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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you could choose your baby’s sex for free, would you?

192 replies

Lelophants · 20/04/2023 20:45

Interesting discussion with a friend earlier. She knows two people who flew to USA to do ivf and select their preferred sex of baby (both boys - they had girls already). Clearly they were also v wealthy.

If it was completely free for anyone to do ivf and choose your baby’s sex, would you do it?

YABU - I would never do it
YANBU - ooh I would do this

OP posts:
RollingInTheCreek · 20/04/2023 20:47

I would but I’m a mn heathen- I really wanted a girl both times (and have two girls!). Silly as I know boys are amazing!

StarDolphins · 20/04/2023 20:48

i would!

Tailfeather · 20/04/2023 20:51

I would have chosen a girl but my son is AMAZING and is a real mummy's boy. Very straightforward. Similar aged girls seem much more high maintenance so now I wouldn't change it!!

LT2 · 20/04/2023 20:52

Yes, as I'd love one of each. Not to say I'd be disappointed if I have another boy though.

romdowa · 20/04/2023 20:52

I probably would but I'd want another boy. Where I'd say most people would get the treatment so they'd have a girl

VestaTilley · 20/04/2023 20:53

No. I think it’s obscene and highly unethical.

PinkFluffyUnicornsDancingOnRainbows · 20/04/2023 20:53

I probably would have done, and would have chosen what we actually got by chance (one of each)

OoooohMatron · 20/04/2023 20:53

No. Its taking messing with nature a step too far.

Skybluepinky · 20/04/2023 20:56

Only if there was a high chance of a genetic issue with one of the sexes.

shivawn · 20/04/2023 20:56

I wouldn't, I'm not really sure why but the idea makes me uncomfortable.

Siameasy · 20/04/2023 20:56

Probably not as it sounds like a hassle. IVF is meant to be gruelling.

Easterfunbun · 20/04/2023 20:56

I would if I had only had multiple kids of the same sex. Failing that I have a mixture of both so no I wouldn’t choose currently.

CultureAlienationBoredomandDespair · 20/04/2023 20:57

No, I’ve got one DS and am pregnant with a second. I’d be lying if I said that there wasn’t a pang of disappointment that I’ll never have a daughter (this will be our last child) but all I care about is that he’s healthy. It would be unethical and prone to abuse to have anything like this available.

PrimrosesandPears · 20/04/2023 20:57

No but I didn’t have a preference so wouldn’t have known what to pick if given the choice!

NalafromtheLionKing · 20/04/2023 20:57

Siameasy · 20/04/2023 20:56

Probably not as it sounds like a hassle. IVF is meant to be gruelling.

This. If I could have chosen and not done the IVF, then probably.

Username24680 · 20/04/2023 20:57

I wouldn’t personally 😊 but then I have no interest in finding out the sex anyway. I absolutely loved the surprise of having my little boy and would do it the same way if we are lucky enough to have any more 😊

CatNamedBob · 20/04/2023 20:58

No, but I didn't have any particular preference either time and I got one of each. Maybe if I'd had stronger feelings about it I would see the appeal of getting to choose.

SkyeBlue28 · 20/04/2023 20:58

No, both times I was pregnant I didn’t have a preference. I’m not planning on having a third baby but if I did I think I would leave it to nature again, although there is a part of me that would love a boy (I have two girls).
I don’t see anything wrong or unethical about it if that’s what people choose to do.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 20/04/2023 21:06

I wouldn’t if it involved unnecessary ivf as I think I would find the procedure invasive, I wouldn’t want a specific sex enough to go through it if not needed. But if there was a way to magically click fingers and choose then I would.

MagpieSong · 20/04/2023 21:09

No. I wouldn’t anyway as I don’t feel it’s ethical, but I also have a ds and a dd and would hate for one to feel I preferred the other one and had chosen their sex/gender over another.

HappiDaze · 20/04/2023 21:11

If I had 4/5 boys and wanted a girl and vice Versa then yes of course I would

winkywankie · 20/04/2023 21:11

Yes. I wanted boys, and I got lucky because I got them. Blessed 🫶🏻

Mummyboy1 · 20/04/2023 21:12

For ease I would for my second child. Would love another boy

DrMeredithGrey2023 · 20/04/2023 21:13

I wouldn't have IVF to get a particular sex, but if I could have magically chosen another way, I probably would have.

ItsThePlayBusDingDing · 20/04/2023 21:14

I wouldn't have, purely because I was never really bothered, and I loved all the guessing and what ifs during, otherwise, pretty crappy pregnancies.