Someone’s been in my bedroom

[Hakunamatoto]

This isn’t really an AIBU but I didn’t know where to put it. Sorry.

Just back from a long weekend away tonight. Kids are on holiday with my ex-DH so the house was empty. Neighbour had a key to feed the cat.

Someone’s been in my bedroom. The bed has clearly been sat on, and there are things out of place in my bedside drawer, my knicker drawer and my desk.

I’m absolutely mortified and feel violated. There are things in my drawers that are extremely private. I don’t know what to do. Nothing is missing that I can see (there was a £50 in cash in the drawer by my bed so that would’ve been easily visible). The only other person with a key to my house is my mum (and ex-DU but he is abroad with DCs). Neighbour is more of a friend than just a neighbour. I’m trying to think of an innocent explanation or rationalising it as just cheeky nosiness. But the thought of someone rifling through my private things is horrible.

I feed my neighbours cats, and I have to go into the bedrooms, because the neighbour often wants to know if the cats are home. They often sleep in the bedroom, so I have to go and check. That wouldn't explain drawers being opened though.

Oh that would really unnerve me too!
I'd firstly mention it to your mum and ask her if she'd been in your bedroom. If she hasn't, I'd have to ask the neighbour.

Me too. Terrified!

Go away again but leave a camera

OMFG 😱

@ThisIsWhatIDo yes! Awful! 😂

My husbands sister done this. We put locks on out doors and when she baby sat we locked all doors to rooms she didn't need into.
CF

She left her big ass prints at each side of my bed where she sat down for a nosey through our drawers.
It makes me so mad

Change the locks and use a cattery next time. Def your neighbour/friend was having a nosy!

Yes, I can see a scenario where neighbour has gone upstairs and stroked the cat on the bed or something. That’s fine. But not the drawers. The other, less ‘interesting’ drawers aren’t touched either.

Someone else mentioned neighbour’s husband. That’s such a disgusting thought.

I’m second guessing myself now. Obviously I packed knickers. I also took a couple of things from my bedside drawer. But I packed the night before and will always leave things neat. Argh.

Change the locks, and see who mentions it to you first!

A bedroom lock will solve the problem for the future. But won't remove the not knowing.

I'd stop it from happening and say if asked that the cat messed up in there and needs to be kept out.

And forget about it.I imagine this will happen to a very high proportion of people who ask neighbours to pop in, whilst on holiday. People are nosey.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/3484225-Savernake-forest

Just Googled.. some scary stuff 😳

Ask your mum if she popped round while you were away.

This

My partner's neighbour feeds his cat when he's away. She lets her children go upstairs and into the bedrooms (one time he closed all the bedroom doors and when he got home they were open). Very annoying/nosey. Far worse for adults to do it though- they should know better.

I'm impressed you know someone has been through your drawers. Mine aren't tidy enough for that.

First thought for me also was neighbours husband

If they are friends I would say to the wife .

Virtually nobody needs an internal CCTV system "for safety". And unless someone is watching the CCTV at all times how does it keep you safe?

It seems a bit like overkill to have cctv!
I know you're a neat and organised person OP - so am I! However, we do occasionally err, especially in the stress of going away on holiday. There's been no harm done, I wouldn't fret about it.

Ugh. This happened to me once. Neighbour alleged that she'd sent her teen daughter over to feed the cat, daughter had mislaid the key in the house then panicked and searched through all the drawers looking for another spare before she found the mislaid key in her pocket. Hmm.
Didn't ask her to cat sit again.

My mum was tasked with feeding the neighbours cat around 5 years ago and she said she couldn't find it so went upstairs one day and the drawers in the bedroom were open so she closed them and just assumed it was the neighbours cleaners who had also been in whilst she was away. When the neighbour came back she mentioned it to the neighbour and the neighbour basically said 'the cleaners don't go in my bedroom' and made out that my mum had been the one up there and that something was missing. Neighbour recently asked mum to go and do feeds again, mum had to say no, sorry you'll have to pay petpals or someone as I felt like I'd been accused of things I hadn't done.

A Blink camera costs £20 and can be placed discretely behind some books or on the top of a wardrobe etc. It's not a lot of money, I'd opt for this. At worst you record unnecessarily, at best you catch the culprit.

When you gave your neighbour the key to your house, did it not occur to you that she might go snooping around? Presumably the doors don't lock?
I think if it had been me, I would have left some sort of booby trap, such as a mouse trap in the drawer.

I asked a friend to pick up post etc when we were away some time ago. She told me that she had brought her husband up and showed him round my house. She obviously thought it was fine.

I regularly feed my neighbours cats. I walk through their utility room to the kitchen, feed the cats and then leave. I wouldn't even go into their sitting room.