To expect to have my own seat in the lounge?

[seahorseyo]

Dh and I have always had places we sit, I sit on one end of a massive corner sofa and he sits in the middle where it makes an L and that been the way for years.
Adult DS moved back home recently after living with a partner for 7 years (longer than we've lived in this house or had this sofa) and sits in my seat, I used to ask him to move up but he seems to like that seat (as I do ) because there's a table and charging port so argues he can sit there if nobody's in it.
But even if I'm not in it I'm only up for a minute pottering about and then he's in my seat again.

AIBU do other people have their seats in the house or am I selfish as he pays his way and it should be first come first serve?

I just sit wherever there is space tbh, it wouldn't bother me. If it did bother me I'd have said something to him by now though.

Bums keep seats in our house.

Not unreasonable at all, OP.

I've managed to make my seat my very own over several years by effectively wrecking the springs at the end of the sofa where I sit. A terrible indictment of my physique and posture, but a great deterrent to anyone else who tries to take it over!

We don't have particular seats in our house. But if someone has been sitting down and just popped out to the loo or to get a cup of tea or something, then of course it's really rude to just slide into their spot and expect to stay there when they come back

Is that you, Sheldon?

I actually think this idea of having your place is really strange because I want to sit in different spots depending on the weather, as it were, however, DS like to lie full length on one of the sofas to the extent that it's now developed a noticeable sag - if he's taken up "the position" he'd go mad if one of us sat there while he went to the loo. So, whilst I think it's odd, I'd have no qualms about reserving your seat if that's how you like it - it's your house!

My usual response would be "Would you rob my grave as quickly?"

Tell him to get up out of your spot. When his name is on the mortgage, he can have his name in the hat for having a 'spot' but until then, he's simply an adult kid returned home and takes any of the remaining places on the couch.

Reminds me very much of Sheldon from TBBT having his 'spot'!

Tell him to respect your home he's now an adult and needs to appreciate moving back in means being respectful if it's where you prefer to sit he moves it also includes doing some housework and taking turns cooking

If he's stealing your seat when you just get up for a few minutes to go to the loo / to get a drink, he's being unreasonable. If he's sitting down where you usually sit when you haven't been in the lounge yet yabu and selfish (caveat - unless there's some kind of medical reason you need that seat like you have a bad leg which needs to be elevated or something).

As a guest you don't move in and cause discomfort to your hosts. I have a chair I like to sit in because I can get out of it without causing too much pain I don't tell others why I like that seat but it's my seat. If you were as rude as the ops adult son he'd be looking for a room to rent.

We definitely have our own spots here. DS will usually move if he’s in it and I come in. I tell him to stay if I’m only in for a quick sit, but if I’m done for the evening then I’m getting my seat.

I actually see both sides.
I have a prefer ‘seat’ at home but I wouldn’t kick anyone out of it because I remember living with my parents and being kicked out of seats and feeling like an unwelcome second class citizen. We are constantly telling children and toddlers they have to share, so why in front of them (potentially) do we throw strops over where to sit and demand they move…..

‘It’s your seat he moves or he can find somewhere else to live’

to me that just sounds bonkers. You’d rather your child move out over where he sits on the sofa 😂😂😂 (yes I am an adult yes I have my own place, mortgage, sofa and preferred place to sit on said sofa, I just wouldn’t dream of kicking anyone out of it!!!)

Is he being expected to keep the seat vacant if OP is out all day so he’s ready for when she returns?
I think we are all underestimating the amount of disrespect this can make someone feel. If he’s an adult it’s already awkward enough living in your parents home I think people forget MOST people over aged 18 don’t actually want to be living at home still

we force children to share so why don’t adult practise what they preach.

Is your husband the only adult living in the house FFS. You both need to grow up, my husband is the same as you, we have a 6yr old DS and him and my husband like the same seat on the sofa as it is directly in front of the TV and my husband will argue like a petulant child with our son over whos seat it is and it drives me crazy. Be an adult and suck it up, enjoy your time with your son as tomorrow is never guaranteed.

I’ve damaged my L5 vertabre and I’m also very hard of hearing, in our house we sit where ever there’s an empty seat!

Just work out together how to add more tables or places to charge phones?

I think having a "first class" and "second class" members of the household set up is not ok.

Its your seat and if he doesn’t like it he can move out.

If he pinches it when you get up tell him to shift. If he's in it first fair game.

As kids we always had to get out of a chair that was deemed my dad’s but that seemed pretty normal in those days (70s). No one has their own place on our sofa but if I’d bought myself a specific chair just for me then I’d think that’s acceptable to turf someone off. Not really sure what to think about a sofa seat but I do know I’d move for my parent even as an adult (probably ingrained from childhood).

Totally disrespectful. He can always find his own flat.

Oh hell no if it’s my house, and my mortgage I’m having the seat I want 😅 he can find his own place if he wants the best spot!
(I probably wouldn’t turf him out in the day time if he’d been there before I got home granted, but of an evening when it’s my time to sit down and chill - you can move out my spot!)

DH and I live on our own. We have two sofas and three arm chairs. One of the sofas is ours - his side and my side. It is the one best placed for the tv and we have our tables at each side with our bits on them - glassess, chargers, book. When the kids stay I usually tell them to sit there when they are watching tv and I hide in the dining room. When DH comes home we are more likely to watch something together and we get "our" sofa back.

I have a spot, when I enter the room everyone understands they must move from it 😆
YADNBU

I have my own seat on my sitting room, park your bum there at your peril.

I have my own armchair (and footstool, lol). DDs sit in it if I'm not there but ask me if I'd like to sit there when I come in.