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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this your son?

209 replies

quicklybeendrivenmad · 21/05/2022 18:04

Not sure it's an AIBU but could not find a topic to put his under if anyone has any ideas please report and asked to be moved.

Been feeling quite crap for a while with family issues, also have let myself go, but on a bit of weight, skin gone to shit, hardly ever doing make up living in old clothes basically just feeling meh.

Last three weeks had hair done, nails, facials etc bought some new clothes felt loads better about myself, today at work with DH we both have customers, he shouts me over to answer a question, and before I can even reply woman (about 65-70) says awwh your son is adorable (realise she is talking about DH cos I only have girls) My reply he is my husband hers reply did you have him young, I walked away DH explained I am 4 years older, apparently she felt bad her husband was embarassed, knocked all my confidence, wish I had replied is that your grandson about her husband because he was 50's or you should go back to specsavers cos your prescription was wrong!!

No sat here feeling like crap and whilst knowing I was never gonna look like 21-35 again feel like I have been crushed xx

OP posts:
PrtScn · 21/05/2022 20:16

I’ve been mistaken for my dad’s partner before now. Also his best mate who is slightly older than him (and who is grey!), was mistaken as my dads son by one woman once. They tried to correct her, but she thought they were just winding her up. Was quite funny.

SomethingOnce · 21/05/2022 20:26

Oh, this happened to me recently. DP is a couple of years older but does have residual boyishness, and I’d wager the person in question would benefit from a trip to Specsavers.

Tbf, I’d have been delighted to be taken for his daughter so who am I to begrudge him this slightly weird compliment?!

FlibbertyGibbitt · 21/05/2022 20:29

I changed my pic on Facebook to show my dad and I around 30 years ago. Asked a question in a group and some random American commented how it was a romantic picture 🤪

went away with him with my two kids and another couple asked if he was my husband 🤣 People don’t know 🤷‍♀️

Blossomtoes · 21/05/2022 20:33

When my dad (aged 99) was in hospital, I was asked if I was his wife! It’s not often I’m speechless but I lost every word in my vocabulary that day. Some people are just stupid @quicklybeendrivenmad, you and I have been unfortunate to meet two who have turned it into an art form.

IVFPrayingForBioChild · 21/05/2022 20:36

BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 21/05/2022 19:29

Awww OP, I feel for you. I had this with my DP, we were staying in a Premier Inn last year. The kid on reception eyeballs us and says "You've booked a double room... with your son?"

I'm 15 years older than DP. I'm 38 but often told I don't look my age (I definitely look like I'm in my 30s at best!), and DP looks a few years older than he is. We've never had any negative comments about the age gap, most people don't notice unless one of us mentions it.

I laughed it off as the kid was mortified, but really I was thinking it was absolutely not his fucking place to comment like that anyway.

A 23 year old man and a 38 year old woman - the difference will be obvious.
Although, the kid on reception should not have mentioned it.
He's probably not experienced age gap relationships yet.

fluffycereal · 21/05/2022 20:40

I just would she assume he was anything other than a colleague?

DorritLittle · 21/05/2022 20:41

OP, I was asked if I was over 65 once when collecting my prescription... I was 36. Some people need better glasses!

Ididanamechange · 21/05/2022 20:41

My husband is 12 years old than me. We were out once with my best friend and her husband (both same age as me) and the waiter asked us if they were our children! We laughed it off and now joke about seeing the kids when we all get together

Iloveartichokes · 21/05/2022 20:43

I’d dismiss this woman’s comment as a stupid attempt to flirt with your DH to get special service and a good deal.
Some women, sensing that another looks better than they do, deliberately make derogatory comments.
If your DH believes you’re the bee’s knees, why care what she said? Her DH was embarrassed by her which should prove to you how you look in a man’s eyes: attractive and certainly not old enough to be your DH’s mother.

foxlover47 · 21/05/2022 20:45

Op , I have been asked if I'm my 10 year old daughters grandmother a fair few times , my old neighbour asked my then partner if his mum was at home when we first moved in .. gutting but if they saw me since lockdown they'd be justified lol

BearBibble · 21/05/2022 20:45

Oh OP, it's soul destroying isn't it? I've been asked SO many times if I'm pregnant when I haven't been. I'm a size 10, just get really badly bloated! One woman, when I said "Nope, just bloated" looked me up and down sceptically and went "Really?" 🤯😭

I've cried about it more times than I can count. People can be so clueless about how their comments make others feel.

I also had a random woman in a lift once stare me down for a few moments, then loudly announce "No, I don't like your coat at all. I think it's awful." 😂

And, just to add to others' tales of how random the perceptions of strangers are, my high school friend and I were asked several times if we were identical twins 🤨 We both had a similar skin tone, brown hair, and glasses, but that was about it..!

I'm sorry that woman made you feel rubbish. It definitely sounds like a problem on her end, not yours 🌷

fizzyfood · 21/05/2022 20:50

People think my mum is my sister and my son is my grandson!

SmiledWtherisingsun · 21/05/2022 20:51

Trying to be chatty & friendly, I once asked my new boss (who was the same age as me) if the picture he had on his desk was of his kids & their Granny... "that's my wife!" He replied 🙈🙈🙈

SmiledWtherisingsun · 21/05/2022 20:54

KurriKawari · 21/05/2022 19:23

Well someone recently thought my 13 year old was my daughter!! People chat shit sometimes, best to move on.

Is your 13yr old NOT your daughter? Hmm

Crabbyboot · 21/05/2022 20:55

If she was elderly it is possible that she had some kind of memory and cognition problem like dementia which can make facial recognition difficult and therefore tricky to tell how old you are, it also may explain the slightly inappropriate comment too!

If it makes you feel better I was mistaken for a man once when I had a short emo hairstyle. I definitely don't look like a bloke!

AchatAVendre · 21/05/2022 20:56

I got told by another poster on here that a certain community I was thinking of moving to had no space for "retirees" "past their breeding years" and that I would place a burden on local healthcare services.

I'm 49...usually mistaken for much younger. For some reason though the woman in the local chemists talks to me as if I'm elderly. People have no idea, particularly where women are concerned.

PanettoneMoly · 21/05/2022 20:58

My friend was moving into her new house with her DH (and 6 year old DD). She came out of the door to find their new next door neighbour chatting to DH, who then spotted her and said to DH “oh and here’s your son!”. She’s never worn a baseball cap again.

amusedbush · 21/05/2022 20:59

When my brother was about 3, he asked my mum for sweets in a shop queue and she said no. The (older) woman behind the till said, "be good and listen to your granny" - my mum was 35. I was 10 at the time so I remember the incident and she was pissed off for days.

My friend has also been asked if his husband is his dad, which he found funny - his husband did not Blush there is a 10 year age difference but still, confusing him for his dad is pushing it!

Some people are either fucking stupid with zero filter or else just trying to be nasty/hurtful for the sake of it. I know there is no point in me saying "don't let it bother you" because anyone would be upset but at least rest easy knowing that woman is an idiot. Hopefully she feels like shit every time she remembers it!

covilha · 21/05/2022 21:01

Some people are weird and some people are…. awful. You sound as though you looked as though you had made an effort. She sounds as though she had not. Wonder which one of you her husband was looking at. Don’t let her rain on your parade, you must have looked stunning
PS/ Tell me she was smiling smugly when she said and by doing so you will tell me I am 200% right.
💐

MissyCooperismyShero · 21/05/2022 21:04

Ive done this and worse because I am an absolute idiot. I once said to a pupil 'give the book to grandad' when it was actually Dad. Also I once asked a woman when here baby was due and she wasn't pregnant. I still go clammy just thinking about it. Plus some wanker thought I was my Dads wife. Swings and roundabouts I suppose. Sorry it happened to you today.

PanettoneMoly · 21/05/2022 21:04

My friend was moving into her new house with her DH (and 6 year old DD). She came out of the door to find their new next door neighbour chatting to DH, who then spotted her and said to DH “oh and here’s your son!”. She’s never worn a baseball cap again.

WatermelonSugarEye · 21/05/2022 21:05

Take comfort in the fact that you can have a glow up. She on the other hand is an insensitive and stupid oaf.

WhenPushComesToShove · 21/05/2022 21:13

If the opinion of a complete (blind/stupid) stranger is so ruinous to you, I gently urge you to work on your self esteem. Focus on your good points of which I'm sure you have many. You are unique and special; no doubt very much loved and to be compared with no one.

catsnore · 21/05/2022 21:19

Some people are just rubbish at guessing ages! I used to work with a lady who seemed to think I was about 12. I made some cakes for the office and she asked me if my mum had made them. I said no I made them myself and I hadn't lived with my mum for about 15 years 😂😂😂 don't dwell on it just do what you want and what makes you feel good

BluecheeseandBaskerville · 21/05/2022 21:19

Who calls a grown man adorable? I would assume that she thought he was about 5!

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