OP, needed but probably hard to hear and easier to bury head in sand. I do agree with everyone saying leave the man (boy!)
but lots of women just don’t leave. It’s easier (in their mind) to stay. As they have no comfortable way out/income etc. OP. I would seriously suggest becoming as independent as you can financially/turn to parents for help etc and just be without this awful man. You’re young and still have the chance to meet someone else/get a fabulous career etc etc. fulfil yourself. This man will never do that. Leaving him will be so liberating!
all the best