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Original poster

My wedding rings are missing and I think my child gave them to a friend

219 replies

threeisacharm18 · 16/06/2023 01:00

Long and short of it is - my DC and her friend were playing in my house. They went up to my bedroom where my rings are normally on the nightstand.

Next day I noticed they were missing. I asked DC if she had given my rings to her friend . She said no.

When her friend was leaving she tried to give her a wind chime which I'd discouraged.

Previously D.C. friend had taken an inconsequential item from her house and given it to my dc which I gave back to the mum.

I know my dc has an active imagination and often makes up stories and is susceptible to suggestion. She's 5. Anyway I thought I'd leave it for a day or two and ask her to talk me through the day when her friend came over. And I asked again did she give my rings to her friend and this time she said yes.

Again because she's not always truthful I left it for a day or so and then today I asked her to talk me through the day her friend came.
She told me they found some rings and that she gave them to her friend. I asked her if she gave anything else to the friend and she said she gave the friend a teddy bear which talks. She does have a talking teddy but it's not the colour she told me. However there is a missing teddy among her toys.

So now I have an unreliable child witness and missing personal item.

I need to ask the mum of this child but I don't want to come across as accusatory.

What would you do?

OP posts:
Cornishclio · 17/06/2023 21:46

I had a similar thing happen about 30 years ago when we were decorating and my wedding and engagement rings were left on a shelf in one of my DDs rooms as our bedroom was a mess. She had a friend over to play and later on I could not find them. I turned the whole house upside down but eventually questioned my DD who was older than yours (around 8) and she said she had not taken them but her friend had seen them but she did not know if she had taken them. I questioned her mum who was a friend of mine too and she asked her DD who denied all knowledge and I left it for a few weeks in the hope they would turn up. I was just about to put in an insurance claim when my friend very embarrassed told me she had moved a bookcase in her DDs room and the rings were in a paper bag behind the bookcase obviously hidden by her DD as she thought she would get into trouble.

I hope yours turn up too.

Tinklake44 · 17/06/2023 22:04

threeisacharm18 · 16/06/2023 01:00

Long and short of it is - my DC and her friend were playing in my house. They went up to my bedroom where my rings are normally on the nightstand.

Next day I noticed they were missing. I asked DC if she had given my rings to her friend . She said no.

When her friend was leaving she tried to give her a wind chime which I'd discouraged.

Previously D.C. friend had taken an inconsequential item from her house and given it to my dc which I gave back to the mum.

I know my dc has an active imagination and often makes up stories and is susceptible to suggestion. She's 5. Anyway I thought I'd leave it for a day or two and ask her to talk me through the day when her friend came over. And I asked again did she give my rings to her friend and this time she said yes.

Again because she's not always truthful I left it for a day or so and then today I asked her to talk me through the day her friend came.
She told me they found some rings and that she gave them to her friend. I asked her if she gave anything else to the friend and she said she gave the friend a teddy bear which talks. She does have a talking teddy but it's not the colour she told me. However there is a missing teddy among her toys.

So now I have an unreliable child witness and missing personal item.

I need to ask the mum of this child but I don't want to come across as accusatory.

What would you do?

This has just brought back a terrible memory of when I was in primary school and a boy wrote me a letter with two pages of just please please please over and over again would I be his girlfriend the envelope had a ring in and as we left the play ground at home time I put it down the the grid by the pavement… it was a diamond engagement ring 😩😆 he had taken from home I think it was his adult sisters… I remember now the fuss it caused… he continued to mither me right through high school too 😆

5foot5 · 17/06/2023 22:21

Redglitter · 16/06/2023 01:12

It's just that if she had then surely she'd say so by now

If her daughter has them they're probably lying around somewhere because she's already forgotten about them or hidden them with other treasures 😊

This.

Years ago when DD was small we were invited to a friends house for Sunday lunch. Some other friends with small children were also there. The children were quite good and played well together so the adults could catch up.

A few days later the host rang up, sounding slightly embarrassed, to say that part of an ornamental item had gone missing and could DD maybe have picked it up by mistake and forgotten. DD looked completely blank when we asked, not shifty or embarrassed, but like she genuinely hadn't a clue. Anyway, we searched the toys she had taken with her and sure enough the item was inside her Barbie car. All the kids had been playing with the car so either DD had put it there herself and forgotten or one of the others put it there and she hadn't realised.

We obviously let friends know it had turned up, apologised and returned it to them. However, if they hadn't got in touch chances are this item would have gone undiscovered for months and then we wouldn't have known what it was or where it came from.

Loobieloogold · 17/06/2023 22:44

Sorry OP, I laughed initially as apparently I did this in primary 4 or 5. I am now 46......Teacher called my mum as I was trading them for something with another little girl...... I do not remember this.

Really though, its no biggie - just speak to the other mum

Throughalookingglass · 17/06/2023 23:07

Ring the other mum. Explain what happened. Personally I wouldn't say 'I'd like them back' because that sounds like she definitely has them and you aren't sure of that. Let the other mum know and she can at least search the child's pockets/bag for them.

My DC2 used bring things home from school that other people had supposedly 'given' them. Sometimes I told DC to return them the following day and sometimes I contacted mums of the gifters and asked if they knew their child had 'given' it to my DC. They were always very nice about it.

Wigginsbottom · 17/06/2023 23:52

We used to have a girl who was 3 or 4 years older than my DD in our house quite often, and their play always seemed to involve "hide and seek" through the house. I had noticed that some coins that my husband left around seemed to be disappearing. Then one day when the hide and seek game was going on, I left several £5 notes under some mail in the hallway and noticed they had vanished. I called all of the children into the hall and said "some of my money has gone missing - please help me look for it" which they did - but nothing was found.
My elder daughter was upstairs so I loudly announced I needed to slip out to see my neighbour, but if the money didn't turn up while I was out, I would have to call the police.
When I came back 5-10 mins later, the money had mysteriously reappeared.
But I put a stop to this girl playing hide and seek in our house after that...

TheLadyofShalott1 · 18/06/2023 00:03

Please let us know when you find them OP 💐

Crystalclear13 · 18/06/2023 07:10

I would definitely speak to the child’s mum and ask her to have a look!

canigetitmyself · 18/06/2023 07:31

My 5 yo does this kind of thing too

So do her friends/ she often comes home with trinkets/stuff and I presume takes stuff to school, hidden in pockets, bag etc

When a friend comes, i tell her she cant go in my room and touch my stuff but she doesn't listen as
Mummy's makeup and jewellery is fascinating

Imisssleep2 · 18/06/2023 11:02

Just be honest with the other mum and ask her if her daughter has your rings as your daughter says she gave them to her, but say you know what kids can be like for remembering etc. Sure she won't see it as accusations if you use the right words and tone. Kids are kids at the end of the day

GoodChat · 18/06/2023 20:21

Imisssleep2 · 18/06/2023 11:02

Just be honest with the other mum and ask her if her daughter has your rings as your daughter says she gave them to her, but say you know what kids can be like for remembering etc. Sure she won't see it as accusations if you use the right words and tone. Kids are kids at the end of the day

Inspired

Confusedandanxiety · 08/08/2023 06:22

Did the rings turn up?

Aurora83 · 08/08/2023 17:50

Confusedandanxiety · 08/08/2023 06:22

Did the rings turn up?

ive been wondering too!

Original poster
threeisacharm18 · 08/08/2023 19:21

Nope. Dc keeps insisting the other child put them in her bag. I'm highly doubtful.

A friend suggested claiming them on insurance ... not sure about that though

OP posts:
toomuchlaundry · 08/08/2023 19:38

Have you asked the other parent to check their house?

SamPoodle123 · 08/08/2023 19:52

Have you tried checking your dc bedroom? Perhaps she took them and hid them in her room. That makes more sense then giving them to the friend. When you asked her directly if she gave them to her friend, that is planting the idea in her head. It would have been better to just ask "have you seen my rings?" and perhaps say "I really need my rings back and plan to give an award to whoever can help me find them!" Perhaps your dc is scared now to admit if she took them.

Unicorn2022 · 08/08/2023 20:58

Oh I'm really sorry OP - I'd hoped you had found them Sad

MucozadeOnLucozade · 09/08/2023 19:39

This happened to a friend, had rings on the side and then child had a playdate over and the rings vanished!

Beautiful3 · 12/08/2023 09:46

Have you asked the other mum? If not just message, my rings have gone missing. Daughter said they were both playing with them. I've been looking for weeks. If they turn up at yours, please let me know 😂 That way you're not blaming anyone.

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