Someone’s been in my bedroom

[Hakunamatoto]

This isn’t really an AIBU but I didn’t know where to put it. Sorry.

Just back from a long weekend away tonight. Kids are on holiday with my ex-DH so the house was empty. Neighbour had a key to feed the cat.

Someone’s been in my bedroom. The bed has clearly been sat on, and there are things out of place in my bedside drawer, my knicker drawer and my desk.

I’m absolutely mortified and feel violated. There are things in my drawers that are extremely private. I don’t know what to do. Nothing is missing that I can see (there was a £50 in cash in the drawer by my bed so that would’ve been easily visible). The only other person with a key to my house is my mum (and ex-DU but he is abroad with DCs). Neighbour is more of a friend than just a neighbour. I’m trying to think of an innocent explanation or rationalising it as just cheeky nosiness. But the thought of someone rifling through my private things is horrible.

OP are your desk drawers and knicker drawer ikea malm style opening? Our cat has worked out how to open drawers by putting her paws on the top of the drawer and scooting her body backwards. We couldn’t understand how drawers kept opening from time to time until we saw the cat in action! It got to the stage of us thinking someone had been into a room etc. No it was the cat! We actually have two cats and only one is clever enough to open drawers, but she only chooses to do it very occasionally. Cats also hop up on our desk and move papers and pens etc, when they are walking across it.

Text neighbour to say that there was a break-in whilst you were away - bedroom disturbed etc but should be fingerprints- and you are reporting it to the Police and is it ok if you pass on their details to eliminate them from their enquiry. See what they say.

I’m more concerned about your financial paperwork as that will have account numbers on etc. sign up to credit check agencies to check nothing has been taken out in your name.

close your bedroom door so the cat won’t gum have gone in there. We close all the doors when we go away so cat has access to outside and her sleeping area.

you don’t have to install cameras permanently but you can get one of those nanny cam bears and position it to have a good view of the room. If it’s motion activated then you would get an alert. Some you can talk through so you could say something like
aren’t you a naughty boy
or god is watching you
wait til their hand is in the drawer 😂

then you can just take the batteries out of camera when you don’t need it.

Thanks. I’d be flabbergasted if it was a cat. I can see how a cat could shuffle papers about on a desk, or knock over make-up or whatever. But my kicker drawer is unreachable given paw-length, and the bedside drawer is a bit stiff so would take more strength to open than a cat has.

It was either a human or a passing chimpanzee. I like to imagine it was the chimp, as this is more fun than the likely alternative. But I’ll concede that it’s unlikely.

If it was him, it sounds more like it was opportunistic and nosey, rather than ongoing long term behaviour. He had an "excuse" for being there in a way, which he wouldn't normally have.

I think if you take precautions and keep a weather eye out, there is little chance of it happening again. And more chance of you catching any untoward behaviour because your suspicions are roused.

So having done that, horrid as it has been, I think the feeling will go away after a while.

You'd rather it was a chimp OP? You haven't read Murders in the Rue Morgue, have you?!

I reluctantly fed my friend's cats whilst she was away - I'm not really into cats - and she had 5! Anyway they all looked pretty similar to me and it was a one bed flat. The cats were house cats and were meant to be in the lounge or kitchen. The door to the bedroom was closed. It was difficult to keep count of them as they liked to hide. After a couple of days I realised there were only 4! I looked everywhere and then decided to open the bedroom door. The room was a total mess and I've never seen a cat move so fast. She asked me again last week and I said no!

My parents are going away for a month next week and have asked me to water the plants, take the post from behind the door etc. I haven't done this before as my brother was always there. He died unexpectedly this year and I agreed that I'd check the house for them. Anyway dm then said she hoped I wouldn't rummage! It actually upset me as I don't think I've given her call to expect me to do that. And she keeps saying how much she trusts me, we've got no secrets everything is yours ( I'm an only child now) etc.

I suppose you could ask the neighbour who fed the cat, say a colleague saw a man going into your house and see what she says. If she says ‘no it was me’ then you can just say colleague must have go the house wrong, you hope, ha ha. If she says it was the husband then it light have been him. Ugh.

Husband definitely went in the house. I asked a few days back if they’d both done the feeding and neighbour said yes. He’s the main suspect in the crime I’ve dubbed Drawer-gate.
My friend came over last night and I was telling her about it. Apparently the same kind of thing happened to her some years ago. Maybe I should start a business selling armour-clad underwear drawers.

When I win the lottery (Tuesday hopefully) and plan my move to my big new house in the country[1], my knicker draw is the only bit I'm packing and taking myself.
Norra chance I'm having anyone root through that even if it is for packing.

[1] https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/86902353#/
Is this weeks preference, but I pick a new one nearly ever week.

YABU because you are very naive.

It's a well known fact that a lot of men and women are nosey snoopers.

Just because you're not, why would you judge people by your own standards?

Why on earth didn't you make the effort to hide your personal/private belongings?

Fot the record, I'm not a snooper. I'm simply not interested in other people's stuff and never would do that, also out of respect for them.