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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to share a tent with nine men I don’t know

346 replies

Touranosaurus · 19/05/2023 20:43

I have a two-day company event coming up, organised by the parent company in a large international group. The event will be attended by top senior executives from different businesses and countries. According to the agenda, there will be presentations on day 1 followed by departure for an unspecified team-building event, away from the main venue with return travel the following day. I’ve discovered that the secret team-building event is a camping trip which will involve sleeping in tents of ten people, based on pre-assigned teams. The last time there was a company event, I was the only female in my team because it’s not a very diverse company at the top levels. So, this means I can reasonably expect to end up sleeping in a tent with nine men who I don’t know well or at all, who I can expect to encounter in a professional capacity in the future and who may or may not be quite drunk. There will be no privacy and no personal space. The whole thing makes me feel really uncomfortable and I feel sorry for all the people for whom it remains a secret and who will have no choice but to spend the night sleeping in a tent with strangers. But at least I have a chance to make my excuses.

YABU: Camping in a tent with people you don’t know will be character-building and you will have a great time! It would be a shame to miss the whole event because of one night.

YANBU: Sounds bloody awful and it’s unreasonable of the company to expect you to be comfortable with it. Make your excuses and only go to the presentation part.

OP posts:
JustDoingMe · 24/05/2023 19:38

Hell no!

Isinglass20 · 24/05/2023 20:36

Dixiechick
That is the point the company must consider.
Refuse on grounds of potential damage to company business reputation and consequent loss of business.

Loopylambs · 24/05/2023 20:41

Surely they will put males and females in separate tents ? You might get a tent to yourself ?

bringincrazyback · 24/05/2023 20:54

Apart from anything else, imagine the farting... omg.

Middleagedspreadisreal · 24/05/2023 20:55

What a load of bo**ks these 'team building' things are. Boils my piss.

Macinae · 24/05/2023 21:34

How would this be received by those with religious beliefs? Or a woman who has had to endure sexual assault in the past? Or forcing women in DV situations to lie to their partner about the sleeping arrangement?

These things don't apply to me and I'd absolutely hate it and refuse to do it, but they're not even thinking of the bigger picture and all it's possibilities.

rainydaysandtuesday · 24/05/2023 21:40

Jesus christ

What's your job? I don't see how this is beneficial or useful to any profession

Aside from armed forces. Or scout leader

I miss covid sometimes

🤣

chubbychopsticks · 24/05/2023 22:25

No YANBU at all.
I don't think I'd be attending the event

Somersetgirl1 · 24/05/2023 22:55

EmmaEmerald · 19/05/2023 20:47

I'd say no even if it was women
who comes up with this crazy shit?

People who don't have to go on the daft courses they've devised!

Barbus · 24/05/2023 23:00

Why should you, can't they give you accommodation on your own? OK, team time, but, sleeping with 9 fellows you don't know well is an unreasonable request

Somersetgirl1 · 24/05/2023 23:02

PimpMyFridge · 19/05/2023 20:46

It's a work event, I don't think anyone will behave totally in an out of order way. Take ear plugs and more likely than not you'll have a good/perfectly fine time.

One would like to think that this is the case.....but in reality .....As others have said, apart from dodgy behaviour ( which is why many companies have a sober person keeping an eye on Xmas do's) there are many other reason which others have pointed out such as DV victims, religious reasons. Men too may feel uncomfortable. Quite honestly I think as a professional I don't want to share sleeping place with my colleagues farting all night!! My first career was teaching and I used to camp on CCF trips. I had my own tent when camped out

Biker47 · 24/05/2023 23:14

Just when you thought these bullshit "team building" exercises couldn't get anymore ridiculous. I'd just refuse to go, fuck that.

OnTheBoardwalk · 24/05/2023 23:16

Think OP has long gone and was winding us up. Unless she’s singing kumbaya my lord with her workmates

Justrestingmyeyes1 · 24/05/2023 23:17

I wouldn’t entertain sleeping in a tent with my own family so definitely not with people I don’t know.
I’d be giving this a swerve!

helpplease01 · 24/05/2023 23:24

It's a ridiculous expectation. No way I. Hell would I be sharing a tent with a bunch of men I didn't know! Fuck that.

anon666 · 24/05/2023 23:25

It sounds like a laugh to me. My only worry would be my own snoring.

Mind you I loved all that shite when I was younger, and hung out with blokes a lot, so I'm probably biased.

dontchaknow · 24/05/2023 23:39

I worked for a company that was into this team building crap. They went bust. Is that a coincidence?

AmateurDad · 24/05/2023 23:56

Utter madness.
I am a man and wouldn’t share a tent or room with anyone who wasn’t a family member or close friend

Waterbottleallthetime · 25/05/2023 00:01

PimpMyFridge · 19/05/2023 20:46
It's a work event, I don't think anyone will behave totally in an out of order way. Take ear plugs and more likely than not you'll have a good/perfectly fine time.

WHAT??? No way!

Waterbottleallthetime · 25/05/2023 00:06

Escapefromhell · 19/05/2023 20:58
I have done this in the past on survival style management training events. Everyone sleeps under a tarp or in a tent. You don’t get changes to go to sleep, it is not like anyone exposes themselves. It isn’t as if there is a shower or anything. Just for one or two nights it is fine. No different from falling asleep in a plane full of strangers on a long hall flight

you think that these two things are no different from each other ? wow!

OhcantthInkofaname · 25/05/2023 00:21

TooOldForThisNonsense · 19/05/2023 20:47

YANBU

i wouldn’t be sleeping in a tent with George Clooney far less anyone else

I would with George Clooney.

T1Dmama · 25/05/2023 00:33

Not a chance in hell!
I believe it’s law that females are given a ‘safe’ environment… I wouldn’t go if I had
to sleep in a tent with strangers of any sex to be fair

RachaelN · 25/05/2023 06:37

Nope, not a chance. I would not be putting myself in that situation at all. Everything is fine and dandy until it's not. From personal experience I would be sitting that out.

Bellavida99 · 25/05/2023 07:00

Surely no corporate event organisers would expect you to share any room with anyone let alone people of the opposite sex. Are you sure this isn’t just a huge rumour? Nowhere I have ever worked would even ask you to share a hotel room with someone the same sex as you so this is absurd. I’m pretty sure a lot of religions wouldn’t allow women to sleep in a shared space with drunk men. I think the organisers are on risky ground here

Rosejasmine · 25/05/2023 07:29

I don’t believe they would allow that to happen in this day and age. Too much scope for being sued if nothing else…
20 years ago maybe but not now

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