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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really pissed off with nursery about this?

305 replies

Undertheladder · 22/12/2023 16:31

I know I’ll probably be flamed for this but have been trying to potty train ds, obviously not very well. But FIVE piss wet through pants? He does pee on the potty when told, so AIBU to wonder wtf is going on?

OP posts:
Hellocatshome · 22/12/2023 16:34

What is going on is that he is at nursery doing fun Christmas things and didn't go to the potty, it happens. If he only goes when told rather than when he feels the need he isnt potty trained and accidents will happen. Some days will be worse than others. Today is a bad day, tomorrow is another day.

hockityponktas · 22/12/2023 16:35

Maybe he’s not really ready? Or maybe it’s just a first day training in an new environment?
Nursery is a very different environment to home. Is he asking to go at home or are you constantly telling him to wee on the potty?

Original poster
Undertheladder · 22/12/2023 16:37

I know he isn’t potty trained but he will go if told. I don’t think telling three year olds to go to the potty should be beyond them.

OP posts:
Original poster
Undertheladder · 22/12/2023 16:37

He’s been going in pants for over a month now. I realise that the odd accident will happen but five is excessive IMO.

OP posts:
ImTiredBoss · 22/12/2023 16:37

Was this his first day potty training in nursery?

Thesearmsofmine · 22/12/2023 16:38

It sounds like he isn’t ready, I’d expect one or two accidents where he is distracted and just busy at nursery but if he only goes when told and can’t recognise the cues himself then he isn’t ready yet.

Original poster
Undertheladder · 22/12/2023 16:39

I know but when he’s with me and told to go to the toilet he does. He can hold it for a good couple of hours so I really think they just haven’t told him to go all day.

OP posts:
Lovingitallnow · 22/12/2023 16:39

Hate to say it but if he has to be told then he isn't potty trained.

Wolfpa · 22/12/2023 16:39

Have you asked them to remind him?

Original poster
Undertheladder · 22/12/2023 16:39

I’m pretty sure he’s ready, and I’m not waiting for him to turn six or something. I keep reading this about them being ready but then I also keep reading that many don’t show signs of being ready and you have to force them a bit!

OP posts:
PeloMom · 22/12/2023 16:40

Put him in pants and pull ups over the pants. This way he’ll feel the wetness and discomfort.

Original poster
Undertheladder · 22/12/2023 16:40

Believe me my laundry pile and carpets are testimony to him not being trained! I said potty trainING not trained.

OP posts:
hockityponktas · 22/12/2023 16:40

If he isn’t initiating it, then he really isn’t ready. It’s almost completely pointless to do it before they’re ready. It’s too much pressure on the nursery staff and your child and you end up pissed off because he’s had accidents!
after a month with lots of accidents I would go back to nappies tbh

Original poster
Undertheladder · 22/12/2023 16:41

I really don’t want to go back to nappies. I honestly think we’ll be in them for years if I do that.

OP posts:
anxiousnanna · 22/12/2023 16:41

is it the nurseries job to potty train your child or yours? not all nurseries are 1 on 1 and have time to remind their charges every 20 seconds to go pee pee.

Original poster
Undertheladder · 22/12/2023 16:41

Bit of a difference between every two hours or so and every twenty seconds Hmm

OP posts:
KateyCuckoo · 22/12/2023 16:41

He is not potty trained, you're just catching wees.

Why is he just wetting himself unless told to use the potty? It will be because he's not ready.

So you think they liked changing him five times.

Very unfair for you to put that on them.

They are probably crosser at you for sending a child who isn't ready in pants. You've given them extra work!

Thesearmsofmine · 22/12/2023 16:41

It’s been a month?l Why on earth are you putting the both of you through it when he clearly isn’t ready? Just go back to nappies and try again in a few months time.

SEG152 · 22/12/2023 16:41

If he’s ready to start wearing pants he should be able to recognise and tell someone when he needs a wee.

Ratfinkstinkypink · 22/12/2023 16:42

Not coming down with a UTI is he?

svenandmolly · 22/12/2023 16:43

PeloMom · 22/12/2023 16:40

Put him in pants and pull ups over the pants. This way he’ll feel the wetness and discomfort.

Don't do this.

Original poster
Undertheladder · 22/12/2023 16:43

Guys, I do know he isn’t potty trained: I haven’t said he is. I have said we’re trying to potty train. I do know I’m obviously not going a very good job and it is getting me down a fair bit but I do think a few reminders are reasonable.

I don’t think it’s just catching wees as he does hold on for them. But doesn’t initiate the I need a wee conversation and I know we have to get there - just have no idea how Sad

I swear it is the most shitty thing ever pardon the pun.

OP posts:
svenandmolly · 22/12/2023 16:43

Undertheladder · 22/12/2023 16:41

I really don’t want to go back to nappies. I honestly think we’ll be in them for years if I do that.

You need a week off, read Oh Crap!, and don't go back to nappies

SoupDragon · 22/12/2023 16:44

Undertheladder · 22/12/2023 16:39

I know but when he’s with me and told to go to the toilet he does. He can hold it for a good couple of hours so I really think they just haven’t told him to go all day.

Does he ever just go by himself or is it always when you prompt him?

it's very different in nursery where it's not 1 on 1 and he is engrossed in activities with friends.

i hated potty training! I was so pleased when my third one was 'done"!

Extratoebeans · 22/12/2023 16:44

How many children are at your sons nursery? Imagine if they have to tell every child to go to the toilet. By the time they had done the first few, someone might have wet themselves. I doubt it's been done deliberately, as the staff haven't left him in wet soiled clothing, but changed him each time. If they were doing fun activities, could it be he was asked and said no, because he didn't want to leave, then had an accident?

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