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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I’m definitely reasonable…. I think!

184 replies

GracieLouFreeebush · 07/03/2022 20:06

I went out on Saturday, it was for someone’s birthday and was split over two venues meaning we needed taxis halfway through the day. Me and my partner are skint at the moment so he offered to come pick me up, ferry a car full in between then walk the dog at the other side for a couple of hours before driving me home.

I only actually know the person who’s birthday it was. There is a group chat though, it was such a good day we decided to keep it going so we can arrange meet ups in future. Some people had to still get taxis across because there was 19 of us and only 4 fit in my car, including me.

The next morning in the group chat the person who had booked the taxis (Ubers) put her bank details in for everyone to transfer their share - including me. It worked out at £14 each, everyone but me sent the money and she chased me up for it, I replied saying oh I didn’t get a taxi because DP came and drove. She replied saying “to make it fair it’s been divided equally between all that attended so that some don’t have to pay more”…. But I am paying more, because I also paid in petrol and DP paid in time. I’ve refused to pay (I don’t even have the money until I get paid Friday).

Since then I’ve been removed from the group chat, when I asked my friend she explained the others are upset that I would be so selfish and make them pay more, but I see it as we would have needed to pay for an extra taxi so I saved everyone money.

OP posts:
Tuiwow · 07/03/2022 20:09

Tell them to piss off. CFs

bert3400 · 07/03/2022 20:10

That is outrageous. Can you explain to your friend you are skint and that's why your DH picked you up . Honestly they are CFs and it's a shame you've been removed for the group to explain your reasons .

purpleme12 · 07/03/2022 20:10

If you didn't use a taxi then you shouldn't have to pay towards it
This is so bad

Aquamarine1029 · 07/03/2022 20:11

Fuck those people. Good riddance.

Sexnotgender · 07/03/2022 20:11

YANBU.

bigred22 · 07/03/2022 20:11

Ask your friend if they think your DP's car runs on magic dust instead of fuel

GracieLouFreeebush · 07/03/2022 20:12

With it being a group of 18 that seem to agree with me it makes me wonder if I am in the wrong. I wouldn’t have ruined DPs day if I could have afforded taxis!

OP posts:
GracieLouFreeebush · 07/03/2022 20:12

*seem to disagree with me

OP posts:
luxxlisbon · 07/03/2022 20:12

I mean you clearly aren’t being unreasonable I don’t understand how anyone never mind multiple people in the group think they are paying more when you didn’t get the taxi.

I would just put it behind you. You aren’t friends with them anyway so it’s leave it and move on. They are being incredibly weird but no point hanging onto it.

stuntbubbles · 07/03/2022 20:13

Not the point but why would anyone arrange a birthday event that involves a £14 taxi ride in the middle?!

Anyway YANBU. You didn’t get a taxi, and you offered lifts. Nor did you plan the event with the spendy taxi ride in the middle. Nice and mature of them to boot you off the group chat so they can bitch about it.

mnnewbie111 · 07/03/2022 20:13

Oh my god. They're all dick heads

cupsoftea31 · 07/03/2022 20:15

Ohhhhh nooo noo noo do not pay a single penny. They can pi$s off 😁

twominutesmore · 07/03/2022 20:15

YANBU. They're ridiculous. Why would those who didn't get a taxi have to pay? I've never heard anything like it. Message her separately and say what you said here - you couldn't afford taxis so dp put himself out to pick you up. If you pay for the taxi you've paid more than anyone as also paid for petrol, parking, DP's time.

BurntO · 07/03/2022 20:15

That is madness OP. I’d be quite upset. Can you say you were trying to save money hence getting the lift?

SaltedCaramelIcedLatte · 07/03/2022 20:15

What a strange request! Good job you aren't friends with the rest of them!

GracieLouFreeebush · 07/03/2022 20:16

I don’t understand how anyone never mind multiple people in the group think they are paying more when you didn’t get the taxi.
I can see why those that DP gave a lift have paid a share because it was just luck of who was standing nearest got the lift, but I think I’m different because it was my car he was driving.

Not the point but why would anyone arrange a birthday event that involves a £14 taxi ride in the middle?!
It was an activity with a couple of drinks after and then a taxi to bottomless brunch in the city centre.

OP posts:
goeasyonmee · 07/03/2022 20:16

Say you're happy to pay as long as the 3 that came in your car reimburse you for the fuel. Send your bank details and wait.

Friolero · 07/03/2022 20:16

Of course you're not being unreasonable!

It's fair for the others who got a lift with you to chip in, but there's no way you should have to!

goeasyonmee · 07/03/2022 20:17

*add on a bit for your DP's Saturday rate

stuntbubbles · 07/03/2022 20:17

Tell them DP is a taxi service and everyone needs to chip in £14 to him, too.

GracieLouFreeebush · 07/03/2022 20:19

The people that have said I’m unreasonable, please can you explain your reasoning? I’m genuinely baffled at what I’ve done wrong in the eyes of the other women.

OP posts:
FuckThatBullshit · 07/03/2022 20:19

I doubt 18 people agree here OP. There's probably one Regina and 17 nodding dogs. Fuck them x

TooManyPJs · 07/03/2022 20:22

That's awful. Of course you shouldn't have had to pay. And to exclude for that is awful bullying behaviour. Id get new friends if I were you.

bumbledeedum · 07/03/2022 20:23

@goeasyonmee

Say you're happy to pay as long as the 3 that came in your car reimburse you for the fuel. Send your bank details and wait.
This!!

You've had a lucky escape OP. Insane people.

YellowAndGreenToBeSeen · 07/03/2022 20:23

I don’t think you are being unreasonable but I can also see the logic behind the decision to split the costs between everyone - those who couldn’t get in your car had to pay / suck it up.

I would pay but I wouldn’t have suggested the split.