Furious with DD's swimwear

[FFSTeenagers]

Someone talk me down please!

On holiday with elderly parents and elderly in-laws - wonderful people. 15 yr old DD has emerged from her room to go to the pool in 5he smallest of bikinis. I can almost see her vagina.

I feel fucking ancient saying this. I hate myself for even feeling like this but she has zero modesty.

I bought her 3 bikinis (together - we went together) from Roxy and Next - lovely ones. Not one has arrived and instead she has bought, without my knowledge, 4 from shein that are not for her curvy build. Barely any material and I'm really embarrassed.

Confronting her has gone downhill rapidly and she's claiming that I'm hardly a feminist as 'she should be able to wear what she likes as it's her body'. She's not bloody wrong but what the hell happened to my daughter's modesty.

My parents and in-laws are sensing the atmosphere already and we only arrived an hour ago.

AIBU?

This!!! 🫡

i missed the 85 year old who can’t avert his eyes from his teen granddaughter threw down an ultimatum

That is far far more gross than anything else in this scenario

Boot on the other foot... If grandad was in a budgie smuggling thong, maybe DD should just avert her eyes and stop feeling all sexual?

No - he's not feeling sexual, he's feeling uncomfortable because it's inappropriate! It's a normal response.

What are you on about?

Nobody can fail to notice how inappropriate it is.

Why shouldn't Grandad be upset with his granddaughter being exploited by this ridiculous pornification that's going on?

What the fuck!!!
Make sure you curtail your behaviour and confidence because of what perves might be thinking???

People on this thread have said OPs daughter is a confident feminist for having her arse out.

Its a common argument for people following misogynistic man-pleasing trends to say it is feminist for them to make these choices.

I don’t regard it as freedom for women to have pushed onto them the idea that wearing clothes that display their whole arse, or that they have to have a certain body type, or spend a fortune freezing time on their face, or choosing to be straggled and spat on in bed. I don’t regard any of that as freedom, or a ‘free’ choice, I regard it as a patriarchal culture putting pressures and expectations on women that it doesn’t put on men.

The same as western converts to Islam, I have heard them angrily defending their wearing of the face veil as their choice. My stance is the inequality comes in them being asked to make that choice when men are not. I regard that as the same issue here, with arse out bikinis.

oh i agree it’s inappropriate

the entire family sounds fucked up to me

The OP spending the entire day on her phone on her first day of her family holiday and ending up tearful about the thread at the end of the day

the 15 year old not giving a shit

sad finally the 85 year old grandfather throwing down an ultimar that he won’t joke them at the pool if she doesn’t change

oh and the weird non-presence of the Op’s husband in the entire shit show

If you weren't confident in how good your arse looked you wouldn't be putting it on show.

People who aren't confident in how they look cover up.

Yeah go on, blame the victims of pornifcation for this.

Shein's profit margins thank you for your loyalty to the cause.

Why not go down the route that she doesn't look fantastic? That what she actually looks like is a sexualised, pornified teenager?

Why - cos her mum has told her off one time??

Oh I wondered how long it would be before the fucking ‘vulva’ police would be along.

Well said.

No, girls who are desperate to fit in, to prove themselves do this sort of thing.
The confident girls make a good judgement about how they are presenting themselves and what pressure is behind it. A brand for surfers sounds like body confidence, rather than a Shein teeny weeny.

*If you weren't confident in how good your arse looked you wouldn't be putting it on show.

People who aren't confident in how they look cover up.*

Bullshit, I love my figure, I'm a fucking goddess.

But I mostly wear full swimsuits because they're more practical and I don't need to be validated by anyone else. Thats actual body confidence, not the nonsense being spouted on this thread.

This. Exactly.

How many of you would not wear a one piece, and insist on a bikini? Is there really any need to show so much flesh?

if we look deeper into the societal roles when older women wore costumes, younger women and girls wore the more “daring” bikini. So now bikini’s are the norm the youngsters need to take it further.

maybe if we all went back to “modest” middle aged women swimwear there’s be less need for young girls to go that one step too far.

”modest” is relative. I personally don’t like bikinis as I often get a flash of too much flesh, regardless of age, and they are not practical for actually swimming or doing anything in. I don’t need to see adult women effectively in their bra and pants, especially down Solihull swimming baths, but accept it’s now the norm and focus on my own swimming.

huh

It's amazing how many people seem to be getting a collective Exhibitionistic disorder confused with confidence

I'd be concerned a camera could be lurking and it'll end up on the internet.

Does she want her fanny broadcast as a a meme across the ether for the rest of time? My mum would have skinned me alive at that age for less.

What @Life2Short4Nonsense said. She's pushing boundaries, she needs you to step in. "No way you are wearing this poor excuse of a bikini in front of our family, sorry DD." She's 15 not 18, you can enforce boundaries on what she wears and use your best judgment to give her freedom but save her from embarrassment/inappropriate clothing.

On the plus side, she seems comfortable in her body (I remember feeling v awkward at that age!) which is great!

Keep the confidence, ditch the bikini.

DD may even be planning to take selfies and upload them herself 🤦‍♀️

Yep bollocks.

i am that person in a rash vest and shorts. Not because I have no body confidence, but because I am Irish pale and at risk of skin cancer, and I don’t like sun cream.

at the swimming pool I wear a one piece as it’s impossible to swim properly in a bikini.

as I’ve just said I don’t actually like bikini’s at all. I don’t think they’re practical or flattering on many women.

I will probably have complaints about DDs' swimwear (18 and 15) when I go on holiday with the inlaws shortly. I'm just glad they are confident in their appearance.

It’s a bit of a leap to suggest that this girl wants to display “sexual availability” - maybe she just wants to wear the kind of bikini that’s all over social media and that her friends are probably wearing? Wouldn’t be my choice but each to their own.

Absolutely bizarre IMO to allow an elderly man any say in how she’s dressed - if he can’t avert his eyes from his own granddaughter that’s his issue. Let’s face it - you can still see what her body looks like in a more full coverage bikini; precisely how many additional inches of fabric would be required for Grandad to be happy? And would he ever have commented at all if OP hadn’t made it a huge drama?! By most pensioners’ standards, even a Roxy bikini would be skimpy, but it doesn’t mean people shouldn’t be allowed to wear them.