To not want to go to a person’s 4th wedding

[Whingebagg]

Just that really. Being a guest can be expensive. All the travel too. Finding babysitters. IMO she needs to stop getting married. It’s not working for her. I want to politely decline but I know she’s going to take it badly.

Meh, let her take it badly! You're under no obligation to attend anyone's wedding, be it their first or fourth 😂

She’s kind of a dick to expect anyone to attend her 4th wedding. And to add emotional blackmail makes it even worse.

Politely decline or suggest you bring kids.
But I'd probably be a little less generous with gifts and probably wear something I already own.

Wow , now that is a triumph of hope over experience! Is she a relative? Or a very close friend? If neither of those, just say no thanks.
I feel the groom(s) are maybe a little naive - why would they think this one would end better ?

If you don't want to go to any wedding for any reason then don't.

My dad will probably get married four times. His first wife died of cancer, with his second wife they had a toxic relationship from both sides that wasn't good for either of them (neither of them were wrong, just different), his third wife died of a stroke. He's now with someone he met whose husband died of cancer and they're very happy together - I think they may well marry one day and they both deserve every happiness they can get. Anyone who commented that he needs to stop getting married would get a stern glare from me.

Personally, I'd be more supportive of someone who endorses divorce than endorses being abused or being miserable endlessly. Although, I'd imagine most people would have found happiness by the fourth marriage - but we simply don't know the circumstances.

Just say really sorry, we can't make that date.

(Suggest you'll go to one in every 3 of her weddings from now on.)

It's a party. If you don't want to go, don't.

I think the mean judgement is a bit much. Someone I love is getting married again. I'm happy for them.

I don't see really how relevant is is that its her fourth wedding. That's her circus. Either she's a good friend who you want to support or she's not and unless you have a specific reason to think this particular marriage is a really bad idea I think you need to stay out of her reasons. It's perfectly possible the failure of her last three marriages wasn't her fault.

That said I don't blame you for not wanting the expense and hassle.

But I'd leave the moral judgements at the door.

@FooFighter99 is right, you are under no obligation to attend any wedding whatsoever 🤷🏻‍♀️ unless it's your children

Just say you can't find childcare

Who is she to you? Friend or relative?

yada yada it’s an invitation not a summons, cost of living crisis, climate change, perhaps you’re jinxing her marriages by attending the wedding…

What happened with the other 3?

Decline, and promise to attend the next one.

Why?

What if 3 of them beat her black and blue and now she's found a decent person who loves her?

Don't go if you don't want to but no need to be sneery about your friend.

Tell her you'll go to the next one.

She’s my old primary friend. It’s like not going to a relatives wedding but I can’t be bothered with it.

So don't. No need to justify your decision by being mean about it.

Her uncle said “see you at the next one” to her at her third wedding. I can’t steal his lines.

If I was going to get married for a 4th time I’d sneak away and do it quietly and send all the whatsapp groups a message saying ‘yes I’ve just got married again, yes feel free to take the piss’.

Gotta have a sense of humour when you’re giving Liz Taylor a run for her money.

Absolutely!

That's funny 😄

I think that’s what is annoying me about it. I wouldn’t expect anybody to come to my third or fourth wedding. I wouldn’t even have a big wedding. She made a big fuss before her third when a couple people said they couldn’t make it. She was acting like it was her first wedding.

Getting huffy because someone who's presumably been to your first three weddings doesn't want to come to your fourth is a bit lols.

If I was very close to her I'd go and make the effort, otherwise nah

I bet he's cursing himself as he's committed to going now :p

Some people just try and pretend the first weddings just didnt happen! Still expect the dress, presents etc.

What about saying you are going on holiday or there is a family event?