DH's scruffy friend

[ScruffinessIsContagious]

Mostly lighthearted but I'm also curious.

For the past 6+ years, we’ve been a group of 5. A few months ago, one of DH’s childhood mates came back to oz after spending a couple of years abroad, and we’ve since been a band of 6. We all just got back from a week-long city break, and looking through the photos, her scruffiness is apparent and it actually really bothers me. I know the reasons definitely aren’t financial so I was wondering why.

Her “uniform” (even when not on vacation) consists of chino shorts, oversized tees, and sandals. That’s it. She wore that to museums, walks around the city, fancy cafes, and even restaurants??!! I’m not a fashionista but surely there’s a time and place for a nice dress, some slim-fit trousers and a fitted top, or even a button-down linen shirt to go with her shorts? She’s very slim so surely it’s easy to find clothes that fit? Saw her after work once and she wore a tee, oversized “parachute trousers”, and huge sneakers so it’s not just us she doesn’t smarten up for!

AIBU to wonder why someone would choose to be like that?

I wonder if op felt like she had to dress like a proper lady to ensnare her husband and this upstart - who has the audacity to be slim but not wear figure hugging clothes - is doing it whilst wearing what she wants?

You are wondering why someone chooses to dress differently from you ?
Have you ever noticed that there are other people in the world ? If you look outside you can see them walking down the street, in shops, going to work etc. Unless you are a prisoner or a school child, No one is wearing the same clothes as you.

THIS!

She is clean and tidy so what is your problem?

There's nothing in that to suggest she's scruffy, just not very stylish or fashionable. Not everyone has a huge interest in clothes. It also doesn't sound as if she dresses inappropriately; were any of these restaurants particularly smart?

her scruffiness is apparent and it actually really bothers me.

Lighthearted my ass. Are you afraid people look down on you in her company or some shit like that? Get over yourself.

She's comfortable and believes she's among friends. Poor woman.

It sounds like you've gate-crashed their merry band of 5 happy souls and are the judgemental sixth person, OP.

She sounds great, not sure about you.

You didn't even notice this until you looked at the photos, yet it "really bothers" you? How limited must your life be that this takes up any of your brain space at all?

If I had to choose between being scruffy and a bitch then I’d choose scruffy. This is one of the judgiest things I’ve read on here

surely there’s a time and place for a nice dress

Anyone else hearing "nice" as "naice" there?

Your username makes me think you are just winding everyone up though.

I like this “scruffy” woman much more than I do the op….

There are threads when I would welvome MNHQ accidentally revealing poster's past usernames...
Judgy McJudgypants or Trolly McTrollface? We shall never know

The 1950s called OP, they want their sexist opinions back please.

Can you get Fat-fit trousers ? I'm also on the look out for a nasty dress.

What she is wearing IS fashion now

Much better dressed than the majority of people in the UK.

She doesn't owe you femininity.

Her 'scruffy' clothes ruining your IG posts I guess? Not shallow at all.

👏

The judging-pants are hoiked high with this one ...

surely there’s a time and place for a nice dress, some slim-fit trousers and a fitted top

Just who does she think she is, refusing to consider the male gaze!

Lighthearted response - She can wear what she wants, and is doing so.

Passive aggressive response that mirrors the OP - She's slim, confident, well travelled and has matured beyond the need to seek your or anybody else's approval by performing femininity or displaying her figure.

Wow

I think it's really odd that you care at all what she's wearing! It actually irritates you? That's very strange 😳