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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nobody offered to pay today

241 replies

Justcallmeanatm · 05/05/2022 21:12

Went out for a meal should have been 4 of us. Picked up friend and her Mil. Met 4th friend at the restaurant to find out the friend I had picked up had invited one of her other friends. Ok no biggie so far. We all sat talking eventually I said should we order drinks every one put there order in and I go to the bar order and pay for them
When I got back to the table the extra guests husband had just sat down (only met him and his wife once before) asked him what he wanted to drink go and buy it sit down.
After about 30 mins we decided to order food. So they were all shouting out their orders to me wtf. I said ok whose going up to order nobody answered. Felt embarrassed at the silence so I stood up with my purse and asked if someone else would come with me to order. Friend came with me and husband of extra guest. Ordered the food for us four friends the the husband shouted out his order. It was rang up and the server said the amount due. They just stood there quiet not offering to pay any part of the bill so I pay. Got back to the table two more guests more family members of the friend I had picked up ok wtaf. Anyway I didn't buy them a drink they got their own and didn't stay to eat. Sorry for the ramble but my question aibu to think that the friend I picked up was taking the piss inviting all these other people and aibu to think they were all taking the piss not offering to pay for their drink or their food. And no I am not well off but I am bloody annoyed and upset
Should have said I have name changed for this

OP posts:
AlisonDonut · 05/05/2022 21:13

You got the money back from everyone before the end of the meal right?

AlmondyCookie · 05/05/2022 21:14

Why did you buy lunch and drinks for these people? That makes no sense.

dementedpixie · 05/05/2022 21:14

I hope you asked for payment from everyone before you left

Vallmo47 · 05/05/2022 21:14

I’m pretty 50/50 on this because you should have told people they have to pay your own way because you can’t treat everyone. I wouldn’t have gone up to order when it was clearly heading cheeky fuckery way.

Sh05 · 05/05/2022 21:15

I hope you got back to the table and said right, this is the total, cough up everyone!
If you didn't then you can still do it by text

BestDove · 05/05/2022 21:15

Create a group chat on WhatsApp. Then send a photo of the receipt with your bank details. Ask them to calculate what each ordered inc tip and transfer the money to you.

Don't let them treat you like a mug!!

HolyMoly22 · 05/05/2022 21:16

Why didn't you ask them for the money?

GlowUp2022 · 05/05/2022 21:16

BestDove · 05/05/2022 21:15

Create a group chat on WhatsApp. Then send a photo of the receipt with your bank details. Ask them to calculate what each ordered inc tip and transfer the money to you.

Don't let them treat you like a mug!!

Yep, do this.

Wnikat · 05/05/2022 21:16

Send them a message with your bank details and how much they owe you for food and drink they ordered.

PenOrPencil · 05/05/2022 21:17

YABU - why on Earth did you pay for them?!? I hope you are drip feeding and they paid you at the end of your meal.

MargeSimpson79 · 05/05/2022 21:17

I have put yabu on the basis that why on Earth did you just not say to them you were not paying for their food and drink?!

Beamur · 05/05/2022 21:18

Next time, say to the waiter - we're paying separately. I'm only paying for my own order.
But do try and get your money back from these CF.

Inklingpot · 05/05/2022 21:18

Why the hell did you pay for them all?

BlancmanegeBunny · 05/05/2022 21:18

Why did you pay?????

Springhassprung86 · 05/05/2022 21:18

Yanbu in that they were cheeky bastards. But why didn’t you ask for the money? I second the group WhatsApp idea.

PurassicJark · 05/05/2022 21:18

Should have said something at the time. Sounds like your 'friends' know you're a pushover and can get you to pay for their food. Guessing this has happened before, 'forgotten' purses etc.

Blueeilidh · 05/05/2022 21:18

Clearly they are cheeky but I don't understand why you paid in the first place. How is the bill normally split when you go out?

bellsbuss · 05/05/2022 21:18

You should have set up a tab so everyone could pay at the end or asked for the money before people left. Must be a record for the most CFs in one place.

PumpkinsandKittens · 05/05/2022 21:19

This has never ever happened to me, I don’t understand how it happened to you and why you paid??????!

stuntbubbles · 05/05/2022 21:20

Has this sort of thing happened before? Why didn’t you just order food individually or set up a tab to split at the end? It sounds as though they all knew they could take advantage of you – unless you’ve missed out a bit where they paid you at the end.

rookiemere · 05/05/2022 21:20

Why didn't you ask for payment ?
Anyway just whatsapp the people you know with you bank details and ask them to forward it on to the others, and next time only go out with people you know.

TabithaTittlemouse · 05/05/2022 21:20

Why did you pay for everyone? Are you their mother?

HanSB · 05/05/2022 21:21

I'm really confused by this, why were they under the impression that you were paying and didn't offer to pay their fair share of the bill? Was it your birthday and you had invited everyone out? I don't think these people are your friends. They have taken advantage of you and you let them do it! I couldn't stay in contact with people that treated me like that, it's disgusting behaviour and you have every right to be upset but you need to learn to stand up for yourself too

ChudraWouldaShouldya · 05/05/2022 21:21

YABU for not asking them to cough up!

Why would you not do that 🤷🏼‍♀️

Unanananana · 05/05/2022 21:22

Why the fuck did you pay? You should have just told them all to order their own.

The Whatsapp group is a good idea. But my word, next time if there is a next time take your backbone with you.