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Original poster

If you could choose your baby’s sex for free, would you?

192 replies

Lelophants · 20/04/2023 20:45

Interesting discussion with a friend earlier. She knows two people who flew to USA to do ivf and select their preferred sex of baby (both boys - they had girls already). Clearly they were also v wealthy.

If it was completely free for anyone to do ivf and choose your baby’s sex, would you do it?

YABU - I would never do it
YANBU - ooh I would do this

OP posts:
PassTheDuckie · 20/04/2023 21:42

If I could choose my baby’s sex without the ivf hassle, yea! I mean, actually, still yes, I would. I think I’d have my first child be as mature intended, then pick the opposite sex for child two. I feel very lucky that I got one of each. Have a slight preference for older brother younger sister, which is what I got.
would ideally have b/g twins though. Instead I have 4.5 years, which is not really what I would have chosen.

LaughingCat · 20/04/2023 21:43

Nah…really not bothered. The kid will be the kid they are - what sex they are won’t make a difference to them as a person. I’d rather have the surprise!

ItsHardknocklife · 20/04/2023 21:45

No I wouldn't and I have four girls but I'm happy with that.

Sloop89 · 20/04/2023 21:45

Yup. If i hadn't had a daughter I'd have chosen to have one with number 2.

Coffeeandbourbons · 20/04/2023 21:46

Sloop89 · 20/04/2023 21:45

Yup. If i hadn't had a daughter I'd have chosen to have one with number 2.

I get the feeling if it was possible, this would be the most popular usage

RedToothBrush · 20/04/2023 21:54

No absolutely not.

I wanted a girl. DH wanted a boy.

We didn't want to know before the birth.

When DS was born I was gutted, scared and worried.

But honestly I'm glad and I wouldnt change him for the world.

In hindsight I am relieved I didn't have a girl.

Being able to pick would have caused arguments between me and DH. Ultimately he probably would have said have a girl, but I'd have robbed him of having a son. And I think it would have haunted me as to whether we'd made the 'right choice' too.

If I'm honest now I know I'd not have similar with a girl. It was the best thing for us as a couple.

But I didn't know that whilst I was pregnant. I'm glad fate took the path it did.

Peppadog · 20/04/2023 21:55

I wouldn't want to choose and I think it would be such a shame if the option was available.
I've got 3 adorable boys and having grown up wanting girls, I had no idea what joy boys would bring me. If I could go back now and change to girls? No chance, but if someone had asked me whilst pregnant, I would definitely have chosen at least one girl. I'm so glad I didn't have that choice or I wouldn't have my DS3.

Username84 · 20/04/2023 21:57

I would have chosen different each time! I think what you want changes at different times.

GodspeedJune · 20/04/2023 21:58

We have frozen embryos from IVF and I have no desire to find out their sex. I’m glad we don’t find out the sex of embryos in this country and it’s a surprise.

Lovelyring · 20/04/2023 22:02

I did have a strong sex preference but I wouldn't have done it. It doesn't feel right at all. I think I'd be plagued by what the child I hadn't chosen would have been like. I'd rather leave it to fate and believe it was meant to be.

The exception is if I had a genetic mutation such that one sex baby would die in utero or something.

NaNaNaNaNaNaBaNaNa · 20/04/2023 22:03

I've got 2 boys close together in age and I absolutely love them and how close they are. We don't want a third boy (my husband is one of 3 boys and said one was always left out growing up).

If I could guarantee a girl, I'd get pregnant tomorrow. But I'm not going to pay for that.

TanukiMario · 20/04/2023 22:08

I wanted one of each. So i would have definitely done that for my second!
Luckily my powerful mind was enough to get my wish.
It would have been fine either way, but if theres the possibility to pick I would want to experience both!

Vexar · 20/04/2023 22:10

I would have chosen if I could have. Knowing what I now know, it would have been the wrong choice. So I'm glad I didn't get to do that.

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 20/04/2023 22:12

Not me. I didn't find out what I was having and I loved having the element of surprise to look forward to at birth. It was nice to tell people afterwards too. I know people do find out the sex and pick a name etc. in advance but it's not for me personally.

TheMiddleOfTheMiddle · 20/04/2023 22:14

Never, it’s unethical.

Timeflieswhenyourehavingfun · 20/04/2023 22:17

I’ve never been particularly maternal and never ‘wanted kids’ but I knew deep down that if I ever had a child my preference would be to have girl.

I got pregnant on the pill in very early days of relationship and contemplated terminating.

If I could have chosen the sex I know without doubt I would have chosen a girl.

In the last stages of pushing after 30+ hrs of labour, no sleep, 4 hours of violent vomiting I didn’t wish for a healthy child I wished for a girl.

I’d have been very content to have had more children and not cared what sex they were.

Unfortunately I was diagnosed with secondary fertility but was ok with that as I had a daughter.

if if I had I’d had a boy I would have pursued fertility treatment to have a second child in the hope it would be a girl.

My yearning was more about being the mother of a daughter than being a parent and I honestly don’t know why.

Lwrenagain · 20/04/2023 22:21

Nah, I wouldn't want to choose what I was having but if it could be a surprise and someone tell me instantly because I am so damn nosy, I'd like that 😁

ladygindiva · 20/04/2023 22:23

No, I liked the randomness of waiting and seeing what nature gave me.

Surely2023IsTheYearForMyRainbowBaby · 20/04/2023 22:24

No anyone lucky enough to be able to fall Pregnant and give birth should be grateful for what they get

BettyBoopy · 20/04/2023 22:24

No. I went through IVF 4 times. It's gruelling, painful, embarrassing and absolutely kills your sex life.

Lockheart · 20/04/2023 22:25

Maybe, I'm not that fussed though.

Dontknowwhyidoit · 20/04/2023 22:26

I would have as I had 4 boys but got a girl on my fifth and she is amazing. The boys are great and I am very lucky to have them but I always wanted a girl as well.

Hoolihan · 20/04/2023 22:27

Yes because I really wanted at least one daughter.

SallyWD · 20/04/2023 22:29

No. I think the personality of the child is important, not their sex.

KeeefBurtain · 20/04/2023 22:33

No, I don’t think I would. I have 4, G,B,B,G. I didn’t have a real preference with any.
maybe only feel that way as I have children of both sex, maybe if they were all the same I’d feel differently.