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AIBU?

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Original poster

That nobody has sex like on TV?

238 replies

newbieattheschoolgates · 08/02/2023 17:35

Just watching maternal… lady grabs man, they go in cupboard, she’s lifted against wall and he’s straight in.

Similar examples all over the place

or maybe I just haven’t lived… 🤔

OP posts:
DesertRose64 · 09/02/2023 00:32

headache · 09/02/2023 00:29

They don’t have what we have paper thin bedroom walls and a teenager on each side who stays up late every night. Kills your mood stone dead.

I have noticed a lot of things I’ve watched recently such as Bridgerton, Lady Chatterly have had a scene of the man giving oral sex. For me this is the best part much more intimate than PIV. I think this is due to far more female writers and directors.

But they also have those intimacy coaches on set now so perhaps that helps. Though I believe sometimes the actors demand to wear a few pairs of pants and have strategic cushions placed between them.

OoooohMatron · 09/02/2023 08:05

Witsendwilly · 08/02/2023 19:54

Correct.

Both mid forties here and lifted up against the wall sex is fairly regular, probably once a fortnight.

It’s not awkward or dumbly if both are up for it. It’s not “standing up sex” because the females legs are wrapped around the male and she is pinned against the wall.

Also, in response to previous posters comments about fanny farts. Once in 30 years of sexual activity has that happened. If everything is properly filled then there isn’t room for air to get in.

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Are you a man? Because this post reads like mansplaining to me. Also a bit Alan Partridge.

QueefQueen80s · 09/02/2023 10:00

Film sex or porn sex.. my sex isn't like either.

QueefQueen80s · 09/02/2023 10:07

@DesertRose64 Erm it's pretty normal to have morning breath and have leaked tiny bits of wee, discharge, fart crumbs, sweat.. morning sex would never appeal without a quick freshen up.

SantaBakula · 09/02/2023 13:03

Mamanyt · 08/02/2023 23:37

My God! You've taken over my sex life, now that I'm not using it anymore! I am SO sorry!

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Unfortunately I have had no use for it either for the past fee years 😪

DesertRose64 · 09/02/2023 13:10

QueefQueen80s · 09/02/2023 10:07

@DesertRose64 Erm it's pretty normal to have morning breath and have leaked tiny bits of wee, discharge, fart crumbs, sweat.. morning sex would never appeal without a quick freshen up.

I hear you.

But I think if someone’s morning breath smells of poo a trip to the Dr or Dentist is advisable.

kennycat · 09/02/2023 17:51

It’s was the ‘straight in’ but if the OP that struck me. Yes I’ve always wondered about that as in my own experience it always requires a fair bit of foreplay and even then rather a lot of wiggling and waggling to get ‘Connected’.
maybe that’s just dried up old me…😂

Ayhbar · 09/02/2023 18:07

on TV there's never any clitoral stimulation either :-(
Though the program Sex Education was much more realistic, refreshingly and reassuringly so.

katia2 · 09/02/2023 18:09

This is what a friend of mine used to call a 'knee-trembler'! I have tried it myself in my youth, and it gave me no pleasure – wrong angle. I think my then partner enjoyed it, but it wasn't his knees that were trembling.

electricmoccasins · 09/02/2023 18:11

savehannah · 08/02/2023 20:10

Screen sex always seems to be PIV with no foreplay. I don't think I've ever seen cunnilingus portrayed on tv/film yet it's one of only ways many women climax

There was a rare scene in Dexter series 4 with Courtney Ford.

DadBodAlready · 09/02/2023 18:24

AllTheWatersTurnedToClouds · 08/02/2023 18:48

You have to feed the cat or they sit and watch you like a little furry pervert 😁

Even after you feed them they still come into the room if you you haven't closed the door, jump on the the bed and still watch you 'like a little furry pervert'. And if you have closed the door sit outside scratching and mewling till you let the damn thing in the room

Mingmoo · 09/02/2023 18:31

SavoirFlair · 08/02/2023 19:48

A bigger question is why do (mainly) British posters on Mumsnet always have to reduce sex to being humorous and awkward, in order to fit in with the previous poster who has also said something vaguely funny and clumsy about sex?

We are not all weird pyjama wearing, granny pants sporting people who rush to find an old towel to avoid the mess.

It’s ok to somehow be slim and athletic, to want to be fucked all over the house, to desire intense and raw sex, and to lie in the aftermath.

Just a different perspective

There's something very unsexy about the phrase 'lie in the aftermath' @SavoirFlair but if it does it for you, good luck. I do think there's something mildly unhinged about thinking you need to be 'slim and athletic' to enjoy sex or to have adventurous sex, and I personally think laughing is a huge part of the fun.

The worst sex I've ever had was on my living room floor. Really not an ideal surface. Bed wins out every time.

Mindgoneblankagain · 09/02/2023 18:31

IcedPurple · 08/02/2023 20:44

Also, what's this thing with being unable to wait until you've shut the front door before ripping each other's clothes off?

Who really has sex while walking into a house?

Oh, there was a time....having a shag came to be known as "bringing in the shopping" as we only got the supermarket bags as far as the hall before having an epic session on the stairs. Sigh....

MarvellousMonsters · 09/02/2023 18:50

newbieattheschoolgates · 08/02/2023 17:35

Just watching maternal… lady grabs man, they go in cupboard, she’s lifted against wall and he’s straight in.

Similar examples all over the place

or maybe I just haven’t lived… 🤔

I watched "Anatomy of a Scandal" last week and it featured at least 2 instances of 'against a wall' face to face sex, no fumbling, knicker-ripping, miraculous vag-seeking peens. I had a fairly interesting youth with plenty of spontaneous sex and never found that to be possible. TV and movie sex is pure fantasy.

Fluffmum · 09/02/2023 18:56

I love how they just pop it up no fumbling 😂

LadyMary50 · 09/02/2023 19:08

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 08/02/2023 18:57

I just think of the poor spines when up against the wall. No one ever shouts of “ouch”. No one ver sighs exasperated because it’s slipped out and nearly went where it shouldn’t 🤣

😂😂😂”slipped out”

ImagineImagine · 09/02/2023 19:11

I has sex like that when I was young. No foreplay was required because it was fast and urgent, and well bloody brilliant! Ah memories

anwensmummy · 09/02/2023 19:13

If it’s the characters I’m thinking of on Maternal, those two actors are actually married in real life, so maybe that is how they do it!

Newnamenewname109870 · 09/02/2023 19:23

OoooohMatron · 09/02/2023 08:05

Are you a man? Because this post reads like mansplaining to me. Also a bit Alan Partridge.

Show quote history

😂😂😂

Agreed but also everyone is made differently. Fanny farts are pretty normal especially if you change angles.

Newnamenewname109870 · 09/02/2023 19:24

ImagineImagine · 09/02/2023 19:11

I has sex like that when I was young. No foreplay was required because it was fast and urgent, and well bloody brilliant! Ah memories

Suddenly since I’m in in my 30s it happens that way for me too 😂 probably my poor body trying to get my pregnant

Botw1 · 09/02/2023 19:24

@Witsendwilly

Thats the cringiest stealth boast I've ever heard in my life

Fanny fart? Never heard of her darling. my vag is super tight.

😂😂

Wimbz20 · 09/02/2023 19:28

MadamLeota · 08/02/2023 18:03

Also, all men on TV remove their shirts by grabbing the back of the collar and pulling it over their heads.
In all my years every bloke I've ever seen undress does it from the hem up.

😆😆 so true !!

midsomermurderess · 09/02/2023 19:31

So often hoiked up against a wall, or in the sink in the kitchen. That’s a no from me.

AnnieSnap · 09/02/2023 20:38

Nicecow · 08/02/2023 20:15

I've noticed there also seems a growing trend of taking the woman 'from behind' ... I'm sure all these scenes were written by men!

I’ve always thought this too, especially as it is so often portrayed as the man just deciding on it and aggressively turning the woman around.

Missingpop · 09/02/2023 21:01

If half of the country had sex like that there would be so many blokes with snapped dicks in A&E; there would be 48 hour waiting times; mainly because the poor nurses are laughing their heads off after being told how they’d broken their cocks 😂

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