Page 2 | That nobody has sex like on TV?

newbieattheschoolgates · 2023-02-08T17:35:05+00:00

Just watching maternal… lady grabs man, they go in cupboard, she’s lifted against wall and he’s straight in. Similar examples all over the place or maybe I just haven’t lived… 🤔

JudgeJ · 08/02/2023 18:43

MadamLeota · 08/02/2023 18:03

Also, all men on TV remove their shirts by grabbing the back of the collar and pulling it over their heads.
In all my years every bloke I've ever seen undress does it from the hem up.

My late OH used to remove hois shirt by grabbing the back of the collar! Sadly that was the only similarity to some of the on screen sex scenes. The one that amazed me was in Road House where Patrick Swayze carried her around the room at the same time!

AllTheWatersTurnedToClouds · 08/02/2023 18:48

You have to feed the cat or they sit and watch you like a little furry pervert 😁

TheOtherBoleynGirls · 08/02/2023 18:49

The idea of someone trying to have sex with me the moment I wake up with a full bladder makes me actually cry. I’d just pre on them.

TheOtherBoleynGirls · 08/02/2023 18:49

Pee!!!

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 08/02/2023 18:49

YANBU.

I also think book sex is ridiculous. butterfly kisses from the feet all the way up the legs. I’d die of boredom 🤣

whymewhynow · 08/02/2023 18:49

Sex against the wall is popular in TV/film because it makes it much easier to keep both people's faces in shot without tricky camera angles.

I think lack of foreplay is appalling but, in many ways, foreplay is a lot more intimate than sex and I think directors get nervous about showing it.

Plus dramatically, it's usually part of the plot that a couple have sex, so timings mean that that is what gets portrayed.

SnuggleBuggleBoo · 08/02/2023 18:51

Women always keep their bras on in TV sex, and wake up with them on the next morning! I can't imagine there are many women IRL who don't just ditch the bra as soon as they have any excuse. Horrible uncomfortable things.

Toddlerteaplease · 08/02/2023 18:51

Some of the servants in Gentleman Jack were doing it. I wondered how they stayed up against the wall!

4plusthehound · 08/02/2023 18:54

Hups · 08/02/2023 17:56

If my DH tried to lift me up against a wall, he'd end up in traction for years.

😀😁😂

Stravaig · 08/02/2023 18:54

Given some 66% of the UK population is overweight or obese, with fitness levels to match, I don't suppose there much standing sex happening at all, much less carrying around or instant entry. A sturdy horizontal surface and a few moments to locate and align organ and orifice is much more likely in real life!

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 08/02/2023 18:57

I just think of the poor spines when up against the wall. No one ever shouts of “ouch”. No one ver sighs exasperated because it’s slipped out and nearly went where it shouldn’t 🤣

Naimee87 · 08/02/2023 18:57

After the day i had i needed a good laugh and this threads done the trick @Timeforachangeisitnot still belly-laughing at this reply and DS is asking whats so funny 😂

Curriedpeanuts · 08/02/2023 18:57

Genuine question. How is standing up face to face sex even possible?
Whenever I tried, the height was wrong and then even on my tip toes the angle was all wrong, it would only work if the penis had a 75° bend in it half way up.

NeedAHoliday2021 · 08/02/2023 18:58

Watching Sex Life and seeing lots of no foreplay sex spoken about line it was out of this world made me turn to dh and say - the director of this is a man! This is a male fantasy not a woman’s. While I don’t have the right to speak on behalf of all women I found it really grim that that was badged as what women want. I really don’t think it is.

4plusthehound · 08/02/2023 19:00

whymewhynow · 08/02/2023 18:49

Sex against the wall is popular in TV/film because it makes it much easier to keep both people's faces in shot without tricky camera angles.

I think lack of foreplay is appalling but, in many ways, foreplay is a lot more intimate than sex and I think directors get nervous about showing it.

Plus dramatically, it's usually part of the plot that a couple have sex, so timings mean that that is what gets portrayed.

keep both people's faces in shot without tricky camera angles.

Well - her face in shot and close up. We usually get the back of his head.

CaveMum · 08/02/2023 19:04

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 08/02/2023 18:04

Thanks for the warning OP. I’d recorded it, I won’t bother to watch it.

I really hate this against the wall sex. That used to be synonymous with the least expensive sex workers ( hope this gets through) those who couldn’t afford a room to take their clients to, and the clients didn’t have a car. Now it is being pushed as acceptable, even desirable, for ‘liberated ‘ women. I think it is just part of the push to make women into sex objects for men, always ‘up for it’ and not even wanting a bit of comfort…..it’s grim.

I remember reading Spike Milligan’s war diaries and he referred to colleagues having a “knee trembler” in a doorway with their girlfriends.

N27 · 08/02/2023 19:04

Curriedpeanuts · 08/02/2023 18:57

Genuine question. How is standing up face to face sex even possible?
Whenever I tried, the height was wrong and then even on my tip toes the angle was all wrong, it would only work if the penis had a 75° bend in it half way up.

Me too!

Lentilweaver · 08/02/2023 19:07

TV sex never seems sexy to me because zero foreplay. It's all thrust thrust thrust and grunt grunt grunt. Like they are working out.

Moonmelodies · 08/02/2023 19:08

NeedAHoliday2021 · 08/02/2023 18:58

Watching Sex Life and seeing lots of no foreplay sex spoken about line it was out of this world made me turn to dh and say - the director of this is a man! This is a male fantasy not a woman’s. While I don’t have the right to speak on behalf of all women I found it really grim that that was badged as what women want. I really don’t think it is.

Actually, Sex Life was written, adapted for tv, and directed, by women.

MistyFrequencies · 08/02/2023 19:08

MadamLeota · 08/02/2023 18:03

Also, all men on TV remove their shirts by grabbing the back of the collar and pulling it over their heads.
In all my years every bloke I've ever seen undress does it from the hem up.

My husband takes his shirt off like this. Little rips in the back of the neck of all his t-shirts because of it.

ILoveCreamCrackersMe · 08/02/2023 19:18

I think foreplay is a bit too graphic to film and probably would sail a bit close to indecency rules.

Nobody needs to see a couple 69ing, using toys or god forbid rimming!

I always find them orgasming together quite funny. Most people do so at different times irl. Or the woman slides her slinky knickers back on. In this house, the granny pants come back on to catch any leftovers after the waddle of shame to the toilet!

But that's TV for you, nobody wants to really see how horrific we look getting it on. Most couples having sex look fugly.

kittensinthekitchen · 08/02/2023 19:19

YABU

Lots of people have lots of different kinds of sex.

Dalekjastninerels · 08/02/2023 19:23

4plusthehound · 08/02/2023 18:54

😀😁😂

Show quote history

I am not of a tiny build; so yes anyone who tried would regret it😂

XenoBitch · 08/02/2023 19:23

The reality will make for dull TV. Who wants to spend 10 min watching the bloke try to thumb in a softie? Or the couple having to stop because one of them has cramp? 😆

Ericaequites · 08/02/2023 19:26

@AllTheWatersTurnedToClouds It’s worse when you have four cats lined up on the blanket chest, looking at you with grave disapproval. As for wet spots, I put down a flannel and flannel backed rubber pad to avoid this.