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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He just turned up

373 replies

AmusedPearlSeal · 17/05/2024 20:02

I’ve got a bf of a year and a half, he never comes to mine. We live around a hour away, The last time he came to stay at mine was in December (that’s a whole other thread!)
Yesterday he asked me what my plans were for the evening, I said I was going for dinner with one of my friends and all our kids. We got home at 8.30.
At 10pm, I was busy doing something and saw something out of the corner of my eye and he’s standing there in my dining room to surprise me…it was very sweet but completely unannounced. After thinking about it today, I’ve been thinking maybe he just turned up to check up on me…how would others take this? He got up and left at 7am this morning.

OP posts:
catlady7 · 17/05/2024 20:03

Thats creepy AF

Blobblobblob · 17/05/2024 20:04

That's fucking weird and not OK

catlady7 · 17/05/2024 20:04

Sorry if that's sounds harsh. It would freak me out. Maybe watching too many thrillers 🙈

Arlanymor · 17/05/2024 20:06

Why did he leave at 7am if you only live an hour away? Why does he have a key to your property if he is never there?

It's not sweet, it's weird.

GrumpyPanda · 17/05/2024 20:06

He never comes to yours but he's got a key?

Nottherealslimshady · 17/05/2024 20:06

Fucking creepy as shit. Ditch him and change the locks just in case.

Guardiansoulmates · 17/05/2024 20:06

I wouldn't like it.

ChaChaChaChanges · 17/05/2024 20:07

How did he get in? How long was he there before you noticed?

jumpingjacksss · 17/05/2024 20:08

F

VisitationRights · 17/05/2024 20:08

Creepy. Controlling. I couldn’t be with someone like that.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 17/05/2024 20:08

WTF? That's serial killer/stalker territory.

How did he get in? How long had he been there? What else did he do and how many other times has he been there? Has he been in whilst you've been sleeping just to check up and because he can? What if you had been talking to a bloke - what would he have done then?

Jagley · 17/05/2024 20:08

Very creepy and sounds like he was checking up on you. I woke up about 2am once feeling like I was being watched, there was a man at my bedroom door and I couldn't see who in the dark, I screamed and turned out it was my then bf who said he wanted to get a work shirt he'd left at mine. I finished with him the next day as I couldn't trust him.

LIZS · 17/05/2024 20:09

Did he not believe you ? Weird behaviour at best, sinister and controlling otherwise.

FredsRoses · 17/05/2024 20:10

I'm afraid I totally disagree with PP's, I too think it was sweet. It sounds like he just wanted to surprise you, so called to check you were actually going to be there when he arrived. He found out you were going to dinner, so arrived at 10pm, rather than at 8.30pm, knowing that you would be out then. Nothing to worry about at all in my opinion OP.

Muffin101 · 17/05/2024 20:11

Very sweet?! On what planet?! He’s a weirdo.

Working528 · 17/05/2024 20:12

Depending on how he got into your house without your knowledge, I don't necessarily think it's creepy or controlling. He might just genuinely have been missing you and wanted to surprise you. I'm guessing he had to leave early for work? X

UpUpUpU · 17/05/2024 20:12

Knocking at the door, potentially sweet.
letting himself into your house, not ok!

NotSentFromIphone · 17/05/2024 20:12

That's creepy, has he hidden cameras to stalk you?

Get your locks changed (you lost your keys....) and don't give him a spare.

StormingNorman · 17/05/2024 20:14

He walked straight in? No. He’s not a regular in your home so he needs to knock or at least announce himself coming through the door.

Original poster
AmusedPearlSeal · 17/05/2024 20:14

The back door was unlocked, so he just came in. He doesn’t have a key to my house.

He had only just got there as my daughter was in the kitchen at the time and he knocked quietly on the window (scaring the life out of her!) to let her in.
We had just been on holiday together for 5 nights and had only spent one night apart since getting back, so it wasn’t like we hadn’t seen each other for a long time.

OP posts:
Original poster
AmusedPearlSeal · 17/05/2024 20:15

NotSentFromIphone · 17/05/2024 20:12

That's creepy, has he hidden cameras to stalk you?

Get your locks changed (you lost your keys....) and don't give him a spare.

My mum suggested this 😂

OP posts:
DrJonesIpresume · 17/05/2024 20:21

He came to check and see if you had another man there.

StMarieforme · 17/05/2024 20:45

FredsRoses · 17/05/2024 20:10

I'm afraid I totally disagree with PP's, I too think it was sweet. It sounds like he just wanted to surprise you, so called to check you were actually going to be there when he arrived. He found out you were going to dinner, so arrived at 10pm, rather than at 8.30pm, knowing that you would be out then. Nothing to worry about at all in my opinion OP.

Even tho he was IN HER HOUSE?!

Nope nope nope!

saveusername111 · 17/05/2024 20:48

@FredsRoses I agree!
I think he only called to check what you were up to, so he would know a rough time to surprise you? Maybe he just missed you? When DH and I were dating he would turn up all the time! I was forever grateful when I was finishing work late and he was sat outside to drive me home.

meganorks · 17/05/2024 21:01

No. You don't just turn up inside someone's house! Especially when they have kids and you just saw them!!