To not want to go to a person’s 4th wedding

[Whingebagg]

Just that really. Being a guest can be expensive. All the travel too. Finding babysitters. IMO she needs to stop getting married. It’s not working for her. I want to politely decline but I know she’s going to take it badly.

Glad to be of service 😁

As long as your not expected to fly to mexico for a week etc... I dont get the problem.

Women have a habit of make weddings/hen dos so much harder than they have to be... a taxi, a travelodge or similar and an outfit you already own, eat food (which should already be provided) and chat to friends - its not hard.

Just tell her you never enjoy the third sequel to a franchise, so rather than spoil everyone else's enjoyment by making passive aggressive observations on the acting and throwing popcorn at the lady in the big hat three rows in front, you'll sit this one out. But she should send you the trailer for the next one.

Cathy Burke had a documentary series on a while ago where she said she refuses to go to any of her friends weddings. Someone off camera said 'well what do you say to them?!' and she said 'I tell them there's no point going coz it's not gonna last anyway'. There's nothing like being direct

We have a friend who is about to get divorced for the 4th time. She gets bored and expects the honeymoon period to last forever. Her marriages last less than 2 years. At the first disagreement she's off.

At the 4th, i told DH I'm not going to the 5th. He told me off for being bitchy and said that maybe this one will last. One year later and it's over.

I definitely will NOT be going to the 5th.

@BloodAndFire :-)

I went to one wedding where I knew it wouldn't last. HUGE expensive wedding about 15 yrs ago. I was just there as a plus 1. Didn't know anyone. The bar was open before the vows and everyone (except me, it seemed wrong!) had a few. The bride and groom giggled throughout their vows. The bride stuck with her friends all night and spent no time speaking to guests. I must be in the pics and she must have no idea who I am!

Why wouldn't you go if she's a friend? Is she demanding expensive gifts?

All the travel and babysitting issues.

Plus the fact she has been married THREE times already.

Did you read ANY of the OP's posts?

@Whingebagg As has been said, just say you can't make it and you'll go to the next one!

Don’t mind folk getting married as many times as they want but do it quietly without all the expense.

A niece has had two all bells and whistles events. Neither lasted.

Succinctly put

I don't blame you @Whingebagg even with no childcare or travel issues I couldn't be arsed. I know a woman (in her early 50s now,) who has just got married for the SIXTH time. I know this sounds judgy, but I think it's pretty pathetic tbh. I mean FFS why? I seriously could NOT be fucked with that. One remarriage maybe, but after 2 failed marriages that would be it for me.

My DP's mother is on husband number 4. He and one of his sisters each have different fathers who aren't even in the 'husband set'.

It has been very draining for all the children, including adult DC and step-DC and grandchildren, to deal with all this over the years. DP's ExW understandably also found it really difficult.

I think it's coloured my view a bit and no, I wouldn't go to a 4th wedding that was inconvenient or otherwise a ballache, whethet it's for a friend or a relative.

If someone posted here that they were seeing someone but had some reservations because they’d been married 3 times they’d be told to run for the hills.

Quite apart from anyone who addicted enough to marriage that they’re prepared to do it over and over and over again, I find it baffling that anyone would want to be someone’s 4th husband or wife.

One of my ex’s is on his 4th marriage and 6th engagement. Fact is he jumps right in and declares his ever lasting love to wife of the hour, and then it fizzles out for whatever reason and so he moves on.

Yes, I read them all.

I'm still asking the question. She's supposed to be a friend.

I would simply decline.
No need to make up an excuse
Wish then well and buy a small gift for them
But then that's me.
I don't go anywhere I don't want to go to.
No one will even notice your absence

Just politely decline and send a card wishing them 'All the best!'

Not being funny but can I ask is it the same bridesmaids she has for all her weddings and sure maybe they getting good value out of the dresses and does she wear the same wedding dress herself.

Could your dh look after the kids, and you get a train there and relax. Use it as an opportunity to get time to yourself

If you don’t want to go, don’t go. It really is that simple!

there’s nothing nice about being somewhere you don’t want to be, and there’s nothing nice about having a guest at your wedding who doesn’t want to be there.

Bad energy all round.

I recently turned down an invite to a relative's 5th wedding. It's not so much the getting married itself, it's that each wedding has been a huge do that the whole family is expected to attend. Her dad gives her away at each one and they do the whole father of the bride speech thing. Surely he's running out of things to say?
I've been to the previous 4 and it's the same people every time and we're all expected to pretend the previous marriages never happened? It's very odd. Each time there has been a gift list too which feels rude.

Had you not said 'she', I would have thought you were talking about my brother in law.

His entire life can best be described as a triumph of hope over experience, and the man is in his early 50s. He's been married SIX times in 20 years.

I'm now at the stage of telling my OH to crack on (it's his brother, after all), but I won't be there. I'll send an RSVP for the next one.

I firmly believe that only life's greatest optimists marry more than twice, and expect a different outcome. BFr has just announced her 4th engagement. She picks charming men who turn out to be complete bankrupts, gamblers or another addiction tossers, yet still believes in 💖

There were no tragic circumstances or DV that led to her divorces. Just marrying men after knowing them for a year. She’s given various cheesy reasons; we grew apart, we fell out of love yada yada. Sad thing is she has children with each of these men. I really feel for her eldest daughter.

(PS - I stopped going after the third one. I've got other stuff to do.)

Her 4th wedding !
The triumph of hope over experience.