Another woman wearing DH’s shirt

[hidadsoup]

Old friend of DH and his partner have been staying with us. She has done some washing and included my DH shirt in it, then has worn it because she liked it. I think this crosses boundaries and it made me uncomfortable, but AIBU?

yabu - it’s not big deal
yanbu - it’s not on

It's weirdly intimate and hints at a physical relationship (potential or past) as others have said. You wouldn't want the scents of a strange man you didn't fancy on you, would you?

Perhaps they (the other 3) are building up to suggesting "group activity"? 🤔

You wouldn't want the scents of a strange man you didn't fancy on you, would you?

I think she was unreasonable but she'd washed it. Why would it smell of him? Surely it would smell of laundry detergent?

I wouldnt assume she fancies your DH but do think shes trying to cause a bit of drama in a v pathetic manner

I am the charity shop of my brothers old clothes. He arrives with a black bag and all my Christmas have come😘
he wasn’t so keen when I was younger and doing it though.

Could they be having an affair OP?

I’m having this type of thought on my a lot at the moment

This is territory marking, I don’t like it.

Wow. Grossly inappropriate and she definitely fancies your husband. There's nothing innocent about this.

She offered to buy it?! Is it a particularly snazzy shirt, say a t-shirt for her favourite band or a floral number a la Alfie Moon? I agree it sounds a bit territorial but if she's offered to pay for the thing maybe she does just like it? Bit presumptuous to just stick it on though either way.

Make sure you get it back. Don't let her 'forget' she has it.

My DD constantly takes her brothers and dad's clothes and it drives them crazy.

But that's not the same as the OP's situation obviously. This woman isn't related to or lives with the OP's DH, nor is she the one in the couple DH is even friends with!

It’s weird behaviour

quote territorial

did she know him before you got together?

Go and find her handbag, tip everything out of it and put your own stuff in.

Wait for her to ask what the fuck you’re doing.

Then just stand and smile at her until she gets it.

PS I agree she is either shagging your DH, or wants to. Sorry.

Because it's a trope. When have I worn men's clothes? The night after I shagged them for the walk of shame. That's one. When I'm staying over the house of someone I fancy and wear one of their t-shirts to look cute and tiny (and therefore get laid). My DH's because they smell like him and are warm. Yup. At the end of an evening when I'm wearing something skimpy and a bloke wants to seem gentlemanly and but a jacket on me. When pregnant and nothing fits

They really all are shag-adjacent.

That's very very odd. I would have said to her at the time to take it off.

In the far off days when I was newly married and must have actually liked my husband, I used to wear his clothes so as to feel close to him.

What this woman has done is utterly inappropriate. I wouldn't have them round ever again.

She’s really pushing her luck here. If she’d spilled something on her clothes and DH offered it as an emergency fix, that’s one thing… but this, very odd, crosses boundaries.

It’s a message to you, newer in the group that they are really close don’t you know

maybe not in an intimate way but her relationship is so close that they did this sort of thing

which when in early 20’s many of us did with friends but then we grow up

ignore her

I’m sorry I find it weirder you’ve a guest doing your laundry for you

Interesting how many of you think affair or she fancies DH. I don’t think it’s that but maybe I’m naive, I think it’s more likely she’s just a bit clueless. She didn’t know DH before her relationship with the friend, we have met her twice before she came to stay. They are not from UK, from Central America if that makes a difference, I think cultural differences also come into it

I find it enviable!

I think she fancies him. She's getting a thrill out of having his shirt on her. Far too intimate. I'd demand it back immediately and tell her you both thought it weird.

She is marking her territory. In your home. This is actually a time, when I would consider showing him the thread. He’s not getting it at all.

@Rightsraptor - me too, lol. I cringe now but I used to nick a certain boyfriends t-shirts and sniff them when he wasn't there! I wouldn't dream of wearing someone else's clothes unless in an emergency. It could be a 'power play' thing but does strongly hint of shared intimacy with your DH. How can she not see that it's not appropriate and what does her own DH think I wonder.