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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

That nobody has sex like on TV?

238 replies

newbieattheschoolgates · 08/02/2023 17:35

Just watching maternal… lady grabs man, they go in cupboard, she’s lifted against wall and he’s straight in.

Similar examples all over the place

or maybe I just haven’t lived… 🤔

OP posts:
MaverickGooseGoose · 08/02/2023 17:36

I did twenty something years ago. Now, not so much!

ThisWOMANWontWheesht · 08/02/2023 17:53

I have no idea how other people have sex, though I must confess my own experiences seem rather vanilla when compared to what I sometimes see on screen.

Sapphire387 · 08/02/2023 17:56

It's often just more portrayals of male-centric sex tbh. I wouldn't want to.

Hups · 08/02/2023 17:56

If my DH tried to lift me up against a wall, he'd end up in traction for years.

Timeforachangeisitnot · 08/02/2023 17:59

Hups · 08/02/2023 17:56

If my DH tried to lift me up against a wall, he'd end up in traction for years.

😂😂😂Me too .
It’s always ‘prettier’ on tv. No strange bits slapping noisily in the background , no muffin tops sneaking out sideways, and the actors faces never look odd when looming over or under each other 🙄Or maybe that’s just in our house 😳

StrawHatOnTheParcelShelf · 08/02/2023 17:59

Never a condom, either!

ConkerBonkers · 08/02/2023 18:02

You're not wrong. Plus that style of sex looks really uncomfortable. It's not real. Just a perpetuated concept of someone's idea of what it's like. It's a nonsense.

JamSandle · 08/02/2023 18:03

I definitely don't. And I'm happy about it!

MadamLeota · 08/02/2023 18:03

Also, all men on TV remove their shirts by grabbing the back of the collar and pulling it over their heads.
In all my years every bloke I've ever seen undress does it from the hem up.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 08/02/2023 18:04

Thanks for the warning OP. I’d recorded it, I won’t bother to watch it.

I really hate this against the wall sex. That used to be synonymous with the least expensive sex workers ( hope this gets through) those who couldn’t afford a room to take their clients to, and the clients didn’t have a car. Now it is being pushed as acceptable, even desirable, for ‘liberated ‘ women. I think it is just part of the push to make women into sex objects for men, always ‘up for it’ and not even wanting a bit of comfort…..it’s grim.

Arniesleftleg · 08/02/2023 18:05

I'll never forget when my then BF, now DH pushed me into the kitchen and lifted me up onto the side. Boy we used to have good sex. Now mind you ...............🙈🤣

SantaBakula · 08/02/2023 18:07

I agree , crash through the door flinging shoes , ties, coats off on the way to the bedroom launch themselves onto the bed while stripping off and straight in , no foreplay just jump on each others bones.

Verses me
Stumble through the front door , fall over the cat , pray the house is tidy , feed said cat , try to unknot shoe laces , dash to bed room to hide stray granny knickers, brush teeth drag comb through hair then if we are still in the mood fumble awkwardly with each other.

jackstini · 08/02/2023 18:08

MadamLeota · 08/02/2023 18:03

Also, all men on TV remove their shirts by grabbing the back of the collar and pulling it over their heads.
In all my years every bloke I've ever seen undress does it from the hem up.

Interesting - mine have always done the pull from the back over the head thing!

I do remember one time when dh (then bf) had been working away and he came in the bedroom, I undid his jeans and sat on him and came in about 5 seconds!

Have occasionally had tv worthy sex - but it's definitely not the norm!

Ginger1982 · 08/02/2023 18:13

It just seems get geared to make pleasure. Unless you're a woman who easily orgasms through PIV, what does the woman get out of it? You never see him giving her a good tickle.

Rookiemama1 · 08/02/2023 18:13

i love that type of sex with my DP, that type of need you now all over each other against the wall sex. We were like that until very recently because I now have a big bump in the way!

AutumnTreacle · 08/02/2023 18:13

😂😂 Yes!

You never see women waddling to the loo to clean up and have a wee so they don’t get cystitis, especially after unprotected sex.
In wall sex scenes they’re always being suspended in mid air by their male partners who not even seem to notice they’re a bit precarious.
Usually both are hairless everywhere, not even a rogue tuft of bum fluff.
With shower sex scenes they all seem to be exactly the right height so the man can stick it in without any bending, moving or cocking a leg up being required.
I remember watching the second season of Bridgerton and thinking based on the period is supposedly set in they sure must go through a lot of candles as the woman had thick jet black hair and there wasn’t a pubic hair in sight.

Its all bollocks!

SeaMills · 08/02/2023 18:15

I really hate this against the wall sex.

I like a bit of against the wall sex occasionally, especially outdoors.

Copperfield27 · 08/02/2023 18:18

No condoms but also never any tissues needed. They just go to sleep in each other's arms rather then grabbing the loo roll in the hope of catching the gloop then grumbling about who gets the damp side.

user567543 · 08/02/2023 18:19

And then wake up in the morning and do it again without needing a tinkle or anything real like that!

newposters · 08/02/2023 18:24

user567543 · 08/02/2023 18:19

And then wake up in the morning and do it again without needing a tinkle or anything real like that!

And no one ever has morning breath either 😂

user567543 · 08/02/2023 18:27

Yes! Ooh let me french kiss you at 6am!

diddl · 08/02/2023 18:28

But then doesn't she shout-"ow, ow, get out" or similar?

So a tad of realism there!!

x2boys · 08/02/2023 18:29

user567543 · 08/02/2023 18:19

And then wake up in the morning and do it again without needing a tinkle or anything real like that!

And no bed head and perfect mskeup🙄

waiyuh · 08/02/2023 18:31

When I watched The Pacific back in 2010 or 2011, I remember being pleasantly surprised by a sex scene where the bloke fumbled around for a bit to guide it in and it was quite sweetly awkward. That was way more realistic than banging it in, no lube, no warm up.

fanjosaysi · 08/02/2023 18:36

SantaBakula · 08/02/2023 18:07

I agree , crash through the door flinging shoes , ties, coats off on the way to the bedroom launch themselves onto the bed while stripping off and straight in , no foreplay just jump on each others bones.

Verses me
Stumble through the front door , fall over the cat , pray the house is tidy , feed said cat , try to unknot shoe laces , dash to bed room to hide stray granny knickers, brush teeth drag comb through hair then if we are still in the mood fumble awkwardly with each other.

Mustn't forget to feed the cat, now where were we?😂

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