My wedding rings are missing and I think my child gave them to a friend

[threeisacharm18]

Long and short of it is - my DC and her friend were playing in my house. They went up to my bedroom where my rings are normally on the nightstand.

Next day I noticed they were missing. I asked DC if she had given my rings to her friend . She said no.

When her friend was leaving she tried to give her a wind chime which I'd discouraged.

Previously D.C. friend had taken an inconsequential item from her house and given it to my dc which I gave back to the mum.

I know my dc has an active imagination and often makes up stories and is susceptible to suggestion. She's 5. Anyway I thought I'd leave it for a day or two and ask her to talk me through the day when her friend came over. And I asked again did she give my rings to her friend and this time she said yes.

Again because she's not always truthful I left it for a day or so and then today I asked her to talk me through the day her friend came.
She told me they found some rings and that she gave them to her friend. I asked her if she gave anything else to the friend and she said she gave the friend a teddy bear which talks. She does have a talking teddy but it's not the colour she told me. However there is a missing teddy among her toys.

So now I have an unreliable child witness and missing personal item.

I need to ask the mum of this child but I don't want to come across as accusatory.

What would you do?

I would have asked the other mum the day they went missing.

I would have said DD has a habit of giving things away and they’ve possibly been put in friends bag without her even knowing.

Similar happened when I was a little younger - except it was the friend who went into my mum's jewellery box, got the rings out, shared them out with the other children and they all went home with them! Mum didn't even know till the mothers started contacting her!

Just call the mum and ask her to have a look round as your daughter gave her the rings and the teddy.

Why would you not just contact the parent, and tell them that your rings are missing, you k ow she didn't take them, but your daughter very well may have given them to her?!

"Hi XX's Mom, our DC we playing dress up the other day and were playing with jewelry. I think one of them may have picked up my wedding ring by accident to play with. You wouldn't have seen it around DC's bedroom or in one of her pockets at all have you? I've looked in DC bedroom and can't see it. Just incase XX still had it when going home."

I think the other mum will understand.

At primary school my 'boyfriend' gave me a brooch, it was very shiny and lovely, I showed my mum who immediately knew I had been given something I shouldn't and returned it. I would imagine this would be the reaction of the majority of parents. I suspect your DD's friend just hasn't shown her Mum so she doesn't know she has them.

I hope you get them back.

Dd "friend" took mine and husbands wedding bands from bathroom ££££.

When we phoned and asked her mum to have a look for them, she refused and said her daughter wouldn't have taken them...

Her child has "borrowed" several items from school. The mum blocked us and would walk off when I approached her.

We replaced the rings but Everytime I look at it I am annoyed.

Why have you left it a day or two and then another day or two? I'm presuming these are expensive items. Why are you being so passive? If you'd call the mum as soon as you'd noticed she would have ask her DD and you'd have them back an hour later. Now you've run the risk of her playing with them or taking them somewhere to show them off. They could be anywhere because you've thought best to sit back and "leave it a day or two".

You should have asked the mom as soon as you'd realised.. the child could have given them to someone else by now

Our house rules at that age for playmates were - no going upstairs at all, bedrooms are private (with the exception of the child's own room if sleeping over) but otherwise they had to bring toys down to play with downstairs.

That way you can see where they are and what they are playing with and that they aren't getting into your makeup or expensive items. And if the child has stuff that they don't want played with, it's then safe in the room.

I can’t believe it took you this long. They are only 5, it’s not stealing as they don’t know the value of things. I hope you get them back.

My son when he was in reception nearly did this. I checked his book bag in the playground before school and found a single one of his socks in it, so took it out and noticed there was something inside.

It was my engagement ring. He said he was taking it to school because he wanted to ask Amelia to marry him and he needed a ring.

Just ask the parents. If you say what you just told us I don’t know how it could come across as accusatory?

I agree... its even more bizarre that a visitor was playing around (unsupervised by and adult even) in the bedroom.

Mumsnet seems to have a thing that bedrooms should be public spaces but I dont get it. Last thing I want it my 5 year olds friend going through my draws coming down stairs asking awkward questions because they found a pack of condoms, or wearing my lacy lingerie or god for bid waving my little vibrating friend around as a magic wand.

In the real world people keep private things in their bedrooms, from xmas/birthday presents through to more serious stuff. I even have things that could be dangerous to a random unsupervised child like left over fertility meds and painkillers in MY private space.

Well it is stealing as stealing isnt about value its about taking something that isnt yours. They might not fully understand this yet so need it explaining to them but explaining it as 'not stealing' when in fact thats exactly what it is (ill intended or not) is doing them a disservice.

Have you been in touch with the parents yet @threeisacharm18 ? Have you been able to locate your wedding rings yet?

It's hard to believe that anyone would piss around for this long whilst their wedding rings were missing. WTF. The longer you leave it the less likely you are to get them back. She could have done anything with them by now. Crazy not to have asked immediately

Why are you asking a child to talk you through the day, are you Columbo?

Did you manage to speak to the other mum?

Hoping the mum meets you at the gate with the rings.
Somehow, I don’t think that’s going to happen.

What I'd do if I valued the missing items is get on to the other dc's mother straight away - as soon as I thought she might have them - and ask. No way would I leave it so long, or bother quizzing a 5 year old about it. I'd make it clear they weren't in trouble, it was a game etc but seriously, I'd treat it w a bit more urgency

In year 3 one of my sons classmates not only took his mums rings he also took a great deal on money off of his fathers nightstand and gave it all to a classmate for valentines day. 😂

I don't understand why you would expect the other childs parents to notice that she has a shiny treasure - do you know 5 year olds at all? They hide things! Especially pretty, shiny, special things!

My eldest put all three of my rings (I wear a stack) in the bin when he was about 3. He told us weeks later whilst he was having a bath. Luckily we were insured etc and a guy came around with two briefcases full of diamond rings, like in a file! I had one made (it was unusual) and chose two others.

I'll let DS know that - I'm sure he'll think that's hilarious 😂

OP posts read like chatbot/AI posts