To expect MIL to put some pyjama bottoms on on?

[BillHadersNewWife]

I genuinely don't know. I had a thread about her staying with us the other day...she's 75 and has sold her house and is meant to be looking for another. She goes to bed but then gets up a few times...normal things...back and to the kitchen for a drink or to the bathroom whatever. Bur she's always wearing a t shirt and knickers...and it's not a long nightie type t shirt but one that just sits above her knickers.

I find this so...invasive or something. I just dont want to see MIL in her knickers. However...I am admittedly a bit of a prude sometimes.

Should I say something or not? Jokingly maybe?

Good grief - she's covered up. She's 75 and likely doesn't think she's got anything to show now. I'd just ignore it or turn off the heating all night so she wears a dressing gown.

She'd be at a pool or a beach if she were wearing swimwear, not the op's bloody house. And yes, it would be fucking weird if she walked around in a swimsuit in someone's home. She needs to put a robe on.

I think it's totally inappropriate and she should cover up. Why does she think you want to see her walk around in pants? Doesn't she own any pyjamas or a decent nightie? Dressing gown?

Grim.

Good challenge!

My attitude is fine. I've given her our bedroom and spend time with her every single day as well as cooked all her meals and taken her shopping. She knows I love her

If you say so.

It's your home so if you feel uncomfortable speak to her about it. But Jesus Christ, do non of you who think it's disgusting take the kids swimming or to the beach?? It's not any more revealing than fucking swim clothes. Unless her flaps are hanging out I really don't get it.

The beach and pool are for swimming. That requires a suit. My home isn't a pool.

Provide a visitors’ dressing gown and hang it up in the room she sleeps in. When you show her to the room, point it out or put it with the towels you give her. We’ve done this for a long time just to be nice, we don’t tell people to wear them but they always do. I bet she will be relieved. And before anyone has a go, we use old ones or ones we’ve been gifted.

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain well yes the OP says so so that’s that- unless you know the OPs situation better than she does?

I do.

Missed that, sorry!

I'd jokingly say 'I'll talk to you when you've put some clothes on!' etc.

And get DH on the case about buying a new place.

Ask her to wear a dressing gown. If she hasn't got one, lend her one. Or buy her one. Tell her to her face you don't want to see her in her knickers at any time of day.

The comment about not wearing a bra though - that's bonkers.

Oh that's a good one. Do you or anyone else think it's weird that she's only just started doing this? She's never done it before in 20 years!

What’s wrong with being bra less inside the house??

Knickers aren't the same as a swimming costume - the material is much more flimsy. I would go to the beach in a swimming costume, but not my knickers!

I wouldn't want someone wandering round in my house in just underwear, and I wouldn't dream of doing that is someone else's house either. This sort of thing is exactly what dressing downs were invented for.

Your DH needs to tell her to cover up, not just because you don't want to see it, but because she's getting herself very comfortable in your home.

She needs to be reminded she's a temporary guest.

"Mum, would you mind putting some PJ bottoms on when you're walking around the house? You'll be able to wander round in your knickers when you get your own place."

But it's definitely your DHs problem that I resolve rather than yours.

Maybe her robe and/or pyjamas are in storage? I'd ask her and offer one of mine to borrow or to take her shopping.

Like another poster I always think I am a bit uptight but clearly not when it comes to bodies - I don't see anything 'gross' or 'revolting' in seeing someone's legs even if they are - gasp, horror - over 70.

And what's the problem with being braless? I assume the poster's French mother-in-law wasn't actually topless?

I think the French woman was possibly naked on top 🤷🏽‍♀️🤣

chelseapeersnyc.com/products/curve-red-fluffy-hooded-dressing-gown?nosto_source=cmp&nosto=1461294876

This is nice, but only in large sizes, an extra 60% off too

The mumsnet mental strikes again!
who are you people in real life 🤣🤣

@AllThingsServeTheBeam

It's gross because it's underwear which is designed for being under clothes and covering your private parts! It'd be just as weird if she was wearing a bikini around the house.

Just because it's socially acceptable in some situations to have your arse out doesn't mean it's socially acceptable in others. That's like saying oh its weird that I can have my tits out at a nudist beach but not on the street. Just because one is appropriate doesn't mean it is in every situation. She's in a house that isn't her home, in front of other people - walking around making conversations with her arse out - totally inappropriate imo!

I can see her arse not just her legs.

I just don’t understand this. She is covered up. What is wrong with you that underwear, or maybe it’s her body, revolts you. You are having a violent reaction due to your unhealthy thought processes. Not reality.