Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to go to a person’s 4th wedding

192 replies

Whingebagg · 19/07/2022 15:32

Just that really. Being a guest can be expensive. All the travel too. Finding babysitters. IMO she needs to stop getting married. It’s not working for her. I want to politely decline but I know she’s going to take it badly.

OP posts:
Angelinflipflops · 19/07/2022 16:09

Why wouldn't you want to go to an old friend's party? does it matter what the reason is?

Topcat9876 · 19/07/2022 16:10

Whingebagg · 19/07/2022 15:32

Just that really. Being a guest can be expensive. All the travel too. Finding babysitters. IMO she needs to stop getting married. It’s not working for her. I want to politely decline but I know she’s going to take it badly.

It always amazes me people can find 3rd or 4th people to marry - I cannot seem to find one.

Lovelycheese · 19/07/2022 16:12

Is your friend JLo?

Thepeopleversuswork · 19/07/2022 16:15

Whingebagg · 19/07/2022 15:52

I think that’s what is annoying me about it. I wouldn’t expect anybody to come to my third or fourth wedding. I wouldn’t even have a big wedding. She made a big fuss before her third when a couple people said they couldn’t make it. She was acting like it was her first wedding.

But surely any marriage is a triumph of hope over experience anyway? Half of them fail.

Your attitude implies that its somehow her fault that the previous marriages failed. When in fact you have no way of knowing that. And if you believe in marriage in the first place (which I don't) why take this "three strikes and you'r out" approach? Surely everyone's entitled to a fresh start?

M08my · 19/07/2022 16:19

I love weddings. Usually above average food and drink, big party with lots of mutual friends.

-say you'll only come with your kids
-don't buy any new clothes
-just get a cheap gift or regift something

Job done, you're in profit

LoopyLoo1991 · 19/07/2022 16:29

A first wedding is cute.

A forth wedding is disastrous.

Avoid disasters & do not support serial nuptial addicts.

See 'Reddit Wedding Drama Stories' videos posted on YouTube. You'll avoid most weddings forever after.

Original poster
Whingebagg · 19/07/2022 16:43

She’s happy for the kids to come. It’s me who doesn’t want them there. Only thing worse than a 4th wedding, is a 4th wedding where you can’t relax or have any fun because you’re chasing a toddler around.
Think I’ll book a holiday and blame it on dh forgetting her date

OP posts:
Mally100 · 19/07/2022 16:45

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 19/07/2022 15:42

Why?

What if 3 of them beat her black and blue and now she's found a decent person who loves her?

Don't go if you don't want to but no need to be sneery about your friend.

Show quote history

Oh please. Yes they all must have been the reason except for her who is the common denominator 🙄. I wouldn't go, she doesn't seem to take it seriously in any case.

pantherpie · 19/07/2022 16:46

I've recently declined an invite to a 4th wedding.
We went to the 2nd and 3rd weddings, one of which was a destination wedding, and the 4th is a bloody destination one too!

UnnecessaryFennel · 19/07/2022 16:48

Homewardbound2022 · 19/07/2022 15:42

Tell her you'll go to the next one.

😆

TheFormidableMrsC · 19/07/2022 16:51

I'm in a similar predicament but will go for the sake of peace. It's also a massive wedding and they've asked for money for gifts. You don't do that with a forth wedding imo 🤷🏻‍♀️

SouperNoodle · 19/07/2022 16:53

'Dear Bride to be,

As I'm sure you are aware, attending a wedding can be expensive due to outfits, travel, hotels etc and as I've had to remortgage to attend your last 3 weddings, I'm afraid I'll have to give this one a miss.
If the 5th wedding is local, I'll be happy to attend that one.

All the best'

DuckBilledPlattyJoobs · 19/07/2022 16:54

Summersdreaming · 19/07/2022 15:42

Decline, and promise to attend the next one.

Genius 😂

Rockbird · 19/07/2022 16:55

Go or don't go, whatever. But no need to be pissy about it. It's not your life.

carefullycourageous · 19/07/2022 16:58

Don't be unkind, just politely decline.

kimfox · 19/07/2022 17:02

I didn't go to a relative's vow renewal - only been married five minutes - seemed ridiculous so I just didn't go. Go / don't go - definitely no expensive wedding gifts - she must already have three of everything!

dworky · 19/07/2022 17:09

"It's nothing personal but I'm not attending any more weddings, three is my absolute limit. I hope you have a lovely day, though"

KittenKong · 19/07/2022 17:13

Homewardbound2022 · 19/07/2022 15:42

Tell her you'll go to the next one.

That’s what I would say (it it was one of my siblings - not sure if anyone else wouldn’t lunch me on the nose).

What’s the expression. ‘The triumph of hope over experience’?

Ontomatopea · 19/07/2022 17:16

So nasty and judgemental. If you don't want to go just don't. Is it the groom's 4th wedding too? As a 2nd wife it was my first marriage and I'd have been gutted if people had been so nasty about it.

Ontomatopea · 19/07/2022 17:17

She could have had 1 divorce and some deaths. Or wedding one was a drunken mistake and got annulled. No need to be nasty.

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 19/07/2022 17:21

I'm guessing the OP knows the circs of her friends three divorces, and if she'd been tragically widowed more than once.

UnnecessaryFennel · 19/07/2022 17:25

I love how people are explaining the previous marriages to the OP 😂

Honestly, give over. Wedding no 4 is at best a triumph of hope over experience and at worst wildly self-absorbed. Some people really need to get over themselves.

Mally100 · 19/07/2022 17:29

UnnecessaryFennel · 19/07/2022 17:25

I love how people are explaining the previous marriages to the OP 😂

Honestly, give over. Wedding no 4 is at best a triumph of hope over experience and at worst wildly self-absorbed. Some people really need to get over themselves.

Exactly, the audacity of expecting people to come to a 4th wedding when she makes it seem like a joke. I wouldn't have even gone to the 3rd. When people usually marry over and over, it's usually them with the problem but it's MN so it must be the other men not the actual common denominator 🙄

UnnecessaryFennel · 19/07/2022 17:32

ThEy coULd oF DiEd ThO

Mally100 · 19/07/2022 17:33

UnnecessaryFennel · 19/07/2022 17:32

ThEy coULd oF DiEd ThO

What all 3 of them?? That would be highly suspicious if anything Hmm

Swipe left for the next trending thread