Furious with DD's swimwear

[FFSTeenagers]

Someone talk me down please!

On holiday with elderly parents and elderly in-laws - wonderful people. 15 yr old DD has emerged from her room to go to the pool in 5he smallest of bikinis. I can almost see her vagina.

I feel fucking ancient saying this. I hate myself for even feeling like this but she has zero modesty.

I bought her 3 bikinis (together - we went together) from Roxy and Next - lovely ones. Not one has arrived and instead she has bought, without my knowledge, 4 from shein that are not for her curvy build. Barely any material and I'm really embarrassed.

Confronting her has gone downhill rapidly and she's claiming that I'm hardly a feminist as 'she should be able to wear what she likes as it's her body'. She's not bloody wrong but what the hell happened to my daughter's modesty.

My parents and in-laws are sensing the atmosphere already and we only arrived an hour ago.

AIBU?

I absolutely wouldn't go down the 'you're a child and you wear what I say' route, because no 15-year-old would respond well to that

😂😂😂

bollocks.

Absolutely agree.

Of course! The only two options for beachwear are uncomfortable string bikinis or topless with baggy shorts 👍

That’s really nice and age appropriate for a 15 yr old school child. I honestly can’t see a mum saying choose one like that is being weirdly strict or conservative or body shaming her daughter.
The girl can actually swim in one like this too.

Well I’m technically elderly & a grandparent. I was a teenager in the 60s & 70s & wore incredibly short skirts & hot pants & skimpy bikinis from that age.
For goodness sake chill out. Nothing much embarrasses our generation, be proud of your daughter.

Really appalled and surprised at all the ‘if you are not revealing your arse it’s because you lack confidence.’

Why have so many women tied a belief in confidence to how their body looks? I’m confident in my body because it’s capable. I’m confident in my mind because of its capabilities. I’m confident of my personality because of how I treat others.

The idea that I would need to show a naked part of my body to the world to prove I have confidence is surely the definition of insanity.

Be proud of her daughter because she's choosing to wear a micro bikini?

I think that applies to most of us.

However to me, the way that teenagers are dressing is not like this. The explosion of free porn has much to answer for.

For example, have their skirts rolled up, as did I when I was at school, but they are also wearing thongs or no knickers at all with their school uniforms. Our secondary has the pleated kilts and when you roll them a bustle forms at the back.

I've got two dc in my primary school class who are collected by older siblings, each clutches the bottom of their skirt at the back as they wait.

Be proud because she wants to wear that product from Shein as opposed to something that she can swim in and relax in more freely?

Women really are their own worst enemies.

The type of bikini op is talking about may be popular right now but they are straight out of porn culture.

Wearing highly sexualised clothing like this is no more empowering or feminist than wearing a burka - both are designed around the needs/ wants of men in the prevailing culture. Nothing feminist or confident about it.

Nothing much embarrasses our generation, be proud of your daughter.

Proud of her minge?

It's that old thing about girls and women "being empowered" - funny how it doesn't apply to boys and men.

I don't think people want to go down the same road as the boomers.

And that empowerment often means behaving in a way that gratifies men.

Exactly.

Great post.

This is cute and also appropriate. Where is it from?

I also like the Adidas sporty bikini upthread, but my DD probably woudn't wear it. I would though!

@MyGladEagle Yay! Proud to be a boomer!
Still alive & kicking!!

Why has he said he won't sit by the pool? Is he sexualising his granddaughter's body, it is that just you?

Great.

But any explanation about why you think the OP should be proud of her fifteen year old leaving the three bikinis she bought before the holiday back in the UK and then wearing the micro bikini?

Absolutely this.

I find it odd when there are threads here where someone wants to wear a one piece swimsuit and is told no, wear a bikini, everyone does in [place] no matter what they look like, you'll look odd if you don't.

A confident person would wear their one piece even if every other woman on the beach had a bikini on, if it's what they actually want to wear. It's not about how much it covers, it's about how comfortable you feel in it and why you chose it. 'Because everyone else does' isn't a confident person's rationale for wearing something, revealing or not.

Why has he said he won't sit by the pool? Is he sexualising his granddaughter's body, it is that just you?

Maybe he's embarrassed as she looks daft. Some of those bikinis are preposterous whether the wearer is 15 or not.

Maybe the DD just needs to figure that out the hard way that micro bikinis aren't really designed for swimming in.

If Op digs her heels in too much their is a risk of the DD not leaving her room for 3 weeks and not going near the pool either.

I don't envy the Op trying to navigate this.

SAME! The poor kid.

Of all the many things I am proud of regarding my daughter, wearing a skimpy bikini would not make the cut. Madness.