To not want to share a tent with nine men I don’t know

[Touranosaurus]

I have a two-day company event coming up, organised by the parent company in a large international group. The event will be attended by top senior executives from different businesses and countries. According to the agenda, there will be presentations on day 1 followed by departure for an unspecified team-building event, away from the main venue with return travel the following day. I’ve discovered that the secret team-building event is a camping trip which will involve sleeping in tents of ten people, based on pre-assigned teams. The last time there was a company event, I was the only female in my team because it’s not a very diverse company at the top levels. So, this means I can reasonably expect to end up sleeping in a tent with nine men who I don’t know well or at all, who I can expect to encounter in a professional capacity in the future and who may or may not be quite drunk. There will be no privacy and no personal space. The whole thing makes me feel really uncomfortable and I feel sorry for all the people for whom it remains a secret and who will have no choice but to spend the night sleeping in a tent with strangers. But at least I have a chance to make my excuses.

YABU: Camping in a tent with people you don’t know will be character-building and you will have a great time! It would be a shame to miss the whole event because of one night.

YANBU: Sounds bloody awful and it’s unreasonable of the company to expect you to be comfortable with it. Make your excuses and only go to the presentation part.

Sounds like something that would have happened in a large Indian owned company I used to work for. They had a family day on which they handed out gifts for the wives. I wondered whether I should get one! I would be finding out the exact details before I committed to attending, and I would be opting out of that part.

Excellent advice

You are definitely NOT being unreasonable! This is a recipe for disaster. And I can imagine there will be several of the men involved who would not feel comfortable with this either. I would seek clarification NOW and let them know that under no circumstances will you be willing to participate if this is the plan. The HR of a sensible company should have so many alarm bells ringing at this suggestion.

(Thinks). Hmm, wonder how 9 women would react if it was the other way round and the guy was Love Island, beach-body 'fit'?

This type of thing could very quickly backfire from being a team building event!

Even forgetting the very real risk of someone being in appropriate.

People are very particular about their sleep, comfort, hygiene etc. Both men and women.

I've organised a stag do where a few of the attendees are now senior male executives and I've never met a bunch of people who complained more about heat, sharing facilities, etc etc.

People get MAD if their sleep is interrupted by someone snoring. Like seriously. This is an idea some people will love. But others will hate. And if its a surprise with little way of backing out it could seriously backfire for the company and potentially even cause team relationships to break down. Could even lead to loosing employees.

Whoever thought of making this a surprise event that's difficult to opt out of was not thinking.

And then of course there is the lawsuit inappropriate element.

I wouldn't want to share a tent with many people I do know, let alone any I don't. And especially men.

I also wouldn't be expecting it so would not be prepared with things that might just make camping tolerable in the first place. I wouldn't make excuses, I'd tell them it isn't an acceptable expectation!

I don't know many women who would be ok with sharing with 9 strangers regardless.

@RocassaCH your post only shows your ignorance

Any woman is entitled to privacy from men she doesn't choose to share accommodation with.

And as for your naive suggestion that nobody will behave inappropriately 'because it's a work event' - really? No men at work ever behave inappropriately towards women?

Don't be absurd.

That's right, because us women are just gagging for it all the time. Really, it's a wonder how we ever get anything done, having to restrain ourselves whenever a handsome chap moseys past. No wonder my skirting boards are in such a state when next door is out with his pressure washer being all manly.

<fans self>

And so what was meant as a harmless tease seems to have exposed the belief of so many that the barrel labelled 'Men' is infested with rotten apples. Instead there are many who find the promotion of 'Naked Attraction' (TV) loathsome, or the Maltesers ad ("... because they think we're at it ...") as humourless as a Parking Ticket.

No sensible company would do this. Absolute recipe for disaster. Leaving themselves open for a lot of comeback on this one..

Um... what?

Where to start? YANBU.

I love it when someone tells me the tv shows to enjoy and the humour I should have.

Wouldn’t sleep in a tent with my own family if I could avoid it, definitely wouldn’t be sleeping in one with anyone from work.

@RocassaCH second @PyjamaFan what are you on about (FYI rhetorical)

Tried to unwatch this thread so many times.

You just work for them. No more. No need to entertain this ridiculous nonsense that involves your sleeping arrangements.Just NO!
If the moron who arranged this stupid event doesn't get it, they should be fired.