He just turned up

[AmusedPearlSeal]

I’ve got a bf of a year and a half, he never comes to mine. We live around a hour away, The last time he came to stay at mine was in December (that’s a whole other thread!)
Yesterday he asked me what my plans were for the evening, I said I was going for dinner with one of my friends and all our kids. We got home at 8.30.
At 10pm, I was busy doing something and saw something out of the corner of my eye and he’s standing there in my dining room to surprise me…it was very sweet but completely unannounced. After thinking about it today, I’ve been thinking maybe he just turned up to check up on me…how would others take this? He got up and left at 7am this morning.

"if" you want to move on....

Sorry, I don't mean to alarm you OP but this could be a veiled threat. I know you don't want to involve the police but I think you'd be safer to alert them just in case. You and your children's safety is paramount.

Did you not make it clear to him on Sat/ Sun that you were finishing it / that it was over ?

This is just tactics to keep the conversation going. How tiresome! Clearly believes he can charm you into changing your mind!

I did make it very clear on Sunday morning when I packed all my things and left, that it was definitely over.
He knows I find it hard to say no and I think after I tried to end it a couple of weeks ago, then changed my mind after talking to him that he probably thinks he can do it again.

He was even hinting earlier today in his messages that we may be able to move in now the kids are all getting on so well.
I can’t get anymore of his messages now, thankfully! 😅

He was even hinting earlier today in his messages that we may be able to move in now the kids are all getting on so well.

Like that would be such a prize for you! he really thinks he’s something, doesn’t he, dangling this marvellous carrot!

Your life and that of your DC would be totally ruined by the controlling twat.

Well then. You've made it clear, twice, that it's over. He hasn't accepted that and none of us really expected him to, what with that hugely-inflated perception of himself that he carries round with him. But anybody else who sees the messages will, if you have to take action at some point because of harassment.

Stay strong, OP. You are probably going to go through a temporary period of missing him, so you need to keep reminding yourself of all the WRONG things he does, and how upset that makes you (and presumably your kids).
Blocking him is definitely the right thing to do.

@AmusedPearlSeal

That he loves me, he’s sorry and he’d like us to talk to say goodbye properly if I want to move on.

OP you don't need to give him one more second of your time. You are DONE with him and he's trying to lever open an opportunity to plead your forgiveness and show you the sort of 'wonderful' future you and your children could have with him. Keep your boundaries high and tight. 🌹

You've pulled up the drawbridge. Don't let it back down again.

I honestly can’t believe I’m even writing this but I’ve just found out I’m pregnant, I thought I’d check on my tracker to see when I was due and realised I was 5 days late. I am on contraception! I picked up some tests on my way home from the gym and I’ve just done 4 pregnancy tests and all have come out positive.
I am 100% sure that I don’t want anymore children now that I’m in my late 30’s and especially with him.
I’m now going to have to go through with an abortion on my own aswell as everything else. I can’t run my business and be a single parent with 2 teenagers and a newborn.

Don't contact him. Make your appointment tomorrow.

This ⬆️

Do not tell him.

Unbelievable! When it rains it pours!

hope you have someone who can support you at the appointment, OP.

Oh Lordy OP. Last thing you needed and you must have got such a shock when the tests came back positive. Sending you a handhold and a hug for the next steps. 🌹

Lots of love OP. Please be kind to yourself x

Oh goodness I’m so sorry. But as pp have said do not let him know.
Be kind to yourself and make an appointment asap.

I wonder if he tampered with your birth control?

Don't tell him.

Well done for testing so early OP, you poor thing though!

Please don't tell him about the pregnancy or termination - no good can come from doing so.

+1

Definitely say nothing. Block and ignore, and take care of yourself.

Yeah, my first thought was the same as @TargetPractice11 . Soorry OP.

Stay strong.

Do not tell him about this pregnancy. It is irrelevant as he has no say in it so there is no advantage in him knowing about it.

It's very early so hopefully, relatively speaking, you can get this dealt with relatively easily. Do you have real life support?

Oh dear. I agree do not tell him, or anyone who you don't trust 110% to never mention it to anyone else.

Take care op. Focus on yourself and your teens who need you. Once you're past this first hard part you will have a new chapter, being single and learning to love life just for you and your big kids.

I agree with previous posters; don't even consider telling him.

I hope you have someone who can be there for you during/after the procedure.