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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

That nobody has sex like on TV?

238 replies

newbieattheschoolgates · 08/02/2023 17:35

Just watching maternal… lady grabs man, they go in cupboard, she’s lifted against wall and he’s straight in.

Similar examples all over the place

or maybe I just haven’t lived… 🤔

OP posts:
misssunshine4040 · 08/02/2023 20:30

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 08/02/2023 18:04

Thanks for the warning OP. I’d recorded it, I won’t bother to watch it.

I really hate this against the wall sex. That used to be synonymous with the least expensive sex workers ( hope this gets through) those who couldn’t afford a room to take their clients to, and the clients didn’t have a car. Now it is being pushed as acceptable, even desirable, for ‘liberated ‘ women. I think it is just part of the push to make women into sex objects for men, always ‘up for it’ and not even wanting a bit of comfort…..it’s grim.

I think you're overthinking this a bit too much.

PollyAmour · 08/02/2023 20:30

SnuggleBuggleBoo · 08/02/2023 18:51

Women always keep their bras on in TV sex, and wake up with them on the next morning! I can't imagine there are many women IRL who don't just ditch the bra as soon as they have any excuse. Horrible uncomfortable things.

That's because they have a no nudity clause in their contract.

In real life, there is no such contract. Not in my house anyway.

thepatronsaintofbubblewrap · 08/02/2023 20:31

viques · 08/02/2023 20:10

I am always slightly sniggery at US sex scenes when she always modestly keeps her bra on. Eh? In my experience it’s free the nipples asap.

Yeah me too haha

Wonderpoo · 08/02/2023 20:33

As for wet spots, I put down a flannel and flannel backed rubber pad to avoid this.

I don’t think I have ever ever read anything as unsexy as this statement

MotherOfUnicorns4 · 08/02/2023 20:33

I've been watching a Netflix series that showed two teenagers losing their virginity. I did think that it wasn't anything like my own experience. Theirs was all knowledge of what they were doing and loving and passionate. Mine was awkward, painful and not the slightest bit enjoyable. The good sex didn't start for a few years after that!

LuckySantangelo35 · 08/02/2023 20:34

OldFan · 08/02/2023 20:21

I've had some good sex and thankfully I like PIV and so straight into it can hit the spot if I'm in the mood.

It'd be nice to experience that again one day when I find someone and marry, God willing. Smile

@OldFan

why wait til you’re married?!

Oigetoffmylawn · 08/02/2023 20:34

I've not been able to successfully have sex up against a wall. But other types of TV sex I've definitely had.

Phatgurlslym · 08/02/2023 20:39

Do people like seeing sex scenes on tv? I really don’t like it anymore. I wish they would leave it to our imaginations. I find tv sex is like watching soft porn. I always feel sorry for the actors.

saymynamex · 08/02/2023 20:40

I always thought the sex scenes in 'the affair' between the married characters were quite good and realistic. Especially Alison and her husband (Joshua Jackson). I am quite a fan of the straight in there shag but there is a time and a place!

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 08/02/2023 20:43

You're right.

With these new slim-line, wall-mounted televisions it is nigh on impossible. Especially with my big bum.

A grand piano is about the right size now.

Poppins2016 · 08/02/2023 20:43

SnuggleBuggleBoo · 08/02/2023 18:51

Women always keep their bras on in TV sex, and wake up with them on the next morning! I can't imagine there are many women IRL who don't just ditch the bra as soon as they have any excuse. Horrible uncomfortable things.

Only commenting for balance, but I find my (standard, underwired) bras quite comfortable and easy to sleep in (which I sadly do quite a lot during the day at the moment)!

Hups · 08/02/2023 20:43

MotherOfUnicorns4 · 08/02/2023 20:33

I've been watching a Netflix series that showed two teenagers losing their virginity. I did think that it wasn't anything like my own experience. Theirs was all knowledge of what they were doing and loving and passionate. Mine was awkward, painful and not the slightest bit enjoyable. The good sex didn't start for a few years after that!

I was clueless. I just laid there like a plank with my feet planted firmly on the mattress. I didn't know what I was supposed to do with my hands, so I parked them on the mattress too.
To be fair, he was as clueless as me 😂

IcedPurple · 08/02/2023 20:44

Also, what's this thing with being unable to wait until you've shut the front door before ripping each other's clothes off?

Who really has sex while walking into a house?

PrincessHoneysuckle · 08/02/2023 20:46

I'll always remember my fwb ex doing EXACTLY what I'd described as my perfect sex including being picked up and slammed against a wall mmmmm

IcedPurple · 08/02/2023 20:47

user567543 · 08/02/2023 18:19

And then wake up in the morning and do it again without needing a tinkle or anything real like that!

And one of them, usually the woman, sits up in bed, slides on her jeans which are of course conveniently placed right next to the bed, grabs her phone and waltzes out. Just like that! No shower, nothing.

Yuck.

Zanatdy · 08/02/2023 20:49

My sex life is quite exciting as I’ve got a new boyfriend who is great in bed! When he tried to pick me up though he dropped me! Won’t try that when we have been drinking again!

IcedPurple · 08/02/2023 20:49

SnuggleBuggleBoo · 08/02/2023 18:51

Women always keep their bras on in TV sex, and wake up with them on the next morning! I can't imagine there are many women IRL who don't just ditch the bra as soon as they have any excuse. Horrible uncomfortable things.

That bra thing is hilarious I think. So we're meant to believe they're having wild passionate sex but the woman keeps her bra on!

Plus on the rare occasions when the woman does take off her bra, there are never any red marks from the elastic and the knickers are always perfectly matching.

WalfordBarbwireFence · 08/02/2023 20:49

Only came here because one of your long-standing members whom I interact with on another part of the internet referred me to what I am assured is an excellent dismantling of Owen Jones over his alleged misogyny in The Guardian and in other places and this thread's title was headlining and completely diverted my attention (quelle surprise!).

Can't disagree with any of the observations and comparisons but would add that on-screen sex (in mainstream productions; let's not even go near porn) is, as observed, totally unrealistic - no fumbling, no awkwardness, no stuck fly zips, no Bridget Jones pants, no "Oi! Take your bloody socks off, you horror!", no "You need to wash that before you've any hope of getting a blowie!" and all the other points raised already.

But have you noticed that a couple will go at it hammer and tongs all night, exploring every naked inch of each others bodies and then she'll coyly wrap the sheet around her like she's mummifying herself before toddling off to the 'fridge, "powder room" or whatever? I mean, what is there that he hasn't seen? My partners have all just got up and wondered off to the bathroom in the altogether, then wondered back. As is also my wont.

And in pretty much every Hollywood production at the very least a sexual encounter must, by law, include a "his naked, waxed butt in the moonlight" shot. Or is that just my imagination?

Speaking of butts - or, specifically, assholes - I must go and find that swipe at Owen Jones so I can get out of your hair and leave you all in peace.

GoldDuster · 08/02/2023 20:52

MadamLeota · 08/02/2023 18:03

Also, all men on TV remove their shirts by grabbing the back of the collar and pulling it over their heads.
In all my years every bloke I've ever seen undress does it from the hem up.

Oh my god, this is so true 😂

TheDalaiShawarma · 08/02/2023 20:55

And they always roll straight into bed to shag despite having been dancing all night, or doing DIY, or working all day. Not even a cursory wipe of the bits with a damp flannel 😷

Rewis · 08/02/2023 20:58

I've never witnessed sexy undressing IRL!

neverbeenskiing · 08/02/2023 20:58

I was watching Bodies (which is a bit dated now) and got really annoyed by the sex scenes. Foreplay does not exist in the world of this show, the main character just has to enter a woman and she will orgasm immediately. The vast majority of women IRL need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, but how often do you see it on TV? Just a couple of thrusts and she's screaming. No wonder some men are completely clueless.

XenoBitch · 08/02/2023 20:58

IcedPurple · 08/02/2023 20:44

Also, what's this thing with being unable to wait until you've shut the front door before ripping each other's clothes off?

Who really has sex while walking into a house?

Dramatic effect. Means there is sizzling sexual chemistry between the characters.
In reality, it would be a chat over some cocktails, and a drunken fumble.

WalfordBarbwireFence · 08/02/2023 21:00

Further to my last, I forgot to include reference to couples who've been on the lash most of the night never have bladder-related issues, accidents or any instances of Brewer's Droop, either.

neverbeenskiing · 08/02/2023 21:01

Also has anyone here ever removed the sheet from the bed and wrapped it around themselves when they get up after sex??? Because women on TV always do this and it strikes me as a really odd thing to do.