To expect MIL to put some pyjama bottoms on on?

[BillHadersNewWife]

I genuinely don't know. I had a thread about her staying with us the other day...she's 75 and has sold her house and is meant to be looking for another. She goes to bed but then gets up a few times...normal things...back and to the kitchen for a drink or to the bathroom whatever. Bur she's always wearing a t shirt and knickers...and it's not a long nightie type t shirt but one that just sits above her knickers.

I find this so...invasive or something. I just dont want to see MIL in her knickers. However...I am admittedly a bit of a prude sometimes.

Should I say something or not? Jokingly maybe?

Yeah I wouldn’t want to see that either but I don’t know what you can say really. She clearly doesn’t see anything wrong with it so may well get offended if you bring it up

Wouldn't bother me as long as nothings falling out but it's your house and if you feel uncomfortable then you should probably say something.

Eugh! That's revolting 🤢

Lol that's a bit much

My mil once came down to brekkie without a bra

Now I know she's French and all that but blardy Nora

Speak to your DH and get him to say something

I wouldn't personally do it outside of my own home but it's not actually more revealing than a swimming costume?

Not sure why women have to always wear at bra either!

I wouldn't do this but I wouldn't ask someone staying with me not to
I have become more and more prude the older I get and I find even my mom and sister blasé with being naked with me but then I've just been married and settled for ten years and I used to be very unhinged and destructive and sexually disinhibited. It caused me a lot of pain and so I am very prude now
I would not have a problem with anyone else doing this

That's grim, and I'd find it grim for anyone to do it over the age of 10. Tell her to put a dressing gown on fgs.

Dh needs to buy her a dressing gown and if it's less awkward, say the neighbours are gawpers

I read your other thread. She’s really making herself at home isn’t she? I’d lend her a dressing gown with a smiling comment about her state of undress making you and DH blush.

And DH needs to have a really serious talk about next steps. Maybe a short term rental while she evaluates what she wants.

As long as she's wearing pants I think that's OK. As others have said it's no worse than a swimming costume. Personally I wear pyjamas to walk about in but wouldn't feel it necessary to put on a bra.

If she's getting up in the night I think it's fine. I'm sure a bloke would pop to the loo in boxers and think nothing if it

Such a variation of answers! That's even harder for me to decide what to do. I'm genuinely jarred by it every time I see it. It's nothing to do with her age...I'd feel the same if it were my SIL. Damn. Maybe dh could say something

It depends on the woman. I’m a 32J and breastfeeding so I have to wear a bra because otherwise my nipples drag on the floor.

It's not the night really but around 8...she goes to bed early but we live on one floor so we see her wandering when we're watching telly or in the kitchen

But that is for your own comfort and convenience not an expectation from other people.

@mackthepony
Nothing wrong with a braless breakfast!

I've found 4 nice properties she can look at and dh js going to show her them tomorrow.

Assuming she was wearing a tshirt I'm not sure what the issue is?

I would find that a bit odd but she's not actually doing any harm. I'd leave it.

Presumably she was clothed though?

What's wrong with going braless? Genuine question - I can;t understand why it would disconcert you enough to post about it.

Do you object to her wearing a swimming costume, too?

If it were at a time where you wouldn’t reasonably expect to see other people (popping down for a glass of water at 3am) then I think she’s fine. But walking around in your underwear in someone else’s home when you know you’ll see them is rude and invasive. It would be rude if a man wanted to wander around other people’s homes in his pants and he’d probably be accused of being a pervert. I’m in my pants a lot of the time but not when I have guests and not when I’m a guest in someone else’s house.

And, to everyone saying it’s no more revealing than swimwear, I’d personally find it bloody odd to wear swimwear as a guest in someone else’s house, wouldn’t you?

But why would OP want to witness her MiL in a swimming costume in her kitchen either?

It’s grim. Ask your DH to tell
her he’d prefer if she wore a dressing gown.