Is this your son?

[quicklybeendrivenmad]

Not sure it's an AIBU but could not find a topic to put his under if anyone has any ideas please report and asked to be moved.

Been feeling quite crap for a while with family issues, also have let myself go, but on a bit of weight, skin gone to shit, hardly ever doing make up living in old clothes basically just feeling meh.

Last three weeks had hair done, nails, facials etc bought some new clothes felt loads better about myself, today at work with DH we both have customers, he shouts me over to answer a question, and before I can even reply woman (about 65-70) says awwh your son is adorable (realise she is talking about DH cos I only have girls) My reply he is my husband hers reply did you have him young, I walked away DH explained I am 4 years older, apparently she felt bad her husband was embarassed, knocked all my confidence, wish I had replied is that your grandson about her husband because he was 50's or you should go back to specsavers cos your prescription was wrong!!

No sat here feeling like crap and whilst knowing I was never gonna look like 21-35 again feel like I have been crushed xx

Someone at work saw a photo of my husband and three dc. Said 'I didn't know you had 3 sons'. Me 'no it's two days and a dd...the other one is my DH who is 8 years older than me'. Colleague was embarrassed. I felt like sh*t.

So sorry to hear what happened. In all fairness is your DH very young looking and the woman could have had sight problems. It happened to me a few years ago wheh I was out with my best friend. A bloke offered to carry my shopping to the car and turned round to my friend and says “ just helping your mum she seems to be struggling”. I felt awful as there’s only a years difference in age. The day after I had every beauty and hair treatment I could book in. Luckily I can laugh about it now as I am sure you will once you have recovered from the shock.

After a pretty harrowing time about a decade ago that had aged me a lot, a friend of my father asked me questions about my daughter. He was referring to my sister who was helping me with something and she's almost my age. That really upset me.

It came right recently though when someone else asked me if I was the youngest sister. I guess the hair dye worked.

I feel pretty shitty at the moment because I have a condition which causes facial twitches, I need surgery for this and sometimes it is really bad. I never smile for photos or anything because I physically can't, it looks lopsided. No one understands. I try to do my hair and make up still but sometimes think what's the point. I feel about 90 but I'm sure you look great and your DH will definitely not look like your son, that's ridiculous. How did she know you were even related anyway?

Don’t feel bad, some people are just too stupid/ ignorant/ twats for their own skin

Don’t take it to heart at all, I’m 40 and look it (or older) my partner still gets ID’d regularly and I’ve taken by teenage kids out and had people assume he’s their mate (we’re different ethnicities else I’d probably get asked if I was his mum)

Seriously OP, she was being a complete bitch. She knew exactly what she was saying.
Carry on feeling and looking amazing!! What a bitter old cow she sounds.

My dad still loves the day he and me took ds somewhere (ds was 8, me 34 and dad 64) and they asked if he was ds dad after finding out I was his mum.

Tbf to my dad he does actually look very young for his age and could easily have passed for 50.

If this helps, my mum had dementia and often confused my DD for me and sometimes even the cat.

I agree. Totally NOT the same thing at all and totally NOT the right moment for a stealth boast.

I'm about 8 yrs older than my DP so I'm always slightly sensitive about my age. This week some daft bint was rude to me on Twitter for literally no reason and among other things she called me a "bitter 50-something" etc etc. I'm in my mid-40s. And my profile picture on Twitter I definitely don't look anywhere near 50 so I assume she was just being a bitch deliberately. I laughed it off but inside I was devastated just in case I really do look 50-something.

My DP couldn't give a shit if someone thinks he looks older. I do think we give ourselves a particularly hard time about this as women. I can remember someone called me "grandma" on FB - I admin a craft group and I'd removed them for being abusive to members. Honestly, I've been called many really rude names over the years (FB craft groups attract real arseholes at times). I couldn't give two hoots about most things but the ones that dig at my age and how old I look really do stick. And I say that as someone who's chubby so the lines aren't really showing too much yet haha! And yet still. It's so hurtful.

I try and give people the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they didn't look closely. Maybe they only glanced. Maybe their eyesight is poor. Maybe they just caught you at a bad angle. Unless they're clearly being snarky, I'd not really want to retort in a mean way. People make mistakes, especially when they get older. It doesn't mean it was deliberate but it also doesn't mean it's anything to do with how you look. Your DH obviously loves you and finds you attractive - try and view yourself through his eyes and you might find it easier to be kind to yourself.

A few months ago a grandmother in the playground asked me if my daughter (4 yo) is my grand daughter 😀. I am 43. I look very young for my age, slim, pettite. I didn't get offended, she was very embarrased when I told her and then apologized.

Some people are stupid op. By the time I was 26, I was asked several times by elderly (70+) people if I was spoiling my grandson/watching my grandson for the day.

I'm sorry but that made me LOL
People are actual morons 🤣

Don’t take it to heart OP. People just run their mouth without any thought. When my mum went on a cruise people thought she’d taken her elderly dad with her. It was actually her husband who was 6 years younger than her. I imagine he was mortified at the time!

What profanity?😂

'I used to look around 20 years younger'.

🤣🤣
Were you 30 looking like a 10 yo?
Were you 40 looking 20 yo?
Were you 50 looking .... like a 30 yo?

@cottagegardenflower

Try not to let it upset you. I was with my friend with our young children, and her little boy had wandered off and was being "deaf". My friend was calling his name, and saying "Sean! come here". An elderly lady said to him "Sean, your Grandma is calling you!". My friend was 26....

Like @GinUnicorn and others, my immediate thought was dementia. Poor woman. No need for other posters to describe her as a ‘complete bitch’ when it seems likely to be due to something much worse 🙁

I'm guessing 'crap' and 'shit'.

But given that this is a forum that allows you to say that something is a cunting heap of motherfucking bullshit, it might not be the best site for someone that doesn't cope well with the word 'shit'

This is just a bit too weird of a comment from the woman to be too worried about in my opinion. It was such a strange thing to say about an adult man that to me, sounds like she has some form of dementia or mental health issue. Please don't let your whole confidence rest on the musings of one elderly woman who sounds like she doesn't know her ass from her elbow.

To be honest OP, you sound depressed. Anti depressants have worked wonders for me..

I am 30 in July and I jokingly asked the shop assistant in coop if I could buy a bottle of Gin as I didn’t have my ID and didn’t want to have to go to my car and get it.

He replied you look old enough to buy that I would say easily 32 and don’t doubt yourself you look older than you think… what a massive fuck you that was, thanks pal!

Start your own thread in Relationships @Whichpath, you’ll get a lot of support.