Trying not to be too outing.
TLDR - DH feels he’s missed out on bonding with our baby because he’s exclusively breastfed.
I am exclusively breastfeeding our 10mo baby. He’s on 3 meals a day now too and my husband has been involved in the weaning journey loads because he wfh.
Our baby refused a bottle when he was younger & it took until he was nearly 6m for my DH to manage taking him out without me. He now takes a bottle fine. We’ve had various challenges - he’s got allergies, bottle refusal etc etc. I’ve never left him at bedtime, DH has only put him down once. Last night he tried again and baby refused the bottle and screamed for me.
My husband was understandably upset (as was i, I can’t wait to have some freedom back on an evening). All very normal I’m sure and it’s the start of a process, sure we will get there.
However he told me last night that he feels he has missed out hugely because our baby has been breastfed and he hasn’t fed him much over his whole life. He wasn’t blaming me but I can’t help feeling upset at his mindset here. To me, breastfeeding is my job & it’s not something to be envious of. I’ve pumped every day for the last god knows how long so that we have a freezer stash and DH can take baby whenever but he doesn’t often choose to do so. It’s always me driving the idea of him taking baby out, doing bedtimes etc. I don’t think he’s lazy, he’s just leaving it all to me which is very good of him… but to then say he feels he’s missed out? When he never pushed it anyway? He said he feels like he’s missed out esp when he knows other dads feed their baby and other dads put their babies to bed. I said we’ve got all that to come for sure. And we are taking steps to get there now.
I don’t know; I just feel a bit sad at the idea that maybe for our baby’s whole life he’s had these resentful feelings (I’ve def felt like he’s resented me feeding before but thought we were past this now that he’s bonded with our baby in so many other ways.)
Im fully expecting this to divide opinion but just wondering aibu to feel upset at this comment? It has made me feel guilty but also frustrated as I don’t feel I have done anything wrong.