Another woman wearing DH’s shirt

[hidadsoup]

Old friend of DH and his partner have been staying with us. She has done some washing and included my DH shirt in it, then has worn it because she liked it. I think this crosses boundaries and it made me uncomfortable, but AIBU?

yabu - it’s not big deal
yanbu - it’s not on

How is it going now, @hidadsoup?

I don't know if it's sexual or not, but the whole thing comes across as incredibly entitled, on both of their parts. Are they from a particularly privileged background? It really feels like they're treating you (and likely your son) like the help, or the furniture, or invisible, in contrast to your husband who matters to them personally. Something about offering to literally BUY the shirt off your husband's back (rather than asking where he got it so she can look for a similar one) comes across that way too. No idea why they'd want to live in your granny annexe if that's the case, though!

DH paid for SS and her partners entry tickets and then once we got in SS and the DP offered to buy DH drinks but didn’t offer me. Several times I have come to see how the project is getting on, while I’m there SS or the DP offers DH a coffee and not me...

Your husband knows they're being rude to you and shouldn't be condoning it. Four months is a LONG time to have houseguests you're not enjoying, and no one should have to feel uncomfortable in their own house. Of course, it might be fun to snag the friend's boxers or tighty-whities and parade around the house with them on your head...

Yes, you have a husband problem.
I am not sure what to suggest, others MNetters have his measure but these people need to be gone soon.

Less sitting around being friends, more work needs to be done sooner, faster, better so that completion arrives soon. November is too long to wait.
Even if the decamp to other premises to get out of your home, that is a start.
Tell your husband you want them gone.
No-one is working fast enough & they are trouble.

BTW, that shirt.
Get hold of it, where ever it is go get it.
Perform your own ritual banishment by tearing it, bleaching it, burning it. Whatever it takes for you to get rid of the insult & injury.
You never want that shirt to appear on anyone else ever again.

You don’t help yourself to other people’s clothes without permission regardless of who they are.
My husband doesn’t even like me borrowing his stuff so I don’t. His choice.

Oh bit late. Sorry only first page was showing

My thoughts exactly!

Just No! I would tell her straight it's not appropriate in the UK to wear other people's clothes and if she could please give it back ASAP.