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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to share a tent with nine men I don’t know

346 replies

Touranosaurus · 19/05/2023 20:43

I have a two-day company event coming up, organised by the parent company in a large international group. The event will be attended by top senior executives from different businesses and countries. According to the agenda, there will be presentations on day 1 followed by departure for an unspecified team-building event, away from the main venue with return travel the following day. I’ve discovered that the secret team-building event is a camping trip which will involve sleeping in tents of ten people, based on pre-assigned teams. The last time there was a company event, I was the only female in my team because it’s not a very diverse company at the top levels. So, this means I can reasonably expect to end up sleeping in a tent with nine men who I don’t know well or at all, who I can expect to encounter in a professional capacity in the future and who may or may not be quite drunk. There will be no privacy and no personal space. The whole thing makes me feel really uncomfortable and I feel sorry for all the people for whom it remains a secret and who will have no choice but to spend the night sleeping in a tent with strangers. But at least I have a chance to make my excuses.

YABU: Camping in a tent with people you don’t know will be character-building and you will have a great time! It would be a shame to miss the whole event because of one night.

YANBU: Sounds bloody awful and it’s unreasonable of the company to expect you to be comfortable with it. Make your excuses and only go to the presentation part.

OP posts:
Flufferblub · 19/05/2023 20:44

YANBU

Eileen101 · 19/05/2023 20:44

No way on earth would I be doing that. Women, yes. Mixed, no chance.

SalviaDivinorum · 19/05/2023 20:45

Absolutely no way

PimpMyFridge · 19/05/2023 20:46

It's a work event, I don't think anyone will behave totally in an out of order way. Take ear plugs and more likely than not you'll have a good/perfectly fine time.

intothegreek · 19/05/2023 20:46

I'd be up for almost anything but wouldn't entertain sleeping in a tent with men I barely know. I don't think it's unreasonable to request male and female sleeping quarters while participating in everything else. Especially when there's a minority of women. I'd even probably be ok with a few other women and the rest men but not as a lone female. Nup!

TheFlis12345 · 19/05/2023 20:46

I wouldn’t be sleeping in a tent with any strangers, let alone that number of men. In fact I would refuse if it was colleagues I know, make or female. I’m a professional adult, not a venture scout!

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 19/05/2023 20:47

Surely they won't enforce mixed sex sleeping arrangements? That sounds pretty risky for the company.

BigFatLiar · 19/05/2023 20:47

Don't care about the ratio of men to women, it's the idea of camping that would be a big no from me.

HadEnough2023 · 19/05/2023 20:47

I'd refuse. Women yes, mixed hell no. Whose idea was that?

EmmaEmerald · 19/05/2023 20:47

I'd say no even if it was women
who comes up with this crazy shit?

BlusteryLake · 19/05/2023 20:47

It's totally inappropriate and I would not be doing that. In my company staff don't even share hotel rooms, even if of the same sex.

TooOldForThisNonsense · 19/05/2023 20:47

YANBU

i wouldn’t be sleeping in a tent with George Clooney far less anyone else

HoldingTheDoor · 19/05/2023 20:47

I wouldn't go camping for anyone or anything because it's hell and with 9 men? Absolutely not!

Spring45Mermaid · 19/05/2023 20:47

Nope wouldn’t do it … and I like camping with my own family not a bunch of folk I work with.

Kfjsjdbd · 19/05/2023 20:47

This sounds horrific. Make an excuse that day. Last year I did team building like this and had to share a tent with my boss. It was awful and I spent the whole time trying to figure out why I hadn’t just made an excuse to start with.

Connect3 · 19/05/2023 20:48

There's no way any big company has organised an event that requires a woman to sleep in a tent with nine male strangers. You've heard rumour. Speak to the organiser .

wildfirewonder · 19/05/2023 20:48

PimpMyFridge · 19/05/2023 20:46

It's a work event, I don't think anyone will behave totally in an out of order way. Take ear plugs and more likely than not you'll have a good/perfectly fine time.

This is so naive. Look at the bloody CBI!

CC4712 · 19/05/2023 20:49

I've been to many away things with work- and never had to share a room. Let alone 9 other people in what sounds like a hotel dorm!

TBH- I wouldn't even been keen on sleeping with other women. I'd want to whip off my bra and get into PJ's and wouldn't feel comfortable with my giant boobs flopping about- even in front of women- let alone 9 men!!!

wildfirewonder · 19/05/2023 20:49

Connect3 · 19/05/2023 20:48

There's no way any big company has organised an event that requires a woman to sleep in a tent with nine male strangers. You've heard rumour. Speak to the organiser .

I agree it could be rumour.

Ask a direct question and state you are not able to participate if you are correct. It is a mad team event.

chipsandpeas · 19/05/2023 20:50

PimpMyFridge · 19/05/2023 20:46

It's a work event, I don't think anyone will behave totally in an out of order way. Take ear plugs and more likely than not you'll have a good/perfectly fine time.

hah you seriously think

Back21970 · 19/05/2023 20:51

Totally inappropriate - definitely stand up for yourself and refuse.

oldestmumaintheworld · 19/05/2023 20:52

I'd sooner resign my job that tolerate this shite. People do not need to put up with this nonsense. Women do not need to put up with this nonsense. It's an excuse to either show off or humiliate. And on top of all of that it's poor management practice.

pollykitty · 19/05/2023 20:52

This is my idea of hell. YANBU.

ILoveToSquanderPromise · 19/05/2023 20:52

Like that's been risk assessed! It'd be a nope from me.

CantFindTheBeat · 19/05/2023 20:53

PimpMyFridge · 19/05/2023 20:46

It's a work event, I don't think anyone will behave totally in an out of order way. Take ear plugs and more likely than not you'll have a good/perfectly fine time.

Sort your boundaries out.

This is not acceptable in any way whatsoever.