Someone’s been in my bedroom

[Hakunamatoto]

This isn’t really an AIBU but I didn’t know where to put it. Sorry.

Just back from a long weekend away tonight. Kids are on holiday with my ex-DH so the house was empty. Neighbour had a key to feed the cat.

Someone’s been in my bedroom. The bed has clearly been sat on, and there are things out of place in my bedside drawer, my knicker drawer and my desk.

I’m absolutely mortified and feel violated. There are things in my drawers that are extremely private. I don’t know what to do. Nothing is missing that I can see (there was a £50 in cash in the drawer by my bed so that would’ve been easily visible). The only other person with a key to my house is my mum (and ex-DU but he is abroad with DCs). Neighbour is more of a friend than just a neighbour. I’m trying to think of an innocent explanation or rationalising it as just cheeky nosiness. But the thought of someone rifling through my private things is horrible.

Probs the neighbour then! Does neighbour have any family who may have done cat duties on their behalf?

Do you rent? If so it's your creepy landlord

Also look up phrogging. And check the loft.

This is awful! First stop, neighbour. I hope you get to the bottom of it.

What is phrogging? <<scared to Google>>

Aww god this is awful OP. I know neighbour is a friend ,but could you call their bluff and tell them you think someone has been in / there's money missing (lie) . Just ask if they saw anything before you ring the police.
Fwiw - I personally would just come out and ask them , but I appreciate not everyone is like that.
I hope you find out what happened.

Have you any cameras to see if anyone other than neighbour?

Double check that your mums not been round (does it sound like something she’d do?), then text neighbour thanks so much for feeding the cat and add ‘by the way what happened upstairs?!’ No context, no explanation. They’ll reply ‘what do you mean?’. Don’t reply, let them sweat over it. They’ll confess or they’ll avoid you, either way it gives you an answer. I’d bet money it was the neighbour, highly unlikely to be an intruder or something more nefarious.

Neighbour/friend and your mum have keys. One or both of them did it.

Don’t do it. I won’t be sleeping tonight 😂

OP if this was me, it would 100% be my mum.

@StormingNorman give us a clue! I'm curious but I'm too scared to Google - the Savernake Forest story still lives in my head rent free 😂

Ugh now I’m too scared to google two things…what’s the saversnake forest?!

Are you sure you left it as you think you did? You didn’t sit on the bed last minute to get stuff out?

It seems pretty clear that one of the people who has a key is responsible. You just need to work out which of them it is.

@Devonshiregal it's a true story that did the rounds on here years ago, really creepy. Google 'savernake forest Mumsnet ' (tomorrow, in the daylight!) and click on the third one down and someone has re-posted it. It still gives me the shudders

Phrogging is someone living in your house without you knowing about it, like in the loft.

Set up a sting.

Ohhhh no 😟

Just as I read this my 9 month old sighed in her sleep. Scared the living daylights out of me 🤦🏼‍♀️

Awww god noooo😱...I wish I hadnt read this! Well, in the words of Nick Ross - 'Don't have nightmares,do sleep well' 😬

Urrgh. That's a horrible feeling. I'd change the lock (order replacement cylinder from Amazon and do it myself). I'm guessing you don't have a ring type doorbell?

That's why I have cameras.

Exactly.

poor you op. I’d have to talk to both of them, let them know someone else also has a key so as to allow them to save face/not seem like you’re accusing them and just tell them how freaked out you are. You might get an inkling of who it is even if they both deny
whatever you’ve got in your underwear drawer, if it’s just a vibrator or something like that, please don’t feel ashamed. Going through somebody else’s stuff is absolutely dreadful, that’s the shameful thing.
The fact that they’ve moved things and not tried to hide is weird,

That is awful. I never leave anyone with a key.

My friend’s mother in law is nosey, and she used to go through their drawers. Having had enough, my friend left a note in her knicker drawer that said, “Fuck Off from being nosey, Carol, you are on our cameras” and since then the drawers remain closed.