To call my neighbour selfish

[Fedupandgrumpy1]

We live in a quiet street with about 10 houses in. I have mobility issues and also struggle with my MH. It's important for me to have as much sleep as possible so I tend to go to bed at 10.30pm and don't get up until about 11am.

Very recently a family moved in next door. They have 3 children who are lovely and not a problem. But their mother annoys me and I feel she is being selfish. She works strange hours and most days leaves the house to go to work at 4.30am. She drives an old car and the doors creaks when she opens it. She then normally sits in the car with it running for 5 mins before driving off. The father is fine.

I have spoken to her and told her about my health issues and have asked her to consider changing her working hours, replace her car or to park her car in a road away from the house. She said she was sorry that she disturbs me but she cannot change her working hours due to the nature of her job. She said they can't afford to replace the car and as its an old car she has to warm it up before going anywhere. She admits the door creaks and said that oiling is didn't help. She is not willing to park away from home and she doesn't think its safe to walk on her own early in the morning with no streetlights.

She is making me more poorly. I am now having to sleep a bit in the afternoon due go being disturbed and as a result am missing out on me time.

What can I do about it? I'm fed up of her selfish behaviour.

Can we stop the "my taxes fund your lifestyle " posts please
its an utterly shit attitude to people with disabilities who claim benefits they're entitled to
It shows you as a bit of a wanker
And people on benefits like PIP reading this will feel even shitter than they may already do
the OP won't give a shit I expect but it's a horrible thing to post

@MNHQ please will you take a look at this thread which appears to tick every single bingo card of ableist comments?

That tag does nothing. Report is the only way to get their attention.

I think perhaps you are not able to see how unreasonable or unrealistic your request is. I mean seriously, because you sleep 13 hours a day, you genuinely think that other people should tip toe around all day or choose a job that suits your hours? Come on..

Thank you! I will do that. Rookie error.

I've reported this thread. It's either general trolling (given that OP is utterly ignoring the answers) or trolling to generate hateful comments towards disabled people. It's grim.

Ditto.

OP, in the kindest possible way, YABU.

I fully understand you have health challenges, and I'm really sorry to hear that. However, you have to realise that most people don't have the opportunity of such long hours of sleep. Most people do have to work (if they are well enough to do so, of course!) Your neighbour starting at 4.30am isn't completely usual, but it also isn't beyond the realms of possibility.
Think about how your requests might be in reverse. If your neighbour asked you to stop watching TV at 9pm each evening, you would be quite put out that your basic enjoyment of your evening in your home was affected. That's what it's like for her too - but with the addition of a monetary request. Say she was saying you needed to get a very expensive sound system in your house, to allow silence from your TV? Well, it's that.

I do think some posters have been somewhat unkind in their responses, as it's obviously really important to you that you get the sleep. However, you really do need to think about your level of reasonableness in your request. It's not like there's a formula 1 car on your drive every morning.... I'd be looking to get some solution in place to stop it disturbing you. You have to also be disturbed by the postie/others going to work, before 11am each day.

Get a grip ! You've obviously all day to sleep , this woman is earning a living or trying to

The OP seems so tone deaf that I think this is real!

Absolutely.

Is this a joke??

What are your health issues?

Her need to work kinda trumps your 12hours of sleep when she’s not even doing anything wrong, she’s getting in her car starting it and letting it warm or what will be soon defrost before driving off.

It’s an amazing place of privilege actually to think someone could just change their job just like that for better hours or pay or be able to afford a new car smh.

How about you move bedrooms so yours is far away from her drive, or you go to bed earlier so you’re awake earlier and Shes not disturbing your sleep right in the middle then, white noise machines etc

There is a million better ways for you to fix your issue that a squeaky door wakes you before you have the audacity to ask your neighbour to change jobs or buy a new car you live on another planet.

You think “she should have some spare money as she’s working” so she should be able to buy a new car so as not to wake you?! Spare money? With 3 children?!

OP you might be a nice person, but you are widely out of touch with reality to the point where you’re edging into madness.

You simply can’t ask a neighbour to change their job or buy a new car for your convenience, it’s mind-boggling that you seem to think it’s okay.

Put it another way - do you really think your neighbour enjoys leaving the house at an ungodly hour and driving a shitty old car? Do you think she does it for fun? I guarantee she does it out of necessity.

If this is real and not a wind up then your sense of entitlement knows no bounds.

I can see how this would make the noise of her leaving serm amplified.

I wonder if a course of cbt would help you, op. It can be really effective and the most realistic solution you have is to lose sensitivity to the sounds of her leaving so that it no longer disturbs your sleep. Cbt could help with that, especially while, when you're tired, you're dealing with feelings of frustration and resentment.

Why don't you move somewhere away from neighbours?

@ErniesGhostlyGoldTops if op doesn't want to swap with you I'd love to. That sounds idyllic.

Perhaps your neighbour could buy a tractor instead of a new car then? 🤣

I would be waiting with breathless anticipation for her post asking if the seagull and pheasant are being selfish because they are interrupting her "me time".

Her old neighbors, on the other hand would be rejoicing when you moved in, since they would love someone NOT batshit cray-cray.

SAY WHAT???? Oh, okay...SSSHHHHHHHHHH!!! 😎😈😇😉

Oh, I agree. It's either a reverse or just a wind-up. I just cannot believe anyone could be that self-centered and STAY self-centered and clueless with the responses they have had.

I am debating whether my mind is just boggled or if it's blown or perhaps the whole of me is gobsmacked. 👀😵🤔😉

she has either accepted that people think she’s batshit crazy or it’s bolstered her mumsnet is a right wing paradise how dare

She be confronted with her outrageous behaviour!

I can't believe this thread is still up!