Furious with DD's swimwear

[FFSTeenagers]

Someone talk me down please!

On holiday with elderly parents and elderly in-laws - wonderful people. 15 yr old DD has emerged from her room to go to the pool in 5he smallest of bikinis. I can almost see her vagina.

I feel fucking ancient saying this. I hate myself for even feeling like this but she has zero modesty.

I bought her 3 bikinis (together - we went together) from Roxy and Next - lovely ones. Not one has arrived and instead she has bought, without my knowledge, 4 from shein that are not for her curvy build. Barely any material and I'm really embarrassed.

Confronting her has gone downhill rapidly and she's claiming that I'm hardly a feminist as 'she should be able to wear what she likes as it's her body'. She's not bloody wrong but what the hell happened to my daughter's modesty.

My parents and in-laws are sensing the atmosphere already and we only arrived an hour ago.

AIBU?

As long as they are covering her private parts I'd leave her be. If she deliberately didn't take the bikinis those would be getting returned.

I hope she has no plans to use the slides....

If you notice anyone perving on her say LOUDLY SHE'S 15

I would also be tempted to take lots of holiday snaps including her in her dental floss bikinis in awkward positions. Really lean into it. Everything's fine, lovely holiday snaps! Then I would put together an album of large prints including the most unflattering shots of her, and leave it lying around

Jesus christ! How horrible @Uppity7

Leave her be, doing anything else will create atmosphere and you can hardly force her into swimwear you approve of.

Even I don’t like the swim stuff in next.

It can’t be that bad. Worst case it’s what’s a tight thong bikini bottom and a tiny triangle top.

Pretty sure they where almost standard at one point maybe not thong but the triangle bikinis.

Also noticed most celebs/influenzer types seem to be wearing the tops on purpose too small to almost as nipple covers 🤣 it’s todays fashion.

Yeah, fair play, it is pretty horrible and I wouldn't actually do it. But if I was fuming about my daughter wandering around with her bum out in front of her grandparents then I think it might be one of my revenge fantasies!

I agree with doing this but if the bikini is revealing as much as the OP says the daughter must be aware and she doesn't care or she wants attention.

That would involve skinny-dipping though. Arguably more tasteful than sweatshop bikinis. But OP lost me too at "see her vagina" - what, did granny bring a speculum?

You'd enjoy making your teenage daughter feel like shit about her body? Perhaps you don't have a teenage daughter.

Regardless of how she looks in the bikini, I think you REALLY need to pick your battles - both timing and topic. What is the benefit of setting this off right from the start of a family holiday? You are setting the tone/rising to the bait immediately.

Unfortunately I really think it is a pointless battle to choose. By the sounds of it she doesn't have an alternative and so what's the choice? She never goes in pool/sunbathes?

Presumably she'll either be in the pool or lying down the majority of the time. Just let her get on with it.

So I just went on shien. I searched in the thong micro bra bikinis.

Not a vagina or vulva or areola to be seen.

some actually nice swimwear tbh 🤷🏻‍♀️ I couldn’t pull it off but didn’t see anything offensive.

And this is how to give a teenager an eating disorder 🤦‍♀️

Is the practical angle worth pointing out eg if she will miss out on slides or not be able to swim in the bikinis.

Nonsense - she's a size 6 but has developed hips and breasts. Curvy is curvy. If I thought she was overweight I would say so.

We bought the bikinis together! And she's conveniently left them at home. The Shein ones she's chosen are for girls who are smaller again and with different build. The bikini is literally a pair of triangles that cover an inch around her nipples (FFS i hate even typing this) and the same tiny triangles for her vaginal area. I can see nearly everything

And yea I feel fucking prudish writing this but it's way too revealing for a 15 yr old.

I really really hope they don't have a daughter

Thanks. I was starting to feel that it's me being U.

I love her to the end of the earth but I wish she'd be more modest.

Would you think her bikinis were OK if she was less "curvy"?

If you don't want to her to wear them, I suggest you and both grandmothers borrow her spares.

Fucking hell Im hardly body shaming her.

There are some very skimpy bikinis on the Shein website that I would feel worried about a fifteen year old wearing as they seem so adult, and also very impractical for anyone intending to swim rather than just pose in. And fifteen seems so young, I'd want her to be having fun in the pool and relaxing which seems difficult if so scantily clad that one false move is going to flash more than intended.

But the references to modesty and curves in the OP feel very jarring. I don't think modesty is a desirable quality, and I think anyone of whatever size and shape can wear what swimwear they like - no one is obliged to wear something considered 'flattering' if they don't want to.

So, if it's like some of the bikinis I've just seen on the website, I wouldn't really like to see anyone in them and I think they're a terrible quality and unethical purchase that will be totally impractical for the holiday plus potentially resulting in some very nasty sunburn if she's not careful.

But it is so hard being a teenage girl and with the pressure of social media, even worse now than it was for us. I feel sympathetic to her making a bad choice and wanting to look grown up and glamorous.

I've tried and it's ended badly!
She's stormed into her room and my 85 yr old sweetheart of a dad has said that he won't sit by the pool.

Buy her an emergency swimming costume from a shop by the Beach. One of those ones with Ariel and Flounder from the Little Mermaid ought do it. She'll love it. But some arm bands too.

Joking. I don't know what you can say, but best not to let it ruin the holiday.

Did you give her a choice of where to buy the bikini from or just took her to Next (not exactly a teenagers first choice of shopping)? And unless you’re a gynaecologist (unlikely as you seem to not actually understand female anatomy) I doubt very much you can see ‘everything’.

Helpful.

I would also be tempted to take lots of holiday snaps including her in her dental floss bikinis in awkward positions. Really lean into it. Everything's fine, lovely holiday snaps! Then I would put together an album of large prints including the most unflattering shots of her, and leave it lying around. But then I have a bitchy side.

What the fuck is wrong with you?! @Uppity7