DH's scruffy friend

[ScruffinessIsContagious]

Mostly lighthearted but I'm also curious.

For the past 6+ years, we’ve been a group of 5. A few months ago, one of DH’s childhood mates came back to oz after spending a couple of years abroad, and we’ve since been a band of 6. We all just got back from a week-long city break, and looking through the photos, her scruffiness is apparent and it actually really bothers me. I know the reasons definitely aren’t financial so I was wondering why.

Her “uniform” (even when not on vacation) consists of chino shorts, oversized tees, and sandals. That’s it. She wore that to museums, walks around the city, fancy cafes, and even restaurants??!! I’m not a fashionista but surely there’s a time and place for a nice dress, some slim-fit trousers and a fitted top, or even a button-down linen shirt to go with her shorts? She’s very slim so surely it’s easy to find clothes that fit? Saw her after work once and she wore a tee, oversized “parachute trousers”, and huge sneakers so it’s not just us she doesn’t smarten up for!

AIBU to wonder why someone would choose to be like that?

What the fuck is the problem? She's wearing what she wants.

Lighthearted? To judge and sneer at someone else. Why don’t you concentrate on you and leave her to her happy self.

She sounds lovely and comfortable! Perhaps you could ask her to take the photos in future so she doesn't ruin your snaps? 🤔

Lighthearted my arse.

Some people simply do not care for clothes. She clearly feels comfortable in that get up and feels no upset if she is out of step with what others are wearing.

Who the hell are you to judge about what someone wears?

Do you judge men like this? Why should she wear ‘slim fitted’ bs if she’s more comfortable in oversized or less clingy clothes? Scruffy to me means unkempt and unwashed. Not having a perfectly normal individual style.

Slim-fit trousers and a fitted top. Cool.

Tbh it's not your business. When you said scruffy, I assumed dirty and unkempt. But simply the choice of clothing is an odd thing to object to.

Could you be scraping the barrel for something to criticise your husband's newly returned, slim, female friend for. 🤭

Who are you to set the minimum dress standards for people, their boss? People are allowed to wear what they want, as long as they're not going to be arrested for indecent exposure, what business is it of yours.

I don't own any nice dresses, and slim fit trousers and a nice top sounds like hell thanks. Jeans, t-shirts, hoodies, all the way thanks. If a friend-of-a-friend was "really bothered" by the "scruffiness" of the comfortable clothes I choose to wear I'd try to avoid spending any time with them in future.

Good for her, no one else's business what she wears.

I thought you were going to describe someone who looks like a homeless person, not someone wearing perfectly normal clothing. Jesus.

Her clothing sounds absolutely fine. She's not scruffy. She just has a more casual and more unisex look than you prefer.

Most of your suggestions for smarter wear you'd like her to wear are both more form fitting and more feminine than she wears. FFS, you talk about how a woman who wears loose tshirts and cargo shorts should be wearing dresses and close fitting tops and trousers!

Why are you so uncomfortable with a woman dressed casually and comfortably, rather than to be 'on show' to others?

Well you sound delightful. She sounds like she dresses very comfortable and is confident in her own skin. She doesn't need to dress up to impress her so called friends who are supposed to accept her how she is. Now we know who the bitchy member of your little group is 😂

So TLDR:

My DPs crush is back on the scene. She's gorgeous and well travelled and doesn't have to make an effort with her clothes to outshine us all. Help!!!!

From the title, I thought this thread would be about someone who was unwashed and unkempt and the OP was worried about mental health or other problems.
Turns out you just don't like someone else's clothes. It sounds as if this woman's clothes are pretty much what's popular now (and very suitable for being a tourist.)
YABVU.

Waiting for the thread about the friend who feels a constant obligation to wear a naice dress even for sightseeing and why the hell can't she chill out in some shorts and trainers once in a while.

🤣🤣 hi grandma, is that you? 👋

And wealthy / well off.

I think you should focusing on why this bothers you.

With all due respect: who the fuck are you?

I hoped we were over criticising women for what they wear- clearly not.

I am picturing you as Mel from MAFS.

Block colour stiff dress and limp blow dry?

Jealous much?!!😂

AIBU to wonder why someone would choose to be like that?

I'd rather be like that than be the kind of person who takes time to write a post criticising someone on the internet. Your life must be dreadfully empty for you to be dwelling on this.

Perhaps this woman likes being comfortable. Perhaps she likes how those clothes make her look and feel. Perhaps she really doesn't care much about clothes at all.

You sound insecure and unkind.

You need to pull the stick out of your arse and stop being so judgemental. She can wear what she likes, who gives a shit what your photos look like