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AIBU?

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Original poster

That nobody has sex like on TV?

238 replies

newbieattheschoolgates · 08/02/2023 17:35

Just watching maternal… lady grabs man, they go in cupboard, she’s lifted against wall and he’s straight in.

Similar examples all over the place

or maybe I just haven’t lived… 🤔

OP posts:
Hibye23289 · 08/02/2023 19:54

I had up against the wall sex the other day with ex and it went straight in 👀

Sexypyjamas · 08/02/2023 19:59

OoooohMatron · 08/02/2023 19:33

YANBU. Nobody ever does an embarrassing fanny fart do they?

I did this last night (tmi I know) and I was mortified. DH is really good and said don't worry it just means you're turned on. It never happened before children and my vagina turned into the Grand Canyon.

I don't get the wall sex, it looks fun but how the hell? Me and DH are the clumsiest fuckers going, we'd end up in hospital.

As for TV, I did see a sex scene this week, which was a weird one. It was one of those Russia programmes on BBC4 and a Russian married couple were making porn (to make ends meet early 90s), naked, he was in bed and she was rubbing her body all over his making weird noises, at that point they weren't having sex. It was the strangest thing I'd ever seen. It was really weird.

BellePeppa · 08/02/2023 20:02

I’ve done that kind of thing (up against walls, in cupboardy type things etc l) all very dramatic and erotic but that was in my younger, slimmer, prettier days. Have absolutely no desire to do any of that now but glad I did then.

NeedAHoliday2021 · 08/02/2023 20:05

@Moonmelodies i forgot I did look it up and was thoroughly depressed. Clearly I blocked out the reality.

Hedjwitch · 08/02/2023 20:06

I thought all blokes pulled off shirts and jumpers over the back of their heads?

viques · 08/02/2023 20:10

I am always slightly sniggery at US sex scenes when she always modestly keeps her bra on. Eh? In my experience it’s free the nipples asap.

savehannah · 08/02/2023 20:10

Screen sex always seems to be PIV with no foreplay. I don't think I've ever seen cunnilingus portrayed on tv/film yet it's one of only ways many women climax

Ludo19 · 08/02/2023 20:13

SantaBakula · 08/02/2023 18:07

I agree , crash through the door flinging shoes , ties, coats off on the way to the bedroom launch themselves onto the bed while stripping off and straight in , no foreplay just jump on each others bones.

Verses me
Stumble through the front door , fall over the cat , pray the house is tidy , feed said cat , try to unknot shoe laces , dash to bed room to hide stray granny knickers, brush teeth drag comb through hair then if we are still in the mood fumble awkwardly with each other.

My experience too 🤣

SpookyBlackCat · 08/02/2023 20:13

viques · 08/02/2023 20:10

I am always slightly sniggery at US sex scenes when she always modestly keeps her bra on. Eh? In my experience it’s free the nipples asap.

I think that’s more about actresses insisting on no nudity clauses, which I respect.

user567543 · 08/02/2023 20:14

Bridgerton series 2, episode 7! Agree, otherwise...!

Nicecow · 08/02/2023 20:15

I've noticed there also seems a growing trend of taking the woman 'from behind' ... I'm sure all these scenes were written by men!

viques · 08/02/2023 20:15

SpookyBlackCat · 08/02/2023 20:13

I think that’s more about actresses insisting on no nudity clauses, which I respect.

Show quote history

So do I, but they could at least pretend to take her bra off, just for realism!

enweto · 08/02/2023 20:17

I read this “nobody likes sex on TV” and was about to agree - it’s always really cringe especially when watching with elderly relatives.

Hups · 08/02/2023 20:18

@SavoirFlair I'm nearly sixty, I did all my rampant when I was younger and fitter and erm, well just went like a belt fed wombat.

@Witsendwilly it seemed to happen more as I got older, almost like air was being forced in, in certain positions. Then when he pulled out a queef would follow him, sometimes he would be unlucky enough to catch backdraft too, such would be the power of the queef.

Talking of positions, in films another one is when the blokes on top. She's propped up on pillows and he manages to somehow not only get it in, but keep it in while doing the slow hump. How? She's not wearing her knees as earrings, so how is he managing it?

Lentilweaver · 08/02/2023 20:20

fanjosaysi · 08/02/2023 19:51

Talking about having lustful raw sex isn't very entertaining though, would be a bit odd and boring. Prefer hearing about grinch nighties and nosy cats but just me

Doesn't mean people don't do that kind of thing too, just why would anyone want to talk about that

Show quote history

I am not British and I find this thread very entertaining. Why does everything have to be so serious? I assume the OP was being lighthearted.

OldFan · 08/02/2023 20:21

I've had some good sex and thankfully I like PIV and so straight into it can hit the spot if I'm in the mood.

It'd be nice to experience that again one day when I find someone and marry, God willing. Smile

OldFan · 08/02/2023 20:23

Doesn't mean people don't do that kind of thing too, just why would anyone want to talk about that

@fanjosaysi It can be fun to talk about sex sometimes.

OldFan · 08/02/2023 20:24

@Lentilweaver Maybe Fanj was mocking any buzzkills on the thread IDK. I'd rather talk about diets and cat litter Wink

PrincessHoneysuckle · 08/02/2023 20:24

It annoys me when they always cum at the same time! I can only come orally so I get envious when I see it on telly

Hups · 08/02/2023 20:24

enweto · 08/02/2023 20:17

I read this “nobody likes sex on TV” and was about to agree - it’s always really cringe especially when watching with elderly relatives.

Guaranteed the elderly female relative will ask if anyone wants a cup of tea, while elderly male relative is staring at the TV 😂

OldFan · 08/02/2023 20:26

I've noticed there also seems a growing trend of taking the woman 'from behind' ... I'm sure all these scenes were written by men!

@Nicecow My favourite (unless you mean bum love.) Dunno why, just must be somehow how my anatomy's set up, everyone's clit etc are supposedly in a slightly different position.

Sallyh87 · 08/02/2023 20:27

Hups · 08/02/2023 17:56

If my DH tried to lift me up against a wall, he'd end up in traction for years.

😂😂

Lentilweaver · 08/02/2023 20:27

OldFan · 08/02/2023 20:24

@Lentilweaver Maybe Fanj was mocking any buzzkills on the thread IDK. I'd rather talk about diets and cat litter Wink

I was agreeing with @fanjosaysi but ended up quoting wrongly. Pah.

I like hearing about nosy cats and grinch nighties too, is what I meant to say.

RainLover · 08/02/2023 20:28

I love against the wall sex! Even better without a wall, thinking of DH standing and holding me in the middle of the kitchen is a … nice flashback to think of at certain times. Not every day kind of sex, but it definitely happens outside of TV! I had no idea of sex worker connotations PP mentioned, but certainly won’t put me off.

SnowyGiveAway · 08/02/2023 20:29

SavoirFlair · 08/02/2023 19:48

A bigger question is why do (mainly) British posters on Mumsnet always have to reduce sex to being humorous and awkward, in order to fit in with the previous poster who has also said something vaguely funny and clumsy about sex?

We are not all weird pyjama wearing, granny pants sporting people who rush to find an old towel to avoid the mess.

It’s ok to somehow be slim and athletic, to want to be fucked all over the house, to desire intense and raw sex, and to lie in the aftermath.

Just a different perspective

@SavoirFlair yes if course it's okay to be young and slim and want your muscle bound fit young thing to throw all of your dishes on the floor so he can mount you on the table. We know it's ok because we see it all.the.time.

It's also quite boring. Far more interesting and realistic (for me anyway) to talk about the sex that follows a conversation about who has the car tomorrow and who's doing the school run, and involves wobbly bits wobbling, and also involves foreplay because most woman want and need that, and also involves I Love You, but might also involve ouch you know my shoulder is sore move over, and culminates in orgasms and also handing loo roll around.

That kind of sex can be really, deeply satisfying and sexy too. It's probably what most people have most of the time, but is somewhat underrepresented on TV!!!