Furious with DD's swimwear

[FFSTeenagers]

Someone talk me down please!

On holiday with elderly parents and elderly in-laws - wonderful people. 15 yr old DD has emerged from her room to go to the pool in 5he smallest of bikinis. I can almost see her vagina.

I feel fucking ancient saying this. I hate myself for even feeling like this but she has zero modesty.

I bought her 3 bikinis (together - we went together) from Roxy and Next - lovely ones. Not one has arrived and instead she has bought, without my knowledge, 4 from shein that are not for her curvy build. Barely any material and I'm really embarrassed.

Confronting her has gone downhill rapidly and she's claiming that I'm hardly a feminist as 'she should be able to wear what she likes as it's her body'. She's not bloody wrong but what the hell happened to my daughter's modesty.

My parents and in-laws are sensing the atmosphere already and we only arrived an hour ago.

AIBU?

I completely agree.

Yup.

I’m afraid to say it’s from Shein

Don’t judge me haha!! She orders stuff herself with her pocket money/birthday money…

Not judging @Rainydayinlondon 😊 DD also has bought stuff from Shein but they all fell apart so now she has moved on to H and M.. It doesn't look like Shein though. Looks pretty classy.

As long as you CAN'T see her boobs/vagina/bum hole, there's no point in getting worked up about it. Teens gonna teen. We all went there ourselves.

My DD and friends also roll up school skirts and the school seems to let them get away with it. I’m not sure whether it’s because think they’re working hard so pick their battles 🤷‍♀️
However the unwritten rule amongst all of the girls is that they wear cycling shorts underneath!

That's what I would have thought. And was trying to say.

Super Confident/less confident / not confident might were any sort of swim wear, from burkini to bikini.

But you'd need to be super confident would be seen in a micro bikini

Some schools changed policy so that black opaque tights are mandatory. Too hot in summer both those who can't dress correctly as usual ruin it for everyone else.

Actually we didn't.

Speak for yourself. I wouldn't ever have worn something that distasteful and reveallimg at any age.

She's 15. I wouldn't be happy with this either OP.

I was a teen I the 90s and channeled the 60s miniskirt Twiggy aesthetic all through secondary school albeit with thick tights for decades.

One thing I would never ever have done is wear bikini bottoms that didn't properly cover me up, partly because I have quite a pouchy fanny area which needs an adequate amount of material to avoid flange exposure.

I'm sorry but any teenager wishing to show this area in public has not been parented properly and you can flame me as much as you like but it's my strong view.

Gross. My daughters haven’t ‘teened’ this way.

Honestly I'm agog at some of these replies from clearly cooler moms. Those saying it's fine . Is there any cut off age that's in appropriate? Is 13 ok for example?

No my 15 year old would not be wearing that in public.

Indeed! But the thing that struck me most about this is that the girl deliberately and blatantly disregarded the bikinis they bought together, thereby disobeying her mother.
Call me old-fashioned (and some probably will!) but at 15 I would never have dared to defy my mother in this way. I would have suffered the silent treatment for weeks!
When I was that age, it was expected that parents were the bosses. You could argue your case, but only up to a point and as for doing what this girl did? Well, I wouldn’t have dared!

eh?????

Yeah you go girl... use those feminist rights to justify making yourself look like a porn star/ sex object.

Shein are a scourge on this world on so many levels. Peel back the layers and you'll probably find a boardroom of sleazy men all wanking themselves off over their company's content.

Disclaimer - I have no idea who is on the board of Shein and I expect there is a woman in there. It was a mental image from seeing the kinds of things they sell.

I don't think you're being unreasonable either OP.

What she's bought is inappropriate a. because she's 15 and b. because she's on a family holiday.

Yes, teens are going to teen. Therefore parents' job is to parent and put in place the boundary that the teen is too immature to put in place for themselves. The teen doesn't have to like it.

Teenagers disobeying their parents?! Oh no, that would never have happened in 19xx. 😂

Exactly. My mother didn’t get involved in what I won but then the clothes weren’t as hyper sexualised. I did wear showing suspenders over a super short skirt and laddered stockings as I was a goth. Never got leered at in that get up. But then I was usually wearing the suspender belt with a long coat.

Why do people keep talking about this poor girl's 'vagina' - which cannot be seen - when they mean 'vulva'?

Op, I am sure your daughter's bits were adequately covered if not sufficiently for your or your father's tastes. I daresay there are other girls and women around and in the pool wearing the same or maybe even less. She probably looks great! Women go topless on holiday, have done so for years; women breast feed in company now. It is 2024, the girl has done nothing wrong.

Did you not RTFT?

Your fellow "vulva" police were out many hundreds of posts ago. Arrests were made, charges followed and people have been bailed.

You're extremely late to the poolside party.

Why do people keep talking about this poor girl's 'vagina' - which cannot be seen - when they mean 'vulva'?

Yawn. RTFT.

but at 15 I would never have dared to defy my mother in this way.

Bloody hell, I would have and did. It's not exactly a rare scenario in any era.

I would have suffered the silent treatment for weeks!

Although that's a terrible technique to use, it would probably suit a lot of teens. Don't like what Mum is saying, well disobey her and she'll shut up.

You know what I love most about Back to the Future? How it shows that your parents absolutely insist that they never did anything like this at your age, but...

This thread is wild in places, isn't it?

We've had grandad called a paedo/pervert and been told he shouldn't even notice what his GD is wearing right in front of him.

Then, not may posts later, an MNer said she'd seen 'many vulvas' on display when young girls in tiny bikinis were moving around beside the pool and not one person questioned why that poster was looking at them.

We've also gone full circle on feminism, patriarchy, porn culture, Love Island and being 'confident' all to blame for girls' beachwear choices.