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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My wedding rings are missing and I think my child gave them to a friend

219 replies

threeisacharm18 · 16/06/2023 01:00

Long and short of it is - my DC and her friend were playing in my house. They went up to my bedroom where my rings are normally on the nightstand.

Next day I noticed they were missing. I asked DC if she had given my rings to her friend . She said no.

When her friend was leaving she tried to give her a wind chime which I'd discouraged.

Previously D.C. friend had taken an inconsequential item from her house and given it to my dc which I gave back to the mum.

I know my dc has an active imagination and often makes up stories and is susceptible to suggestion. She's 5. Anyway I thought I'd leave it for a day or two and ask her to talk me through the day when her friend came over. And I asked again did she give my rings to her friend and this time she said yes.

Again because she's not always truthful I left it for a day or so and then today I asked her to talk me through the day her friend came.
She told me they found some rings and that she gave them to her friend. I asked her if she gave anything else to the friend and she said she gave the friend a teddy bear which talks. She does have a talking teddy but it's not the colour she told me. However there is a missing teddy among her toys.

So now I have an unreliable child witness and missing personal item.

I need to ask the mum of this child but I don't want to come across as accusatory.

What would you do?

OP posts:
Landlubber2019 · 17/06/2023 13:38

We always show our child's guests around the house, so they know where the bathroom is and also areas that out out of bounds, namely my bedroom and siblings bedroom! We show them the rooms so there is no curiosity or confusion!!!

2bazookas · 17/06/2023 17:04

threeisacharm18 · 16/06/2023 19:24

Didn't realise I'd get so many replies.

The reason I dithered for so long is that I didn't want the other mum to think I was accusing her child.

I did ring the mum. Apparently the two kids put it somewhere in a box. Not quite sure which one but they described the colour and I'm non the wiser. I'll have a good look through all the toy boxes once the kids are in bed

I'd ask the friend over, then tell the girls there is a prize for who can find the rings. (trashy bracelet from charity shop)

Confusedandanxiety · 17/06/2023 17:05

I know it's difficult but I think you need to go back to the other mum and ask her again. It sounds like she's asked her child what happened to the rings, child said they are in a box, and mum just accepted that at face value. Maybe you could ask her to have a look around her house?
Awkward I know!

Confusedandanxiety · 17/06/2023 17:07

Just to be clear I meant to ask the mum to look around her own house! Not if you can look around her house, which would be completely inappropriate!

Mysticlou · 17/06/2023 18:13

I think you need to report the items missing. I imagine you will claim on your household insurance for the value?
I lost a very valuable locket given to me on my wedding day after a play date. My daughter now 19 maintains it was in a bag. I have checked every bag for 13 years! It's value? £20k but one of the few things my mother gave me. It was her 21st birthday gift before me. She has passed and I live in hope. However I think you need to be a bit tough on this one. These rings mean something, ring the mother and say I am going to claim so the insurers will be in touch. If the family have them shame on them (we had a few things pilfered over the years so I am not being alarmist). Good luck.

SD1978 · 17/06/2023 18:30

Have you asked yet?

GoodChat · 17/06/2023 18:44

SD1978 · 17/06/2023 18:30

Have you asked yet?

Yes she has. The other parent said it's in a box in the OP's house. I cant believe she didnt turn the house upside down as soon as she noticed they were missing.

SamphireSandwich · 17/06/2023 18:53

SD1978 · 17/06/2023 18:30

Have you asked yet?

Have you read the OPs responses? Try filtering?

freccle · 17/06/2023 19:14

I'd make sure my rings were on my fingers not laying around somewhere. And my daughter would be told not to go into mummy's room

SamphireSandwich · 17/06/2023 19:17

freccle · 17/06/2023 19:14

I'd make sure my rings were on my fingers not laying around somewhere. And my daughter would be told not to go into mummy's room

I’d read the OPs posts so that I could make a sensible comment and understand why the rings were off her finger and not in her room.

🤷‍♀️

Bucketheadbucketbum · 17/06/2023 19:26

Itw not odd- you absolutely need to speak to the other child's mum and get her to look asap! The longer you leave it the less likely you'll ever see them again

Itsanotherhreatday · 17/06/2023 19:32

Itw not odd- you absolutely need to speak to the other child's mum and get her to look asap!

Gosh if only OP had thought of that and called the other mother 🤷‍♂️ what wisdom

SamphireSandwich · 17/06/2023 19:42

Bucketheadbucketbum · 17/06/2023 19:26

Itw not odd- you absolutely need to speak to the other child's mum and get her to look asap! The longer you leave it the less likely you'll ever see them again

Thank god you’ve come up with that suggestion! About time someone did!

YummyMummy1959 · 17/06/2023 19:52
Cats Reaction GIF by TikTok MENA

Hi there I had a similar problem with my little one she had given 5 of my Gold signet rings to her best friend but my daughter denied giver anything of the sort .I believed my child. so the next day in the school playground I clocked the mother of this thief and I gave her a piece of my mind she denied knowing that her little rat had stolen my prized rings which I won in back alley street fights in the 70's. SO next time her daughter came for a playdate in MY house I searched her bags and loan behold 3 of the 5 were in her bag. So I Phoned her mum now that I had evidence. and she was then delt with.

YummyMummy1959 · 17/06/2023 19:55

I fully agree hun

SamphireSandwich · 17/06/2023 20:06

YummyMummy1959 · 17/06/2023 19:52

Hi there I had a similar problem with my little one she had given 5 of my Gold signet rings to her best friend but my daughter denied giver anything of the sort .I believed my child. so the next day in the school playground I clocked the mother of this thief and I gave her a piece of my mind she denied knowing that her little rat had stolen my prized rings which I won in back alley street fights in the 70's. SO next time her daughter came for a playdate in MY house I searched her bags and loan behold 3 of the 5 were in her bag. So I Phoned her mum now that I had evidence. and she was then delt with.

Yeah righty oh!

ThereIbledit · 17/06/2023 20:06

Oh OP my heart is in my mouth for you, I hope they turn up!

Kinneddar · 17/06/2023 20:25

YummyMummy1959 · 17/06/2023 19:52

Hi there I had a similar problem with my little one she had given 5 of my Gold signet rings to her best friend but my daughter denied giver anything of the sort .I believed my child. so the next day in the school playground I clocked the mother of this thief and I gave her a piece of my mind she denied knowing that her little rat had stolen my prized rings which I won in back alley street fights in the 70's. SO next time her daughter came for a playdate in MY house I searched her bags and loan behold 3 of the 5 were in her bag. So I Phoned her mum now that I had evidence. and she was then delt with.

Cool story!!

🙄

YummyMummy1959 · 17/06/2023 20:27

Oi Kinneddar
It is not a story alright this is just how I delt with my problem and I wanted to share my wisdom

Dodie66 · 17/06/2023 20:28

Why don’t you get the other child over for another play date and play find the rings.

SamphireSandwich · 17/06/2023 20:28

YummyMummy1959 · 17/06/2023 20:27

Oi Kinneddar
It is not a story alright this is just how I delt with my problem and I wanted to share my wisdom

Yeah right oh!

LaurenMumz · 17/06/2023 20:53

I found this in my daughters bathroom what do I do she's 18 and I don't know what to say or do😨

hattyhathat · 17/06/2023 21:00

LaurenMumz · 17/06/2023 20:53

I found this in my daughters bathroom what do I do she's 18 and I don't know what to say or do😨

Start your own thread?

Kinneddar · 17/06/2023 21:04

SamphireSandwich · 17/06/2023 20:28

Yeah right oh!

Yeah so you did 😂😂😂

Unicorn2022 · 17/06/2023 21:28

YummyMummy1959 · 17/06/2023 19:52

Hi there I had a similar problem with my little one she had given 5 of my Gold signet rings to her best friend but my daughter denied giver anything of the sort .I believed my child. so the next day in the school playground I clocked the mother of this thief and I gave her a piece of my mind she denied knowing that her little rat had stolen my prized rings which I won in back alley street fights in the 70's. SO next time her daughter came for a playdate in MY house I searched her bags and loan behold 3 of the 5 were in her bag. So I Phoned her mum now that I had evidence. and she was then delt with.

I think you must have given away too big a piece of your mind