To call my neighbour selfish

[Fedupandgrumpy1]

We live in a quiet street with about 10 houses in. I have mobility issues and also struggle with my MH. It's important for me to have as much sleep as possible so I tend to go to bed at 10.30pm and don't get up until about 11am.

Very recently a family moved in next door. They have 3 children who are lovely and not a problem. But their mother annoys me and I feel she is being selfish. She works strange hours and most days leaves the house to go to work at 4.30am. She drives an old car and the doors creaks when she opens it. She then normally sits in the car with it running for 5 mins before driving off. The father is fine.

I have spoken to her and told her about my health issues and have asked her to consider changing her working hours, replace her car or to park her car in a road away from the house. She said she was sorry that she disturbs me but she cannot change her working hours due to the nature of her job. She said they can't afford to replace the car and as its an old car she has to warm it up before going anywhere. She admits the door creaks and said that oiling is didn't help. She is not willing to park away from home and she doesn't think its safe to walk on her own early in the morning with no streetlights.

She is making me more poorly. I am now having to sleep a bit in the afternoon due go being disturbed and as a result am missing out on me time.

What can I do about it? I'm fed up of her selfish behaviour.

I can't believe what I'm reading. I did early shifts on check in at Heathrow for 5 years. Leaving home at 4.30 to start at 5.30. My car didn't creak but I lived in a flat and hoped I didn't disturb my neighbours. If anyone had suggested I change my job I would told them where to go.

Despite trying to have a nap at 3pm after work I was permanently sleep deprived and that was without having children so her life is probably incredibly tiring. But yes, of course your 11.5 hours in bed is more important

You are unbelievable, this is unbelievable! why don't you move to somewhere desolate if it troubles you so much and this suggestion is reasonable - yours is definitely unreasonable to the highest level!

There is no way this post is for real 😂

What do you do for a job OP, ‘cos I’m sure your neighbour would love to have a nap (even if it eats into her me time) every now and again after having to go to work at 4.30am to put food on the table.

I don't have the money to buy her a new car. Mine is on the mobility scheme so I don't even have my own car but appreciate that the scheme helps me. I do know that I wouldn't be able to afford a car myself so I know its not easy, but she does work so should have some spare money.

oh, I’m sure you appreciate it 🙄 But let me remind you that your neighbour (and the rest of us “selfish” fuckers going to work at the crack of dawn) paid for your mobility vehicle.

Ha ha ha! This is a good one and obviously a joke!

It's awful that you are struggling op but no you can't expect someone to change their job or buy a new car to help you. It's too big an ask. You need to look at your situation and how you can change it. -

Earplugs
White noise
Podcast/soothing music
Move bedroom
Nap
Go to bed earlier

You're the selfish one love

😂 imagine she may be going to work at 4.30 because she needs the money, has children to look after on her return and may even have MH issues herself - just imagine eh? Get earplugs !

Sure. There's no cost of living crisis at all. Everyone who works is rolling in it

I can't believe you actually asked her to change her job! Have a think about who the selfish one is here.

I hope to God that this is a joke…..

Out of interest @Fedupandgrumpy1 , what car does the man drive?

Try complaining to him, he might have the power to change it, she obviously doesn't. Poor woman.

I think we can all leave her alone now. She's said she was just tired and grumpy. We all make mistakes. Lay off

What! You asked your neighbour to change her hours or buy a new car

in the nicest possible way your health issues are not her problem and you were a CF to ask her

Please stop OP. I've just snorfed tea all over my keyboard.

I live in a very isolated place and have to move to a town soon for my own welfare. It's people like you that make me not want to have neighbours and make me keep putting off the move.

I still think reverse or wind-up, and that the OP overdid it with the 'missing out on me time'.

But on the offchance this is real, OP, you owe your neighbour a heartfelt apology, and then you need to find a better way of managing your conditions, because the current way isn't working. If you are sleeping so much because of depression (you say mobility and MH issues so I assume this is part of it), you may be making things worse. Are you having treatment?

🤔

You sound like my neighbour- always complaining about lights/noise of our everyday lives. You are probably causing your neighbour lots of stress and anxiety. Get earplugs and don't expect others to adhere to your limited schedule

I wonder if the neighbour will start a thread

I hope we get an update in about 4 hours when the OP finally gets up!

This may be the most ridiculous AIBU I’ve read. You are being so utterly entitled and selfish it’s unbelievable. (Maybe too unbelievable, I’m not sure anyone could be that ridiculous). Please NEVER ask someone to change their job, working hours or buy a new car so that you can get more precious sleep. Get some freakin ear plugs. I understand you have a health condition but this lady is just trying to go to work and provide for her family, she’s not up at 4:30am blasting music and having a party. Jeez!

Maybe you two could switch houses. She needs the isolation to get "enough" sleep and to have her "me time".
You would like a less isolated place and I bet the neighbors would love to have you.

Maybe offer to buy her a new car.

You should be totally ashamed of yourself OP!
It’s you who is so selfish and entitled. Your poor neighbour has to go out to work at an awful hour of the day, to provide for her family! Do you think she enjoys getting up so early.
You have to audacity to ask her to change her hours, get another car or park in another street.
You may be poorly but that doesn’t give you the right to tell someone to change what they have to do.
Your neighbours taxes, pays for your benefits and you have the privilege to go back to sleep after you have been woke up or any other time during the day.

Oh god yes please!

You need to find a solution, not your neighbour. Go to bed earlier, wear ear plugs. Asking someone to change their working hours is very unreasonable as well as asking them to buy a new car. Just because she works, doesn't mean she can afford a new car. Not everyone can afford repayments or get credit.