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AIBU?

Is this rude of DD’s violin teacher?

344 replies

Mrspeanuts · 10/09/2022 15:31

DD (8) started violin lessons in school with her teacher who works for the local music service. She kindly sends regular updates on WhatsApp about progress and homework etc.

DD took her violin in to school on Wednesday this week (the day of her lesson) and the teacher wasn’t there. I sent an email via the music service asking why there was no lessons. I got what I thought was a rude response saying something along the lines of why would you think there was a lesson? Music tuition always starts back the second week in? I responded with ‘well I didn’t know that’ and the response was ‘well you do have my phone number, maybe should have checked first?’

she has since told me she won’t be posting any more updates on WhatsApp and any further correspondence from her will be via email through the music service.

have I upset her? I’m not sure if I’ve done anything wrong?

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

678 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
64%
You are NOT being unreasonable
36%
Wisteriaroundthedoor · 10/09/2022 15:32

I’m assuming she thought your first email was rude or accusatory and responded on kind.

Mrspeanuts · 10/09/2022 15:34

Wisteriaroundthedoor · 10/09/2022 15:32

I’m assuming she thought your first email was rude or accusatory and responded on kind.

Well it was just a question, but it was direct and I used exclamation marks so maybe it came across that way?

OP posts:
Clymene · 10/09/2022 15:35

So you were rude and pissed her off. Good work.

Clymene · 10/09/2022 15:35

What did you actually write??

Porcupineintherough · 10/09/2022 15:36

Exclamation marks in this context are rude, yes. So now you know.

ManateeFair · 10/09/2022 15:36

Mrspeanuts · 10/09/2022 15:34

Well it was just a question, but it was direct and I used exclamation marks so maybe it came across that way?

You were definitely rude.

Libertyqueen · 10/09/2022 15:37

If you said “Hi just checking when Music lessons start back?” Then she was being unreasonable.

If you said something “what, no music lesson today?!” then you are totally unreasonable.

Sounds more like the latter,

Carrieonmywaywardsun · 10/09/2022 15:37

What exactly did you write?

Mrspeanuts · 10/09/2022 15:38

Clymene · 10/09/2022 15:35

What did you actually write??

I wrote ‘DD informed me there was no lesson Wednesday, I would appreciate it if you let me know any changes to the schedule!’

OP posts:
Cherchezlaspice · 10/09/2022 15:38

Mrspeanuts · 10/09/2022 15:34

Well it was just a question, but it was direct and I used exclamation marks so maybe it came across that way?

Why would asking about music lessons require exclamation marks? This sounds like a rude email. YABU.

Johnnysgirl · 10/09/2022 15:38

No need for exclamation marks. That was rude of you, so she's pretty obviously pissed off.

Porcupineintherough · 10/09/2022 15:39

So there you go. Rude as fuck.

Cherchezlaspice · 10/09/2022 15:39

Mrspeanuts · 10/09/2022 15:38

I wrote ‘DD informed me there was no lesson Wednesday, I would appreciate it if you let me know any changes to the schedule!’

That isn’t a question.

Johnnysgirl · 10/09/2022 15:39

Mrspeanuts · 10/09/2022 15:38

I wrote ‘DD informed me there was no lesson Wednesday, I would appreciate it if you let me know any changes to the schedule!’

Yes, that's rude.

Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 10/09/2022 15:40

Oh yeah- she was responding to your rudeness

Motnight · 10/09/2022 15:40

Mrspeanuts · 10/09/2022 15:38

I wrote ‘DD informed me there was no lesson Wednesday, I would appreciate it if you let me know any changes to the schedule!’

It wasn't a question. More an accusation.

YellowTreeHouse · 10/09/2022 15:40

Mrspeanuts · 10/09/2022 15:38

I wrote ‘DD informed me there was no lesson Wednesday, I would appreciate it if you let me know any changes to the schedule!’

So you were very rude then.

OlympicProcrastinator · 10/09/2022 15:40

Yeah your first message was extremely rude. So there’s your answer.

abblie · 10/09/2022 15:41

Is it not common knowledge that extra lessons and activities all start back week 2?

And you where rude as there was no schedule put in place to be changed you assumed lessons started

Aquamarine1029 · 10/09/2022 15:41

Why in the world would you have used an exclamation mark? FGS. That is so rude, I'm not surprised she's pissed off.

forrestgreen · 10/09/2022 15:42

Yup you were arsy

Mrspeanuts · 10/09/2022 15:42

Ok I can see how this has come across as impolite- surely her response was OTT though?

OP posts:
Pollydon · 10/09/2022 15:42

You were rude first.

Subaru4336 · 10/09/2022 15:43

Mrspeanuts · 10/09/2022 15:38

I wrote ‘DD informed me there was no lesson Wednesday, I would appreciate it if you let me know any changes to the schedule!’

Well yes, your email was rude, unnecessarily so, so unsurprising that the response back wasn't polite, and that the teacher is no longer willing to go beyond by sending whatsapp updates.

Perhaps consider how you communicate with others @Mrspeanuts?

MrsKypp · 10/09/2022 15:43

Sounds a bit like you were accusing her of not turning up rather than politely enquiring when lessons were due to start back.

I can imagine it made her feel defensive. It would me too.

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