To expect MIL to put some pyjama bottoms on on?

[BillHadersNewWife]

I genuinely don't know. I had a thread about her staying with us the other day...she's 75 and has sold her house and is meant to be looking for another. She goes to bed but then gets up a few times...normal things...back and to the kitchen for a drink or to the bathroom whatever. Bur she's always wearing a t shirt and knickers...and it's not a long nightie type t shirt but one that just sits above her knickers.

I find this so...invasive or something. I just dont want to see MIL in her knickers. However...I am admittedly a bit of a prude sometimes.

Should I say something or not? Jokingly maybe?

Just choked on my coffee! 😂

I don't bother with a bra either....

Lend her a dressing gown and ask to cover up?!

Sounds clearly a sign 🤔 of either start of serious Dementia disorder issues...

Turn the heat down.
Get her into a dressing gown by stealth.

I have always assumed I am quite uptight, but reading these responses, perhaps not!

I don't see any issue really. When I saw the post title I thought you meant she was wandering around with no knickers on.

Er why ?? Did you just make that up?

It’s probably easier if your OH says ‘mum, I really don’t want to see you in your underwear, could you wear some pyjamas?’ In a light hearted sort of way. Rather than having a serious chat with her.

People have different personal boundaries, so I’m not sure whether YABU or not!

I don't know...I grew up with a mum who had everything off apart from her knickers in the back garden as soon as the sun came out. The didn't change regardless of who I happened to bring home - her garden, her rules! She is almost 79 now and still the same!

Me personally - I sleep in a tshirt and pants but if I am staying at someone else's house I will wear PJ's (even though I don't find them comfortable).

So I think wearing a t shirt and pants to sleep/around the house is fine if it is your house but would find it a little strange to do it in someone else's house. Perhaps a longer t-shirt that covers her underwear might be a compromise?

Maybe tell her you are downsizing. After all when she gets her new place that spare room worn9 be needed. She needs to chop chop or will be sharing a tent with you and dh if you sell first...

Op I'd find a longer t-shirt / night shirt for her.
'I was rumbling in the sale rack and found this in your size though you might like it' and hope she takes the hint.

At least she has knockers on

Hilarious typo!

Your house is warm enough for T shirt and pants??????? That’s where the issue is…. Nobody could try that here without frostbite in unfortunate places!

How strange that this bothers so many people. It it’s kind of ageist of you all, no?

I wouldn’t mind this at all unless there were things hanging out. It’s interesting to see other people’s bodies if they’re willing to share, let them!

Is this a real answer???

You have the start of dementia if you were your knickers to go to the toilet???

*wear not were.

Or just say 'MIL, can you not walk around in yer undercrackers, plz'? or some version thereof instead of expecting her to mindread and/or pick up hints.

Assuming her knickers aren't skimpy enough that she's exposing herself, and that she does actually get dressed after breakfast, I think you're being ridiculous. And who would ever wear a bra under their pyjamas?

All the nope.

OP it very much depends on how the rest of you dress at home. If you & DH are generally modest, she needs to respect that and cover up. If either of you wander about in your underwear, then it’s fair game for MIL.
Sounds like you are the former , which is fine, and it’s fine for you to request that she covers upon your house.
That MN classic - your house, your rules.

The same people who wear pants. I seem to recall threads on this very issue.

I think sign of dementia would be when she forgot where the toilet was.

I would mind. I said as much in another comment.

‘Invasive’ like Japanese knotweed?

Nothing to do with her age. I said that above. I don't walk around like that and neither do my dds or husband.