Someone’s been in my bedroom

[Hakunamatoto]

This isn’t really an AIBU but I didn’t know where to put it. Sorry.

Just back from a long weekend away tonight. Kids are on holiday with my ex-DH so the house was empty. Neighbour had a key to feed the cat.

Someone’s been in my bedroom. The bed has clearly been sat on, and there are things out of place in my bedside drawer, my knicker drawer and my desk.

I’m absolutely mortified and feel violated. There are things in my drawers that are extremely private. I don’t know what to do. Nothing is missing that I can see (there was a £50 in cash in the drawer by my bed so that would’ve been easily visible). The only other person with a key to my house is my mum (and ex-DU but he is abroad with DCs). Neighbour is more of a friend than just a neighbour. I’m trying to think of an innocent explanation or rationalising it as just cheeky nosiness. But the thought of someone rifling through my private things is horrible.

It’s not a true story.

For peace of mind is it worth looking at an internal CCTV system? And casually tell others you are putting it in for your personal safety? Maybe this sounds extreme, but if you are uncomfortable as you sound it nay be worth it. You don’t need anything technically complex.

@Hakunamatoto My old next door neighbour had a pet that a long term neighbour used to always feed.

I would sometimes notice when neighbour came in.

{The pet was outside}

To properly feed and change pet's water bowls and clean up the occasional poo would have taken no time at all.

But I was aware that the neighbour would sometimes spend absolutely ages in my Next door neighbour's house.

After neighbours got back, It came up in conversation about the other neighbour being ages in their house...

Neighbours said ''No! We thought stuff had been moved in drawers''..........

After that they stopped asking neighb to look after their pet- I did it instead as could easily hop over the garden wall, and didn't need a key.

It's shocking how nosey some people can be.

It’s not worth it, it’s like someone testing out their dodgy horror story writing story skills.

Hope you find out who the culprit is OP, horrible that someone could violate your personal space like that.

Maybe nothing happened. No-one was in there. The OP just didn't quite leave it as she remembered.

Nosey people don't just snoop once and arguably a relative has more motivation to snoop than a neighbour. Maybe OP knows her mum well enough to be sure it's not her but I wouldn't give all mums an automatic pass.

Did the ex and kids leave for holiday before you did @Hakunamatoto? If not my order of suspicion would be him, one of the kids, neighbour, mum. I'd not consider someone living in the loft

I'd be asking neighbour if they saw anything odd (too socially awkward to confront directly) and let them know what you'd noticed in the hopes they'd fess up.

Have to say though I'm impressed at you remembering exactly what your room looked like before you left. I'd have no idea.

I'm going against the flow a bit here, but I think if your neighbour had been snooping, she/he would have covered their tracks better? Knowing that they should not be in there?
I am thinking more likely to be your Mum, who although she shouldn't be there, might feel more entitled to be in your bedroom, and not think of covering her tracks.
Surely your neighbour would not give the key to another person to cover for her?
I'd ask the neighbour if she has seen your Mum around.

This. See my post above. Maybe no-one had been in at all.

I wondered that.

Savernake Forest, right down to the creepy name, reads as being the work of a professional writer. Regular folks don’t have the vocabulary of “sinuous” terror and a “commanding voice” and then the symbolism of three Black labs and a puppy.

Neighbour brought boyfriend along and while she was feeding the cat he had a nosy upstairs

Don't suppose your Mum wanted to borrow something from you and didn't want to trouble you while you were away.

If it was just the bed that was sat on though, I'd have immediately said someone was pampering your cat on the bed!

You have just said neighbour. Is neighbour a man or a woman?

😆

*consider. Grr too late to edit.

Thanks everyone. I’ve been asleep, hence no replies!

I am anal to the point of amusing the DCs about neatness in my bedroom. If it’s not a right angle, it’s a wrong angle! Even in drawers. So I’m absolutely certain that something’s gone on. It’s not that they haven’t covered their tracks, just that I can see things have changed slightly.

i would also be amazed if I’d left the bed like that as I always make it as the very last thing I do before leaving the room (I am exceptionally boring with my routine, I know!).

I suppose the cat could’ve come in. That would explain the bed and desk (world’s cheapest dressing table!). But unless I have an extremely clever cat it wouldn’t explain the drawers.

I don’t have cameras.

I don’t think the locks need changing. Neighbour returns the key each time I go away, so doesn’t have her own. She does have a DH and kids, and I’ve never asked which of them actually comes over to feed the cat.

I don’t know about mentioning it. Honestly the thought of them snooping makes me so embarrassed and upset. I suppose I can imagine how common it is, but I’d never violate someone’s personal space and snoop like that. It’s literally the most private space I have. Why not rifle through the bookcase downstairs, or my kitchen cupboards?!

It's a bit of a silly suggestion, but couldn't it
have been the cat on the bed?
Not saying he could open drawers, however, my neighbour's cat is extremely nosey/curious
and a clever bugger, many times I found him upstairs or in the garage, sometimes he quietly walks in on us, goes through the whole house, looks at husband in bed in the morning and quietly disappears again like a smell.
😐

Ha, missed your last update!

When I cat-sit for my friend she makes it known that she wishes me to stay as long as I can to give cat a fuss and generally be with him. As the cat often slept on her bed, I would often sit beside him and stroke / play with him as appropriate.

I leave her knickers well alone of course. But I might sometimes leave a slight impression on the bed… (mind you, so does the cat!)

Seeing your latest update it's absolutely a case of you left it a little messier than normal and the cat was sat on your bed

Why not rifle through the bookcase downstairs, or my kitchen cupboards?!

Because the bookcase it open and can't be rifled through - you can SEE the books, and who is interested in how many egg-whisks you have?? "Oooh John, you should have seen how many non stick pans Margery next door has! Shocking! Who would have thought it of her?!" said no-one, ever.

Personally I would change the locks and not allow them back next time, can you afford to use a cat kennel instead for your next holiday?

I wouldn't bother second-guessing yourself, I think you know someone has been in there as you are very tidy.

It is a very big violation and it is understandable if this has upset you a lot.

Neighbour's husband used the key.

Hope he washed the knickers afterwards.