Is this rude of DD’s violin teacher?

[Mrspeanuts]

DD (8) started violin lessons in school with her teacher who works for the local music service. She kindly sends regular updates on WhatsApp about progress and homework etc.

DD took her violin in to school on Wednesday this week (the day of her lesson) and the teacher wasn’t there. I sent an email via the music service asking why there was no lessons. I got what I thought was a rude response saying something along the lines of why would you think there was a lesson? Music tuition always starts back the second week in? I responded with ‘well I didn’t know that’ and the response was ‘well you do have my phone number, maybe should have checked first?’

she has since told me she won’t be posting any more updates on WhatsApp and any further correspondence from her will be via email through the music service.

have I upset her? I’m not sure if I’ve done anything wrong?

I changed my vote after reading your subsequent posts, it sounds like you’ve been really rude!

I'd be really defensive if you were repeatedly challenging me rudely.

Yup, that’s really abrupt and rude. Absolutely not saying you meant it, but it is I’m afraid and I understand why she’s not happy.

You were very rude, I'm not surprised by her response at all. Even if you apologise now she'll think of you as a cow forevermore.

Why should the teacher apologise when the conversation has been broached in that way, and apparently not for the first time?

That’s really, really, really rude.

Are you British? I only ask because these things are cultural. But yes, it’s absolutely no wonder she replied as she did. She was completely professional.
You don’t have a leg to stand on I’m afraid.

Your only way forward is a total and fulsome apology such as “Dear Miss, I’m so sorry for my last message. I realise it must have come across as very rude. Please accept my apologies”.

Jeez. Keep digging, OP. You'll be finding fossils soon.

Bloody hell. You're so obtuse you're a straight line.

Well, you were rude first, and quite rightly she is now going to let the music center deal with parents. You should have been informed of term dates- they're usually not the first and last week (probably not the last few weeks of Autum term), and not during SATS week. The trouble with email correspondence is, if the teacher needs to cancel, you will have to watch your emails - a few times I rushed from work, picked up DC, straight to music lesson only for it to have been cancelled, but I'd not had time to read personal emails. A text would have been much easier, and if I were receiving WhatsApp messages straight from the teacher I'd have been super grateful and polite.

Sounds like yes you have offended her. I also think her response was unnecessarily rude, it was obvious from your message that you'd misunderstood something. A simple "lesson dates were in my email of ..., we start next week" would have done fine.

I'd suggest an apologetic email via music service saying you had missed any information about lesson dates and had assumed it matched school term dates, and ask where to find the information if you can't now locate it in previous messages or website. Be grovelling and nice. Whatever the rights of the situation, you want to be on good terms.

The emails only thing could be her protecting herself if she thinks you are going to accuse her of stuff, it could be music service told her to because same, it could even be they didn't like her tone to you or think she should have sent out lesson dates in advance and want to monitor her side of communications.

Hopefully if it's coming from her when she realises you aren't going to be a difficult customer she will relax again.

If your school is like my DC’s school there will be a waiting list for lessons.
Your email reads to me like an accusation that she did not deliver the lesson when she should have, whereas you didn’t check the schedule. If you want your DD to continue, you’d be best advised to apologise quickly.

For the sake of your daughter if nothing else, I think you should apologise for your tone.

Well that’s that relationship ruined. I’d be looking for a new music teacher if I was you OP, sounds like you’re guna need one 😂 and yes you were vvvvvv rude!

I also think you should apologise.

Very rude

”Hello, I was told my dd that there was no lesson today. Can I enquire as to why, and when the lessons will start up again. Thank you”

Reading updates, it sounds like the problem is definitely that you don't have the schedule for when lessons take place, possibly because it hasn't been communicated to you, possibly because you didn't realise there was such a thing so you didn't look. It may be it's music service you need to email to find out where it is not the teacher, though I think most teachers would know too.

Yup
That is really rude

Paying for a service doesn’t mean you get to be rude to the people delivering it!

It sounds like you need to be more organised and seek the information regarding the music schedule if you have now incorrectly addressed the issue of ‘missed lessons’ twice and needed to be told both times that actually there was no lesson scheduled.

I’m not surprised that the teacher doesn’t want to deal with you directly anymore if you can’t even be polite or apologise when you’ve made a mistake. ‘Well how am I supposed to know that?’ is not the correct or polite response when you’ve mistakenly accused somebody of failing to deliver a service that wasn’t scheduled to take place, the correct response would have been to say sorry.

She has been polite, it's you that hadn't been.

You were shockingly rude. And you didn’t even ask a question, as you said you did. Exclamations are also a complete no-no.

Personally I find her responses rude and wouldn’t want her spending 1:1 time with my child. I’d find someone else, unless you have endless resources to pander to her and readjust her take on things.

It didn’t just come across as impolite. It was rude and aggressive and it would have been sent to her personal phone. I think she was very sensible to say no more contact via WhatsApp.

No I’m Asian

Oh dear.

You were asked about your nationality, not race.