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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Another woman wearing DH’s shirt

257 replies

hidadsoup · 09/10/2022 20:21

Old friend of DH and his partner have been staying with us. She has done some washing and included my DH shirt in it, then has worn it because she liked it. I think this crosses boundaries and it made me uncomfortable, but AIBU?

yabu - it’s not big deal
yanbu - it’s not on

OP posts:
Imissmoominmama · 09/10/2022 20:24

It’s a bit weird, (actually no, it’s cheeky!) to wear something of someone else’s just because you like it. Did she ask?

Original poster
hidadsoup · 09/10/2022 20:26

apparently she didn’t ask, she just put it on and then said she really liked it when DH noticed. He doesn’t think it’s a big deal but I was pretty miffed when I saw her in it!

OP posts:
JennyForeigner · 09/10/2022 20:30

That's just weird. Is she going to drive your car away because she likes the mileage?

Riverlee · 09/10/2022 20:31

That is definantly weird.

Firstly, why is she washing clothes at your? Surely she brought enough for the visit. Also, I would be doing the washing for her, if she was at my house, for example of the clothing got something spilt on it.

Secondly, wearing someone else’s shirt or jumper implies intimacy or ownership with that person. Not necessarily sexual, but more of an unwritten signal. Ie. Girlfriend wears boyfriend jumper if cold.

it’s definantly strange to wear your hosts clothes without permission.

Sciurus83 · 09/10/2022 20:32

That's so weird!

Original poster
hidadsoup · 09/10/2022 20:39

@JennyForeigner 😂😂

@Riverlee yes that’s exactly it, the implied intimacy! I thought surely there’s some unwritten rule that you don’t wear another woman’s husbands clothes? Especially if you aren’t really friends with the wife

OP posts:
PinkButtercups · 09/10/2022 20:40

Yeah that's weird.

If your DH decided he liked her knickers so paraded around the house in them I don't think anyone would be to pleased would they.

FlossMeg · 09/10/2022 20:41

Help yourself to some sort f her clothes. If you like them, apparently it’s fine? 🤷‍♀️

KeepOutingMyselfAnotherNameChange · 09/10/2022 20:44

It screams affair and she's seeing how far she can push her luck.

Midnights · 09/10/2022 20:47

Oooo weirdly YANBU - I'm not sure why but it would really annoy me too 😂 I wear his shirts, not some other woman - do they even properly know each other, or is it she's his friends partner? It's weird she didn't ask or anything and thought it was a good idea!

VariationsonaTheme · 09/10/2022 20:50

It’s weird but I’m not sure it’s worth getting worked up about, unless you already have thoughts about their relationship and this is just one more thing.

Leobynature · 09/10/2022 20:52

🤔 I voted YANBU but thinking about it I have 3 brothers and I definitely take their t-shirts, hoodies, shirts… anything I can get my hands on really. Is it just brotherly love.

HeadacheEarthquake · 09/10/2022 20:53

PinkButtercups · 09/10/2022 20:40

Yeah that's weird.

If your DH decided he liked her knickers so paraded around the house in them I don't think anyone would be to pleased would they.

It's a great idea! Pleeeease do this

beonmywaythen · 09/10/2022 20:54

Leobynature · 09/10/2022 20:52

🤔 I voted YANBU but thinking about it I have 3 brothers and I definitely take their t-shirts, hoodies, shirts… anything I can get my hands on really. Is it just brotherly love.

Is there a backstory? Also definitely weird of her but I also know some guests can just take the "make yourself at home" thing a bit too literally!

beonmywaythen · 09/10/2022 20:54

Didn't mean to quote that

HitTheRoadJill · 09/10/2022 20:54

Tell her to give it back.

custardbear · 09/10/2022 20:56

I'm assuming she fancies him

Octomore · 09/10/2022 20:56

Leobynature · 09/10/2022 20:52

🤔 I voted YANBU but thinking about it I have 3 brothers and I definitely take their t-shirts, hoodies, shirts… anything I can get my hands on really. Is it just brotherly love.

He's not her brother though. It's not the same in the slightest.

VeridicalVagabond · 09/10/2022 21:00

Nah that's fucking weird. Your DH needs to be the one to step in here, he needs to tell her to give his shirt back and not do that again. Even if he's not bothered by it, you are and that should be enough for him to tell her she's being weird.

Teenprobs · 09/10/2022 21:01

I just see.

Women not allowed to have children they can't afford so potentially only higher income families are having more kids (2 child benefit rule) but they want more kids to fill the labour jobs, but are keeping the benefit money under inflation for those who need it to top up their labour job wages. The same families Who are more likely to produce kids that will fill the labour jobs not the middle class.

And cutting income tax for more than 4 kids? Surely if you have 3 kids you're not earning a whole lot? Probably under the threshold a lot of the time?

LondonQueen · 09/10/2022 21:02

I like my friends house but I haven't moved in!

Teenprobs · 09/10/2022 21:02

No idea why my reply posted on this thread. This one is far more interesting 😂

ThanksMateThanksMate · 09/10/2022 21:02

She's engaging in some power play and sounds like an arsehole.

Gotskeaswr · 09/10/2022 21:03

I’d be pissed off if someone took my shirt without asking!

CheezePleeze · 09/10/2022 21:05

OP please parade around in something belonging to her and tell her it's because you like it 😂😂