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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect to have my own seat in the lounge?

239 replies

seahorseyo · 11/09/2023 20:30

Dh and I have always had places we sit, I sit on one end of a massive corner sofa and he sits in the middle where it makes an L and that been the way for years.
Adult DS moved back home recently after living with a partner for 7 years (longer than we've lived in this house or had this sofa) and sits in my seat, I used to ask him to move up but he seems to like that seat (as I do ) because there's a table and charging port so argues he can sit there if nobody's in it.
But even if I'm not in it I'm only up for a minute pottering about and then he's in my seat again.

AIBU do other people have their seats in the house or am I selfish as he pays his way and it should be first come first serve?

OP posts:
Littlefish · 11/09/2023 20:31

Tell him it's your seat!

Is there somewhere else for him to sit?

Original poster
seahorseyo · 11/09/2023 20:33

Yes we have a huge corner sofa.

OP posts:
takealettermsjones · 11/09/2023 20:35

I am with him I think; sofas are a free for all and while people come to have their 'usual' spot over time, I don't think he's unreasonable to see an empty seat and sit in it.

Can you add another table/charging zone to the other end of the couch?

Howtohideasausage · 11/09/2023 20:35

It’s your seat. He can get a different one.

LisaD1 · 11/09/2023 20:35

Yes I have my seat and if my dc sits in it
they move when I come
in. Your DC is cheeky as!

SophiaElise · 11/09/2023 20:35

You need to be firm. When he has his own house/flat he can choose his seat. For now, that place on the sofa is yours.

Sofasurfer23 · 11/09/2023 20:36

Oh no this annoyed me, my mum made us all move out of her seat like second class people.

I wouldn’t ask them to move all the time. If you’re just popping to the toilet and coming back, say so and add in don’t steal my seat I’m coming back in 2 mins.

Marblessolveeverything · 11/09/2023 20:36

Sheldon? Is that you? First come first served here.

TomatoSandwiches · 11/09/2023 20:37

He can move out if he wants top choice of seating.

GarlicGrace · 11/09/2023 20:37

Can you add another table/charging zone to the other end of the couch?

Neither of you ABU, but this seems like a good idea!

Flo84 · 11/09/2023 20:37

I have my own place to sit and when people come over they can sit anywhere they like as long as it isn't in my place. My mum and Aunty had their own place to sit when I was growing up so you could call it a tradition 😂

AlisonDonut · 11/09/2023 20:39

because there's a table and charging port

Which you presumably you put there for your own use?

LindseysDoily · 11/09/2023 20:39

I hear you OP! I had to have this discussion with my teen now adult children who all tried to use my seat in the living room whenever I went out of the room for 2 minutes ( usually to complete some domestic task i hasten to add)
My argument was, i have to share everything in this house including my bedroom so i want just ONE thing that is completely and only MINE!

PerfectMatch · 11/09/2023 20:40

No one has a particular seat here.

Michim · 11/09/2023 20:52

Discussed this with DP as interesting and none of you ABU.

We think you have to turn it on its head. You were to live short term with your DS and he threw you off the sofa seat just because it was "his" and they had set seats?

Doesn't set a good example - be the bigger person and stop caring about the seat :)

Letitgonowgr · 11/09/2023 20:53

Find this a bit weird! Just sit where there is a space! Why do you need to best spot?!

Blondeshavemorefun · 11/09/2023 20:54

Yep dh and I have our own seats - opposite ends of sofa 😂

But means we can not stretch our legs out

Ans bugs me if someone sits in our seat

readingmakesmehappy · 11/09/2023 20:55

Your house, your seat. If you want to sit there he has to move

headstone · 11/09/2023 20:58

I think this is an older person thing, my grandparents were like that and I found it hilarious as a teenager.

CoffeeBeansGalore · 11/09/2023 21:01

If you have a favourite spot, you have a favourite spot!
I have a raised recliner due to mobility issues. I cannot comfortably sit anywhere else.
Dh's friend stayed with us (far too long) whilst sorting out a housing issue. He kept sitting in my seat. Begrudgingly moved when I told him to shift but kept trying to sit there.
Really annoyed me.

Womencanlift · 11/09/2023 21:04

It comes across very precious and makes your son unwelcome. We are a you sit where you sit house and I would never make someone move from where they are sitting so I can sit down. That’s is rude imo

MrsMitford3 · 11/09/2023 21:06

I 100% have my seat and am currently struggling with a low level coup started by the cat to usurp it.

To be fair everyone has a "spot" including the dog

ZadocPDederick · 11/09/2023 21:08

It's your house and your sofa, so your choice.

Can you import another table and charging point at the other end of the sofa?

Onionsandplaydoh · 11/09/2023 21:09

Oh, this would be a cardinal sin in our house. Nobody, nobody and especially nobody sits in MY chair!

JayAlfredPrufrock · 11/09/2023 21:09

Shocking behaviour.