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AIBU?

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Original poster

That nobody has sex like on TV?

238 replies

newbieattheschoolgates · 08/02/2023 17:35

Just watching maternal… lady grabs man, they go in cupboard, she’s lifted against wall and he’s straight in.

Similar examples all over the place

or maybe I just haven’t lived… 🤔

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 08/02/2023 21:01

Only time I’ve had sex with my bra on is when I was bf and my nipples were so sensitive I couldn’t take it off. I usually whip it off if my bf gets distracted with my lower half as he always takes my bottom half off first for some reason, opposite to what I’ve been used to!

TheCatsMakethTheHome · 08/02/2023 21:01

AllTheWatersTurnedToClouds · 08/02/2023 18:48

You have to feed the cat or they sit and watch you like a little furry pervert 😁

Too true 😂

PuttingOnTheKitsch · 08/02/2023 21:03

Lentilweaver · 08/02/2023 19:07

TV sex never seems sexy to me because zero foreplay. It's all thrust thrust thrust and grunt grunt grunt. Like they are working out.

It's all very IKEA tab A into slot B stuff. Very functional.

IcedPurple · 08/02/2023 21:03

neverbeenskiing · 08/02/2023 21:01

Also has anyone here ever removed the sheet from the bed and wrapped it around themselves when they get up after sex??? Because women on TV always do this and it strikes me as a really odd thing to do.

It's funny how we're meant to believe that they've spent all night having wild sex, but once the sun comes up they become terribly modest. Obviously I get that the actors don't want to have their bits on view, but like the women having sex with their bras on, it's just a bit silly.

Rewis · 08/02/2023 21:06

MadamLeota · 08/02/2023 18:03

Also, all men on TV remove their shirts by grabbing the back of the collar and pulling it over their heads.
In all my years every bloke I've ever seen undress does it from the hem up.

Our football shirts were supose to be washed inside out (so numbers are on the inside). The kit manager always complained how the mens team teams shirts were always outside out cause they pulled it from the collar. Where as women's were correctly inside out cause we took shirts of from the hem.

Rewis · 08/02/2023 21:08

Also there is no towel retrieving. And changing positions tends to be so smooth. I wish I was that smooth.

Biffsboys · 08/02/2023 21:11

MadamLeota · 08/02/2023 18:03

Also, all men on TV remove their shirts by grabbing the back of the collar and pulling it over their heads.
In all my years every bloke I've ever seen undress does it from the hem up.

My Dh and ds both remove their shirts like this and it irrationally annoys me 🤣

deeperthanallroses · 08/02/2023 21:12

user567543 · 08/02/2023 18:27

Yes! Ooh let me french kiss you at 6am!

I am mystified as to how people kiss in the mornings!!

StayGoldenPonyGirl · 08/02/2023 21:12

TheDalaiShawarma · 08/02/2023 20:55

And they always roll straight into bed to shag despite having been dancing all night, or doing DIY, or working all day. Not even a cursory wipe of the bits with a damp flannel 😷

Brilliant bit in Pullling (BBC) where Louise goes to the bathroom and it shows her ,one leg on the lid, using a damp flannel to freshen the flaps. Love it!

I like the sat up/stood up face to face position, but i cannot relax entrusting my gravity to another human...must be comfortably perched.

And I have an internal gyroscope...no orgasm unless in the horizontal position.

Rainbowshit · 08/02/2023 21:13

Oh god up against the wall sex is my ideal.

One of my best ever was in the loos (single lockable cubicle with floor to ceiling door) in a bar with someone I was seeing. Sounds really tacky now I'm describing it but wow it was amazing.

So turned on from the conversation we'd been having over drinks that there was no need for foreplay.

Him nearing orgasm pushed me over the edge and we both came together.

It was definitely tv/movie sex.

DH and I have never successfully managed wall sex unfortunately.

Don't think my gammy knee could take it these days anyway. 😂

Witsendwilly · 08/02/2023 21:23

deeperthanallroses · 08/02/2023 21:12

I am mystified as to how people kiss in the mornings!!

Show quote history

Do people in relationships really not kids (or full on snog ready for morning sex) without brushing their teeth first?

Seems odd to me. We just wake up and go at it, or one of us wakes up and initiates while the other is asleep!

Benjispruce4 · 08/02/2023 21:23

@TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl you've just made me spit my tea out! 😂

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/02/2023 21:23

I had this type of sex in my youth. On holiday in the tiny utility room found on every floor at the hotel. My feet on the opposing wall.. Zero fore play.

beachcitygirl · 08/02/2023 21:24

I absolutely did in my twenties.. not so much Now, prefer happy valley & my jammies

IcedPurple · 08/02/2023 21:26

freshen the flaps

Freshen the flaps!

Sharon Horgan is very much a realist when it comes to such matters, so not surprising the flap freshening would happen in one of her dramas! Not so common elsewhere in the world of TV sex.

Lovinmyblanket · 08/02/2023 21:27

Witsendwilly · 08/02/2023 21:23

Do people in relationships really not kids (or full on snog ready for morning sex) without brushing their teeth first?

Seems odd to me. We just wake up and go at it, or one of us wakes up and initiates while the other is asleep!

Show quote history

And that seems mega odd to me

PeanutButterSmoothie · 08/02/2023 21:27

I think the average British female is a little bit ahem 'curvier' than most actresses. You'd need some serious forward pressure to keep them against the wall. 😂

cavalier · 08/02/2023 21:34

😆😆😆👍

neverbeenskiing · 08/02/2023 21:39

Witsendwilly · 08/02/2023 21:23

Do people in relationships really not kids (or full on snog ready for morning sex) without brushing their teeth first?

Seems odd to me. We just wake up and go at it, or one of us wakes up and initiates while the other is asleep!

Show quote history

Same here. We're big fans of first thing in the morning sex, or early hours of the morning if one of us happens to wake up and decides to initiate something. Never been an issue. If you brush your teeth well the night before your breath really shouldn't be that disgusting in the morning!

OldFan · 08/02/2023 21:41

@LuckySantangelo35 I'm Catholic and I'm on convert so I'm all in Grin

OldFan · 08/02/2023 21:41

*a convert

OldFan · 08/02/2023 21:45

I will never, ever have morning sex again (or maybe on honeymoon IDK.) I don't do mornings. Last ex would get me to do sex stuff at 6/7am or whatever. Ugh!

OldFan · 08/02/2023 21:52

Have y'all noticed a slightly more recent thing (mainly American?) on Netflix or whatever.

Say for instance in Sex/Life.

The bloke goes under the covers to perform oral on the woman and all we saw was the woman's expressions and supposedly that was supposed to get us going maybe.

I don't like receiving oral so it did nothing for me at all, and there was nothing to look at.

Supposedly it's so they don't have to show nudity or anything.

DuesToTheDirt · 08/02/2023 21:53

MadamLeota · 08/02/2023 18:03

Also, all men on TV remove their shirts by grabbing the back of the collar and pulling it over their heads.
In all my years every bloke I've ever seen undress does it from the hem up.

DH does this, with jumpers at any rate. I don't get it - what a weird way to take your clothes off.

Witsendwilly · 08/02/2023 21:53

OldFan · 08/02/2023 21:45

I will never, ever have morning sex again (or maybe on honeymoon IDK.) I don't do mornings. Last ex would get me to do sex stuff at 6/7am or whatever. Ugh!

Morning sex is the best sex!!

A Manx testosterone levels are normally at their highest at about 8am and lowest at around 8pm.

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